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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

They have brought the fucking dog.

318 replies

Welshmaenad · 15/05/2015 23:09

I'm raging, whether that is U or not!

Quick background, I have a difficult relationship with PIL, they aren't easy people, not especially interested in our lives and visit twice a year (live 400 ish miles away) when they stay for 2-3 days in local hotel (no room here).

Historically they are very passive aggressive, unsupportive, favour BIL over DH and in my view treat him badly, they didn't even bother sending him a birthday card this year. I put them off visiting at Easter as it was the 1st anniversary of my DM's death and I couldn't deal with them, so they have come this weekend. I strategically went food shopping this evening and did not see them.

They have a very old, very horrible dog, terrier cross. It has hospitalised MILs dad several times with bad bites. It was known to be volatile and not safe with kids or cats when they adopted it, pre our children, they were its third or fourth home, other adopters returned it due to volatility. They are shit at managing it, and 50/50 baby it/kowtow to it so it thinks it's the boss, it's snappy, snarly and unpredictable and has basically gone from volatile to vile under their care. They tried bringing it once or twice on visits when DC were smaller and constantly pushed boundaries, would try to fetch it from the car halfway through a day out to be near kids, took kids to car to 'meet' it while I was occupied cooking, would make comments to DC like "oh, poor DDog, he's so sad in the car but mean mummy won't let him in the house" (it eats cats, I have four cats, I feel this is just common sense). I had to get very arsey and say NO, NO DOG before they got the message and started kennelling it.

For my own mental health, and because I have caring responsibilities for my dad, DH is entertaining them and the kids solo this weekend. They have brought the fucking dog. I have gone low level batshit and have told him that he absolutely HAS to enforce no contact or proximity between kids and dog or I will kill the three of them with my bare hands. He's rubbish at standing up to them though and I'm worried that they will ride roughshod over him as per. So I'm going to tell the kids tomorrow that the dog is horrible and they should not be anywhere near the dog and that if GM and GD bring the dog near them they should tell me.

I fear I may be overreacting a smidge because recent behaviour by inlaws means I'm more pissed off with them than usual, but I am genuinely concerned that if this thing gets near my kids, especially my very bouncy animal hugging 5 year old, that it will bite. Am I being a raving bitch or what?

OP posts:
Welshmaenad · 17/08/2016 17:13

Magnificent update.

I text ExDH last night pushing for an update. He told me nothing was booked yet but they were 'looking for kennels'. I pointed out I had FOUND kennels for them to book. He said no, they were looking for kennels local to them. I replied that this was VERY confusing as hadn't they said there were NO available kennels and thus was why they HAD to bring the dog, and how are they now looking for kennels after I've firmly put my foot down??

This did not elicit a reply massive eye roll

I have received a text from ExDH this afternoon to say that cuntydog is booked into kennels local to the inlaws and will NOT be coming with them!!!

Win in all fronts - primarily the kids are safe; I'm not going to die d 72 hours stressing they will get bitten; dog is safely cared for and not frazzling to a crisp in a hot car; DC get to see their GP; I get a bit of R&R with DP after a few trying few weeks; and I HAVE MADE MY FUCKING POINT AND SHOWN THEM I WILL NOT BE MANIPULATED.

It's laughable, if they found them at this short notice they clearly didn't even bother before, they thought they could gleefully disregard me now ex and I have split. Fuck that for a laugh.

V happy. Thanks for all the righteous indignation!!

OP posts:
Puzzledandpissedoff · 17/08/2016 17:19

Glad to hear the update, but hope you'll forgive me (and my cynicism!!) if I put the relief on hold just a bit until they actually turn up without the bloody dog ...

Welshmaenad · 17/08/2016 17:21

ExDH knows very well the kid will rat them out straight away. DD has a phone and will contact me and I'd be there likes shot to pick them up.

OP posts:
rumblingDMexploitingbstds · 17/08/2016 17:21

Hurray for a good outcome! (Although I am with puzzled that yes there's still room for batshit in there)

rumblingDMexploitingbstds · 17/08/2016 17:22

Cross post. Smile hurrah for batshit well covered!

Chippednailvarnishing · 17/08/2016 17:33

Well done!

Bogeyface · 17/08/2016 17:37

And dont forget that you now have cast iron proof that they have lied both now and previously. So exH has no comeback at all when you say that you do not trust them, and hopefully it will give him a bit of a push to start standing up to them himself.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 17/08/2016 17:41

DD has a phone and will contact me and I'd be there likes shot to pick them up

Sounds like a sensible arrangement Wink As I said, I'm just a tiny bit worried that, now he's an ex, he might not consider it important to keep his word with you

Welshmaenad · 17/08/2016 17:55

Nah, he's too scared of me Grin

Yes, proof they lied, and not just that, that they thought it was appropriate to play power games with me and fuck around with my children's safety RIGHT after my beloved dad had just died. I think that says everything you need to know about the kind of people they are.

OP posts:
passingthrough1 · 17/08/2016 21:32

Hurray!!!!!

TheLegendOfBeans · 17/08/2016 21:53

I've got all sorts of Missy Elliott/TLC/Lisa Left Eye Lopes "BAM! KNOCKED U OUT SUCKAAAA!!!!!!" memes running through my head right now Grin

pistol fingers

Rumpelstiltskin143 · 17/08/2016 22:00

Whoo hoo, good for you. Hopefully the pillocks have learned their lesson.

GipsyDanger · 17/08/2016 22:08

Flowerssorry about your loss, you are right, they are using your dads death as a reason to bring cunty dog hoping you'd be distracted. your email was class, called them out on every one of their bullshit excuses.

I do worry that they will try and manipulate your Dc, "this is our secret" "don't tell mummy"
Are the going to get more crafty to try and get their own way?

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 18/08/2016 08:22

Yay! Bloody well done, Welsh - sucked in, IL suckers!!

Still fucking infuriating, the whole situation, because you just know they'll pull the same shit next time as well, thinking you might have "forgotten" or somehow care less about your DCs' wellbeing. Hmm

But for this time - WIN FOR WELSH! GrinWineThanks

MeridianB · 18/08/2016 10:25

Another big congrats from me, OP. You handled everything brilliantly and no one could accuse you of being obstructive or difficult. This dog should not be around people.

Sincere condolences for your loss. Hugs. You're doing brilliantly. Flowers

Trojanhorsebox · 28/08/2016 22:09

is it this weekend? Did they bring the dog?

ohfourfoxache · 28/08/2016 22:23

I'm so sorry about your Dad Thanks

Trojanhorsebox · 28/08/2016 23:29

hope you're having a relaxing weekend away

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