Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 ··· 7 8 9 ··· 12 13

Original poster

to ask what silly lies you tell to keep up appearances?

303 replies

Penfolds5 · 02/06/2015 13:52

I pretend to like films with subtitles, but in reality I find them hard to read and would go for bad dubbing/a Cameron Diaz romcom any day.

I've also been known to switch my radio from Smooth FM to Radio 4 or 6 when someone's coming over.

OP posts:

owlborn · 03/06/2015 08:02

When I was a student I used to lie in the other direction. I had no loans, no grant and no debts and a generous allowance from my dad and lived in a flat my trust fund bought. Lied all the time about being skint, pretended I had a student loan, and normally wouldn't admit to owning my flat.

Gennz · 03/06/2015 08:18

I didn't think I lied about things but I realise I do... I also pretend to have a worse memory than I do because sometimes people get freaked by how much I remember.

I also pretend - especially when out with work colleagues - to be offended by cigarette smoke, when actually I used to smoke fairly regularly as a uni student and am still not averse to a sneaky ciggy with a glass of wine.

DownWithThisTypeOfThing · 03/06/2015 08:26

owlborn as someone who defined an impoverished student your friends/peers will have known

DollsHouseTeaParty · 03/06/2015 08:48

I have put empty wine bottles in my neighbours recycling bin if mine is looking a bit full

When poundland first opened in my town I loved it but would make sure no-one was around to see me go in there

I saw a woman in Waitrose hide a reduced item under her Daily Mail (better off hiding the Daily Mail under the reduced item, I would have thought more of her!)

AuntOlive · 03/06/2015 08:49

Dolls the mark of a true DM reader!

hotlikeme · 03/06/2015 08:50

Haha owlborn I've never been overdrawn in my life but used to make out that I was desperate for next payday as my friends were always in debt and I didn't want to be seen as any different to them.

Shakey1500 · 03/06/2015 08:55

When DH is away working nights, I have a loud pretend conversation with him. In case there's a burgler listening planning an attack.

Funnily enough DH still manages to be in the wrong even when he's not there

AuntOlive · 03/06/2015 08:57

Shakey this made me literally LOL! The bit about DH being wrong that is. The other part is v sensible security precaution..

GertyD · 03/06/2015 09:00

I make a big, gooey, delicious chocolate cake for my team every now again. They love it. Several say it is the best they ever had. I take 100% credit and refuse to give the recipe.

It is Better Crocker.

DollsHouseTeaParty · 03/06/2015 09:03

Aunt

Shakey sometimes the only place a man can be is in the wrong. And if he's not there to actually speak for himself? Ah well.

PickledOnionSoup · 03/06/2015 09:09

Have nominated this thread for classics as it's hilarious

As for me, some of mine have been mentioned such as decanting cheaper hand gel into naice hand gel dispensers.

Also, my DS is a shower gel snob, so I buy cheaper gel and put it in a Lynx bottle

I tell people that I got a 2:1 in my degree but I actually got a 2:2. To be fair, I was only actually 1.5% average overall away so a small lie in the great scheme of things

CMOTDibbler · 03/06/2015 09:14

I only admit on here just how lonely I am.

If people ask how I am, I say 'good thanks' rather than tell the truth about my daily pain levels, and my despair at my parents health. Because no one really wants to know that tbh, and even on the odd occasion I share something about my mums dementia, people change the subject as soon as possible.

CornChips · 03/06/2015 09:15

I know I have said this before on MN, but one Christmas I was at Lidl and the woman in front of me in the checkout queue answered her mobile with the words 'hang on I'm just in Waitrose, can I call you back?'

AuntOlive · 03/06/2015 09:15

Cmot you're lonely. My mum has dementia too. You can talk to me if you'd like

purpler · 03/06/2015 09:26

I lied to the bra shop lady when she asked how old my baby was...getting finally fitted to get rid of my feeding bras...I said 9 months rather than 19 months

OnlyLovers · 03/06/2015 09:43

thehuman, I'm a freelance home-worker too and my life needs to be morel like yours! What do you do and how?

I mean how do you manage to do freelance work consisting of one Twitter update a day?

I don't need any help with the rest; my cooking method sounds a lot like yours already and I can't remember when I last got out the Hoover.

thehumanjam · 03/06/2015 09:57

Onlylovers - well I think I'm kidding myself that I'm a freelance worker. That one Twitter update a day isn't paying the bills or winning me any clients . I got so caught up in the marketing and setting up my business and then realised that its all smoke and mirrors and it's the setting up bit that I liked and not the actual work. Maybe I should consider a career in marketing?

OnlyLovers · 03/06/2015 09:59

I by contrast have failed to do ANY marketing for myself, although I'd like to. Maybe I should hire you.

thehumanjam · 03/06/2015 10:02

Noneedtoworryatall · 03/06/2015 10:29

Downstairs in my house is spotless and people often remark on it with three kids, work etc.

I only Hoover the lower part of my stairs as they turn up onto another level so it looks like upstairs is tidy too.

The truth is beyond this it looks like my house has been burgled it's so untidy

WhyIRayLiotta · 03/06/2015 10:29

I sometimes say 'my sister thinks' if I am putting forward an opinion that I know someone will dislike at work (usually something a bit feminist or liberal )
I also pretend I am not sure about things that I know for a fact as I am embarrassed to have more knowledge about something than the expert.
I also pretend that I am completely comfortable in my skin. I never moan about being overweight or complain about how I look, partly as I don't want my DD to inherit my neuroses but also as I think if I point my fat tummy out people will see it. My friends are jealous of my confidence in my body. But actually I obsess over how I look every hour of every day.

I love this thread. I'm agreeing with so many of them that I am not sure if I am ever myself!

Only1scoop · 03/06/2015 10:33

I have a great job for wriggling out of things as I can say 'can't do sorry I'm on standby that day'

Just have to remember roster is on the fridge

Only1scoop · 03/06/2015 10:34

I have a great job for wriggling out of things as I can say 'can't do sorry I'm on standby that day'

Just have to remember roster is on the fridge

sofato5miles · 03/06/2015 10:41

My husband got carried away talking at a children's birthday party as he was panicking in the small talk territory of school parent's he didn't know.

Sexy mumof Casper: Our boys play so nicely together.
DH: Yes
MumofCasper: and i love you DS1's name we very nearly called our Casper that.
Dh: How interesting, we very nearly called our son Casper. (Oh no we didn't).

(quick text to me to get me to corroborate, should i ever see her).

MrsItsNoworNotatAll · 03/06/2015 10:52

I pretend I'm super busy and start walking fast as if I'm in a hurry to get somewhere if I see someone I know who'll want to chat.

The reality is I just cannot be bothered with conversation at that particular time. I'm in no rush to get anywhere it's just I can't be bothered making small talk.

Flip

1 2 ··· 7 8 9 ··· 12 13