to ask what silly lies you tell to keep up appearances?

[Penfolds5]

I pretend to like films with subtitles, but in reality I find them hard to read and would go for bad dubbing/a Cameron Diaz romcom any day.

I've also been known to switch my radio from Smooth FM to Radio 4 or 6 when someone's coming over.

[ImprobableBee]

OP, I don't think these things will be fooling anybody. The rest of your mannerisms will surely give you away. Or you're underestimating anybody with whom you come into contact..?

[ItsTricky]

I'm now thinking of Hyacinth Bucket. I used to love that show.

[blackrabbitwhiterabbit]

Shayne - as if it's unacceptable to have a baby before you're married??

[NorbertDentressangle]

Crikey some of the early responses on here were a bit harsh!

No wonder people have to add "(light-hearted)" to the threads on here more and more often.

[TwerkingSpinster]

The dog gets a lot of blame in this house, mainly about spending the night scratching thus explaining the never swept slightly unswept floor.
I blame my husband for taking all my cash when I don't want to tip!
I make people cal me Mrs Twerk, not my first name when I'm feeling moody.
So, all in all.....I'm a bitch!

[Greythorne]

I hide the fact that I am a very fussy eater. It seems it is up there with paedophilia these days if you don't love quinoa and chorizo and olives and dill. I like simple food but never tell anyone. My husband only found out a couple of years back and we have been married for 10 years.

[SaucyJack]

I close the windows so the neighbours can't hear me listening to Elton John.

[Grumpyoldblonde]

I kind of pretend I only watch documentary programmes, when really I love a bit of trash.

[taptapioca]

Greythorne you are right there. I am a vegetarian so already considered 'fussy'. If I then dare to admit I don't like one more food people start rolling their eyes at me!

[luckiestgirlintheworld]

Goodday: don't worry, my friends and family are in no way polite and would absolutely tell me if I smell. The times they do tell me I smell, I can smell it too, so I'm not under any illusions!

[measles64]

My age well not a lie I just do not put people right when they think I am younger than I am :D

[tootiredtoknow]

People that say nothing probably don't even know they're doing it.

I love hunting around the reduced section in the supermarket (I don't need to but did once upon a time and can't break the habit). I do however hide any bargains under the rest of the shopping just in case I see anybody I know.

I also tell DP that I'm reading important work documents when I'm entranced in the laptop screen when in fact I'm reading AIBU.

[ItBoilsMyPiss]

To my DH when keeping up the appearance that I've been busy:

"Yeah I spent the morning sorting out my cosmo drawers and got distracted by all the pretties." (Cosmo drawers being make up/hair stuff/jewellery etc, I have a lot due to my job)

REALITY:

I marathonned The Following and drooled over Kevin Bacon all morning.

[Penfolds5]

OP, I don't think these things will be fooling anybody. The rest of your mannerisms will surely give you away.

Have you been watching me dance round my kitchen, Improbable?

[Sallystyle]

I can't think of anything. Except one big thing which I lie about to save someone's feelings because that person doesn't have the maturity to understand yet but it would hurt her.

I found that when I hit 30 I stopped caring about stuff like this and was happy to be all me. I think there is a difference between telling white lies to keep the peaceand telling lies to keep up appearances.

[Sallystyle]

There is nothing wrong with Elton John!

She says while playing Will Young as we speak

[maddy68]

Not really lies but omissions.
We have a reasonably good lifestyle and I don't talk about the luxury things we do as I'm conscience of their income levels and it could come across as braggy. However o really don't think I lie about anything to keep up appearances?

[EmilyMaitliss]

I like the modesty ones the best on this thread.

I can tell that I would like grey, tap topical and maddy in rl.

Yy to the veggie and the lifestyle thing.

[MoreBeta]

Penfolds - sounds like you either:

a) want people to think you are more intellectual and cultured than you really are; or

b) you really are intellectual and cultured but enjoy a low brow stuff even more.

Is it a) or b)?

I havent read a book in over a decade, rarely watch films, been to the theatre once in 20 years and often like watching funny animal videos on YouTube and random stuff on Dave TV.

I have a PhD but my friends don't need to know that so probably in category b).

[TinkerTailorSoldierSpy]

Christ, some people on this site are so sodding miserable.

Anyway, I hid all the crap gossip magazines when we had a decorator come round for a quote. Cause he cares, I'm sure

[fairnotfit]

I drop the blinds in my bedroom when the window cleaners arrive so they can't see the mess.

I sincerely deplore the Daily Mail, but still look at it online and daily

I'm happy to leave my copies of Private Eye and the Economist lying around, but am less forthcoming about Woman & Home...

[EmilyMaitliss]

tapoica

[BathshebaDarkstone]

I genuinely can't think of anything.

[coffeetasteslikeshit]

Why is it harsh to admit to not lying about pointless stuff? My mum lies about pointless stuff, it drives me mad so I make a point not to do it. People can take me or leave me as I am - and no, I'm not doing it without realising I'm doing it either tootiredtoknow, how un-self-aware do you think I am?!