to ask what silly lies you tell to keep up appearances?

[Penfolds5]

I pretend to like films with subtitles, but in reality I find them hard to read and would go for bad dubbing/a Cameron Diaz romcom any day.

I've also been known to switch my radio from Smooth FM to Radio 4 or 6 when someone's coming over.

Piratejones
I pretend we have 4 bedrooms instead of 3, To achieve this we had to cut a hole in a wall and nail a fake door in to the hole.

This might be the oddest thing in this thread

To look shocked if people say they have a glass of wine a night!!!

Oh and my DS never plays games above his age limit

I watch Geordie Shore .

As a senior professional person, I don't think owning up to this would be wise or sensible, so I have never admitted it to anyone. In the unlikely event that GS became a topic of conversation at work, I would try to avoid actually lying, but economy with the truth would be employed.

I pretend that my dog sleeps in his own bed.
Which is true for a bit until he's sure we are fast asleep then he sneaks up onto the end of ours.
Non dog co-sleepers are horrified when DD blurts out the truth
bloody kids

There are a lot of people telling posties that they're on nights, I bet they don't believe a word!

My class think I am 56. I am 43. I overheard one child teasing another for having an older carer so blurted out "Well I am 56 and I can still do everything!" Now they think I am amazing for training for a marathon.

Amazingly, none of them have cottoned onto the fact that my kids are 7 so that would have made me a very elderly prima gravida.

I try to be honest at work, but it is difficult sometimes because they ask you so many random questions. One lie I always say, which I happen to regard as truth even if the government don't, is that tests are not the be all and end all.

And I always say their homemade things are great and display them. I do like about how lovely the bath stuff they give is though, as it mostly exacerbates my eczema and I have to give it to my sister, who loves it instead.

My sister had a party and shoved all the crap and unsightly furnishings/dirty linen in the spare bedroom to create the illusion of minimal decor, jammed the door shut and climbed out of the window (the room didn't have a lock) and when people asked what was in the room she said her partners private office, totally out of bounds

I say that DP and I moved in together after 9 months, whereas really it was only 4 and a bit...

riverboat DH and I moved in together after 3 months... And I always tell people the truth ??

I pretend I understand politics more than I do. I nod and try change subject!

I'm with you on GS jessym. I download it on demand on sky, watch it, delete straight away and then delete from my deleted list (leaving everything else on there). That bit is because my 16 year old DSS would judge me and I can't cope with that.

I despise the Daily Mail and all it represents. I would never, ever dream of buying a copy.

But I admit checking out its website at least once a day, if only to laugh at its ghastliness.

Rocker I'm illustrator but an earn a living from drawing for a weird sub culture. That's all I'm saying!

I send emails to management later so it looks like I work longer hours ?

That's about it - no shame

All that therapy money paid off !!

I used to pretend to like cool indie music when really I used to come home and listen to Abba!

All that therapy money paid off !!

OMG, that's it, isn't it?! In my case, a blessed combination of emotional honesty (therapy) and not giving a fucking fuck (age)

I've been reading these in gales of laughter, remembering all the things I used to fib about, and wondering how come it all stopped ... I don't even lie about having done therapy!

In past lives, I re-framed the truth for a living, have had numerous imaginary boyfriends, made up extensively exciting weekends, travelled to places I actually passed through on the way somewhere else, and ... oh, all sorts of things.

Never went as far as a false doorway. That wins

When I was 19 I really liked a guy who was into grunge and war films, so I lied that I loved war films too.. I tried to sit through one and lasted about 5 mins so just looked up quotes from the film online. He totally drank it up

Like geekymommy I am really really face blind.

I have people say hello to me all the time and I don't have a clue who they are. It's really hard. It makes me feel really panicky.

So I do a lot of cheerfully vague 'chat' to hide the fact I don't have a Scooby doo who I am talking to.

Apart from that, I will tell a 'white lie' to save someone's feelings (if they ask me what I think of their watercolour / novel and it is, imo, truly dire, I will always compliment them on the effort and achievement)

I will pretend to be interested to my children when they are banging on about Minecraft/Robocraft/the amazing Ant City they made, for the 17th hour without a breath....

Someone I know...

My mum's friend...

A friend of a friend...

Any stories beginning with this are from MN - I don't "know" the people involved at all.

When I go to Sainsburys, I put any 'Basics' range stuff upside down in the trolley in case I see anyone I know.

Drbonnie, I sometimes pick up some groceries for my sad and he aske me to get hin a newspaper (he's elderly & a DM reader) . As if that weren't bad enough he always asks for a 'Basics' trifle! I live in fear of seeing someone I know.

Oh dear auto correct fails * dad etc

I am very vague about my job if I'm asked by school mums / local group friends, I don't really want them to realise I'm on a very good income/highly educated. I live in a working class area. I guess I think they would judge me as being 'up myself' as we used to say. Also they would probably think my job was a cushy public sector waste of time it is.

My cat never drinks from her water bowl must drink from puddles I guess so I don't bother changing the water, it gets quite grubby. I change the bowl before my cleaner arrives so she doesn't think I'm neglectful

I think I am less bothered by what people think as I get older. I do much less panic tidying these days. Or maybe that's just laziness...

I tell people we're off on holiday to our "house" in fantastic place when in fact it's only ours for one week a year. We love it (took it over from my uncle) but the word "timeshare" never passes my lips!