to think these parents should have checked first if they wanted to go out and leave their child with me?

[Tinklewinkle]

Sorry, very long winded title, but I'm bloody pissed off and don't think I've done anything wrong.

DD2's best friend lives a few doors down from us. We have a bit of an open door policy whereby the girls (both 9, nearly 10) knock for each other, if it's nice they tend to play together out the front, or they'll come in (here or at DD's friend's house) and play for a while, then when we get fed up/dishing up dinner/have to go out/whatever we'll send them home.

DH and DD1 are away this weekend and DD2 and I had made plans for a couple of treats. DD's friend came and knocked for her just after lunch and DD asked if they could play for a while. Reminded DD we were going out so they only had an hour or so. All fine.

I sent DD's friend home when we were ready to go, DD and I went out. That was that, all very normal and nothing that hasn't happened pretty much every day for several years.

Anyway, DD and I return and we've been home a matter of minutes before there's a knock on the door. I assume it's DD's friend and go to explain that we were going to sort out dinner and have a movie night, so DD would see her tomorrow. But it's the friends mum.

It turns out that while DD's friend was here, they'd gone out. They'd returned to find their DD sitting on their doorstep and the parents are very upset with me.

At no point had either parent mentioned they were going out, they didn't pop down, phone, text, anything. The friend didn't say a word and I had absolutely no idea they weren't in

Now, there have been times when DD has been there and we've needed to go out. One of us will go down, if it's OK we'll leave DD there if it's not, DD will come with us. I'd never just go out without speaking to them first.

AIBU to think, if you want someone else to be responsible for your child, you should bloody well let them know first. I actually have no problem with their DD staying here when they go out if it's convenient, but they can't just expect me to be responsible for supervising their daughter while they're out if I don't know I'm supposed to be doing so

Result!

Do you think she's been reading Mumsnet?

It does look that way Devora. Tinklewinkle said upthread that she would be able to forgive if the other parent took responsibility and apologised for taking it out on the wrong person, and the other mum has said that very thing almost word for word. At least it shows an ability to learn.

I wonder if there was any stage after they left at which they both realised they had forgotten their child? I guess not as they would have phoned you at the point they knew they were missing her.

I suppose if the prime minister can forget a child in the confusion of leaving, then anyone can do it.

She needs you
She apologised. Good.
Result - as you said she NEVER apologises just acts like nothing happened with other people!

Tinklewinkle, I applaud your assertiveness at not letting this slide + your kindess at not letting it affect your children and I'm SCREAMING with joy at the right result.

This thread should be frame and put on the wall for all of us.

Brilliant!

OP, that was brilliantly handled ! Well done

When I grow up I want to be like the OP.

I'm putting my money on her having read this thread

Ooh, maybe she has read this. That didn't occur to me.

The apology was a bit out of character. It's not that she's not sorry, she just usually tries to sweep it all under the carpet.

Oh well, what's done is done

I hope she's read the thread and realised how bloody irresponsible they both were and how rude she was having a go at you OP when they should have been having harsh words with themselves!

Glad you got an apology.