to contact the police about my neighbor?

[leanne45]

Basically we had a massive party last weekend ,admittedly it went on later than we'd planned and carried on a bit on sunday ,but it's not like it's everyweekend, it's maybe twice a year at most.

So on monday, my husband was leaving for work and the next door neighbour confronted him about the noise. hubby just told him he needs to get a life and walked past him,because to be honest it's our house and again it's not like it's every weekend.

As he tried to walk past ,the neighbour grabbed him by the throat and basically said anymore noise and he would hurt us. He then saw me later ,came out and called me 'subhuman' and swore at me and went back in the house .Another neighbour he was out in his garden saw this, but said nothing.

Iam not comfortable living here now, and I want to call the police,because Iam worried what he might do.My hubby just says it could make things worse. He doesn't work,or doesn't seem to ,according to some people round here he has mental problems and he goes to the gym everyday, to be honest they way he acted and looks like he is on steriods. Could the police search his house and get him out of there that way? he rents.

[YouTheCat]

What other thread?

[User100]

Firstly he is being totally unreasonable. I'd have been knocking on your door throttling your hubby around 1am - what's the point waiting until the next day!
Second, I know people like to keep aninymous on MN but can you PM me your postcode because I'm just moving house and want to check it's not too close.

[CadieAgain]

User100

YABU OP. Your neighbour sounds great. I'd take him a bottle of wine if I saw him doing that.

[ttc2015]

Wow this is what happens when two neighbours from hell meet if it's not BS/exaggerated of course . I always wondered what happened to my ex-s nasty neighbour and thought they should meet someone just like them!

OP YANBU to be upset at his aggression and think he's a neighbour from hell. Your Dh was very unreasonable and rude and the way he spoke and you both acted make you neighbours from hell too!

[snowgirl29]

IMHO you are both BU. Violence is never acceptable but I can tell you living in an area where people Party like this regularly it can get beyond a Joke. I was tearing my hair out last summer when there was party after party. One House had a Party 3 days in a row until 2-3am! If I'd have approached them then to talk about it reasonably and just been told to get a life I think I'd have acted very similar too! My neighbour always let's me know when she's having a Party and they always tell me just to knock on if the noise is too loud past a certain time. It cost my neighbour nothing to do so and I can then make sure the children have a DVD or something to drown out the noise. I think you're going to have to swallow some pride here and get your DH to say sorry.

[Ilovechelseaflowershow]

sounds to me like your party was icing on disturbance cake for them.

we had neighbours like you, we coped with soooo much noise and on top of that - parties.

[Ilovechelseaflowershow]

oh and when we had a party ONCE that spilled over till all of 1am, I profusly apologised to my neighbours and gave them flowers and wine the next day.

[londonrach]

Very glad not living next to op. My neighbours are lovely and quite. Off to bed now with a good book. Night all at 9pm x

[londonrach]

Quiet not quite you hear that ipad!!!

[theroundball]

I'm going to get my popcorn out and wait to see what MNHQ's verdict is.

[SoleSource]

I'd be cheering the neighbour on!!

[Aermingers]

I think Mumsnet HQ have drunk so much gin they've passed out gone home by this time.

[Aermingers]

Haha. I kind of hope it's real because I think DH deserves a dry slap even if he is just a figment of someone's imagination.

[CrystalCove]

Why didn't your DH apologise for disturbing your neighbour? And why was he so rude instead?

And why have you ignored posters asking you this question?

[fearandloathinginambridge]

My husband is a placid, tolerant, kind man but on one occasion when our neighbours had a party -pounding bass, shrieking till 5am etc he went batshit.

I think you need to cool your jets. As awful as the neighbours response was he may have just been tipped off the edge by sleepless night and the general sense that his neighbours don't give a shit about him.

On a final note, I have mental health 'issues' but I don't want to stab my neighbours up ... even though they are pricks.

[Pedestriana]

Your neighbour was BU but unfortunately you/hubby were being far more U and rude to boot,which would have provoked an already difficult situation.

Recently we had a small party on a Friday evening. I knocked at all our near neighbours doors telling them we'd be doing so, and told them they were welcome to come along if they wished.. The music was turned down at 10pm. People were reminded when leaving to be quiet.

If I had been listening to someone else's music on full blast for hours on end, and then it started up again I would have been pissed off. Particularly as if, when I raised this, my neighbour was so blase about it.

[DownWithThisTypeOfThing]

So, how many threads have people got on "hide" at the moment? They're not even interesting!

[Jb291]

You and your husband frankly sound like dreadful selfish people who have no consideration for those around you. Your behaviour sounds extremely unreasonable and very very antisocial. I think if I were in your neighbours shoes you might have been called a bit more than subhuman. Noise nuisance which results in sleep deprivation is awful and I think you need to learn to be more considerate of other people

[aintgonnabenorematch]

In what way do you think the Police can 'get him out of the house'?. Your OP suggests you mean for ever since you said you didn't want to live next door to him anymore.

No the Police can't do that unless he's arrested for a serious crime that would result in your neighbour being remanded in custody and then getting a prison sentence.

Violence is never acceptable ever. But sounds like your DP and maybe you too are anti - social and are just pissed off that the bloke reacted (inappropriately) to the bad attitude that you both have. Your DD was arrogant and verbally aggressive. I guess you'd both be happy with him being like that as long as the focus of his verbal aggression does just creep away and 'get a life'.

Steroids/MH problems are a distraction and you know it.

[ButterflyUpSoHigh]

How incredibly selfish of you to have music on that late. Do you have no consideration for your neighbours?

[LittlePeasMummy1]

I used to live next door to a couple who sound exactly like you and they drove us to the brink. Even when they were quiet, the threat of noise made life stressful. We complained a few times and they basically told us that we were boring and that it was their house and their right to play loud music and party whenever they felt like it- in fact they seemed genuinely perplexed as to why were even complaining. If it wasn't for this, I would have assumed this was a wind up. So yes, YABU, and while it must have been extremely distressing for your husband to be grabbed by the throat, you should both have thought of that before you started antagonising him. Sleep deprivation doesn't bring out the best in anyone.

[Notcontent]

Sleep deprivation is a form of torture.

Some people in my street had a party at the weekend. It wasn't even next door but it was so loud that dd couldn't sleep in her bedroom. I really felt like throwing a brick through their window. Maybe I will next time.

[minesapintofwine]

This just might be a Yabu whitewash
whitewash.

I'll join in. Yabu. And bloody selfish. And I would want to throttle you if you had a party until 3am and told me to get a life. Actually, I have a life. It's great. Sometimes I even have go to a party, but not at the expense of pissing people off -what's the point??--

On another note, if your neighbour DOES have mental health issues maybe you should consider the impact of your behaviour (parties=sleep deprivation, rudeness=anger,paranoia, loneliness) on him. I know very little of my problems but ffs can't be hard to be a bit more sensitive can it op

Grit