to be annoyed this woman asked my husband to zip her dress up?

[mynameisvivienne]

My friend had a house party last night for her birthday. She has a large kitchen so most of us were in there when a random woman asked my husband to zip her dress up as it was coming down at the back.

She was with friends and has never met my husband (or me) ever before.

Aibu to have been annoyed?

vivienne you still haven't told us whether Ms ZipGate turned to your DH, who was not the closest person to her, because he was close enough to her (e.g. three paces to her left while her friend was two paces to her right) or whether, as some posters are claiming without evidence, she had to walk across the room to reach him.

limitedperiodonly I'd find a woman who got "very angry" over this far more disturbing than a woman who asked my husband to do her zip up in the middle of a busy kitchen. Very angry is disproportionate.

Well tbf the OP just said it annoyed her. Appropriate response imo.

At university, a group of us were in mine and DH's flat getting ready for a night out.
One of the group was a woman who really fancied DH and would try to flirt with him whenever possible.

This night, she came over to him, did the hair flick and over the shoulder seductive half-smile as per the Hollywood Bonkathon up-thread and asked DH to do up her dress (which was open all the way down her back to her arse). DH looked but obliged and ripped the zip clean off with his big fat meat mallet hands and sausage fingers.

This type of subtle flirting can go horribly wrong.

But it was definitely flirting.

She was saying to you OP 'I can have your man if I want him, bitch'.

I wouldn't be annoyed, I think I'd just find it all a bit cringy and pathetic.

YABNU.

My guess is that most people here ('she just needed help with her zip!') are either extremely naive, or pretending to be much more chilled out about these things than they really are. Apart from the obvious sexual connotations which should have led her to ask a woman or at least one of her friends, men generally have big hands and are not very good at such fiddly things. She clearly wanted to make the point that she is a shit-hot sexy babe who likes the look of your husband and I imagine she got a big kick out of being so obviously flirty right in front of you.

Rose, the OP said it annoyed her. It was LimitedPeriodOnly who said that she'd be "very angry" about it and LPO to whom I addressed my remark, not the OP.

Personally I can't see cause for annoyance, being very angry or even slightly miffed.

"My guess is that most people here ('she just needed help with her zip!') are either extremely naive, or pretending to be much more chilled out about these things than they really are"

Don't you just love it when people think they know what you're thinking more than you do?

"I imagine she got a big kick out of being so obviously flirty right in front of you."

Don't you think that the OP's husband may have got a big kick out of it too? Or do you only think on the behalf of other posters and Ms ZipGate?

men generally have big hands and are not very good at such fiddly things

Really? Why does size determine dexterity? I suppose Rachmaninov, who famously had very large hands, sounded like a toddler bashing a piano when he played his fiddly music...

www.classicfm.com/instruments/piano/pianists-hand-span-infographic/#pOIlss6ptgR3CGi2.97

My guess is that most people here ('she just needed help with her zip!') are either extremely naive, or pretending to be much more chilled out about these things than they really are.

Or neither?

To the last three posters: I'm gonna go ask your partners to help me with this troublesome bra strap.

I'm surprised by some of the responses to the Op. Flirting with someone else's spouse right in front of them is disrespectful and inappropriate. It's made worse by the fact there was an audience.

I'd be furious .

I'd be furious

Watch it badbaldingballerina123, I was classed as 'disturbing' for being 'very angry' at someone blatantly taking the piss in front of me.

We could rise above it in a dignified fashion.

Alternatively, do you want to meet me behind the bikesheds to discuss ways of taking her down?

But the woman wants you to react and be pissed off. Why give her the satisfaction?

I don't know why women are expected to put up with this . Or why women are encouraged to be passive and nice when presented with hostile behaviour from other women. Maybe it's easier to suggest that people on the receiving end of this are disturbing , paranoid ect, rather than acknowledging that women can and do behave in an aggressive manner.

A man would not be called disturbing or paranoid for objecting to a similar scenario involving his wife . Everyone would know that the objection was not about the zip but the attempt at public humiliation in a social group.

If some people are ok with being socially humiliated that's fine. Many are not and quite rightly object. I don't think those people should be belittled for that.

It should be the man who reacts really, saving his partner the job so she doesn't get accused of being jealous. A firm "Can't you get one of your friends to do it?" from the man would be a shock for the asker and make her think twice.. Whereas she'd be expecting the wife to react.

A man would not be called disturbing or paranoid for objecting to a similar scenario involving his wife . Everyone would know that the objection was not about the zip but the attempt at public humiliation in a social group.

I'm struggling with the man's equivalent of this, certainly there's some coquetry which doesn't translate.

In any case I think you're wrong about this - men who are jealous of other men making a gesture towards their wives are considered jealous. A man would be considered gallant to let such an infraction pass without comment.

RoboticSealPup - fair enough, my wife has far more experience undoing bra straps than I have.

To the last three posters: I'm gonna go ask your partners to help me with this troublesome bra strap.

Is it wrong that I would find this very amusing? Am I actually a swinger in disguise?

"A man would not be called disturbing or paranoid for objecting to a similar scenario involving his wife ."

You think not? You're mistaken.

If my DH got "very angry" about a reverse situation I'd find that disturbing too. Disturbing enough for me to tell him to grow the hell up and allow me to decide for myself whether I wanted to be angry, offended or otherwise affected by the equivalent male to female request.

I wouldn't consider it being "socially humiliated" in the least. I'll save that emotion for serious and worthy events.

Social deviants of either sex do this kind of thing to be provocative and aggressive. It's what they do.

Years ago I was in a bar in Crete with DH, then my boyfriend.

We were having a lovely time right until someone stuck his hand up my tiny skirt. You can imagine where his fingers went.

I went bonkers. DH looked at four big blokes and went 'gulp'.

Of course he wanted to defend my honour but he didn't want to get his head kicked in.

That was their intention. They saw a happy couple and it offended their tiny minds and all they could think of doing was upsetting our lovely little world.

Much like ZipZilla. Some people just want to cause trouble because they are inadequate. Whether it's a row or a good kicking is optional. I don't understand why some people don't understand that. Maybe they're lucky enough to have never encountered it.

Not read all replies.... Was this the only thing that happened? If so its not the end of the world maybe she was flirting but who cares its you hes gone home with.

What if a man asked him to do his zip up??? [GRIN]

limited someone sticking their hand up your skirt is nothing like asking someone to zip up a dress. You're kidding, right?

Goodbye you are missing the point. It's not about being jealous.

Sweet baby Jesus Limited, there's a world of difference between sexual assault and and asking a man to do a bloody zip up! There's nothing "Much like Zipzilla" at all in that scene.

You've no idea of Ms ZipGate's motive, I've no idea, the OP has no idea and she still hasn't told us what her husband thought of it, whether he got a kick out of it or whether his "not the nearest person" status to Ms ZipGate meant that he was a foot further away from her than her nearest friend or whether she had to stride 20 meters across the kitchen, flinging bystanders aside as she marched past, to insist that this poor man fixed up her zip.

We don't even know if this zip was undone to the point of the dress falling off her body or whether it was 2 inches undone at the top.

Sheesh. Chill!

Alright, strike "jealous" and insert "paranoid", which is the word you used.

Fgs goodbye no one gives a shit about a zip. Who on earth would be jealous or paranoid about a fucking zip ? The Op is clearly annoyed at the attempt to take the piss out of her by this woman. Limited is making the point that it's a hostile act.