to wonder how anyone doesn't eat their five a day

[underpaidworker]

Without even trying I usually eat 10+ portions a day, I just can't think how anyone doesn't have at least 5 a day.

Today ive had
oats with kiwi and banana
Apple to snack
Chicken pasta with tomatoes, courgette, onion garlic peppers mushrooms (3 portions at least)
Greek salad tomatoes, cucumber, avocado Basil red onion

And now currently snacking on carrots and humous

I had bananas and custard earlier.

Because A. i work in McDonald's and eat lunch there.
B. McDonald's mcflurries are a nicer dessert than manky carrot sticks
i eat 2 portions of veg with my evening meals and cherry tomatoes as snacks and lettuce and any fruit in the house if i fancy a bit

Lemon curd pudding last night has me well on my way to my five a week.

The OPs diet would bore me rigid.

Yesterday I had a bacon sandwich, a KFC as I was extremely busy at work & only had time to grab n go & then coq au vin for dinner..... Oh and a muller chocolate flakes yoghurt.

This sounds really yummy ?? how do you plan your meals? My brain just goes dead when I'm hungry and end up eating random stuff ??, I'm a size 10 now but I'd like to go back to my normal 6/8 size ( I had my second child 9 months ago) id love to see your 'menu for the week'?? Please

Has this just turned into people bragging how bad their diet is?

70% of adults in the UK are obese or overweight, dementia is rising rapidly, diabetes is also rising rapidly and a significant amount of cancers are related to diet. I can't find this amusing. Its all giggles and shit about living on KFC and harribo, until you end up with something nasty.

Agent - I agree. People can eat shit if they like, but They shouldn't be proud of it.

Yesterday I had zero of my five a day. Just meat, carbs and cake :)

This is a properly funny thread. If you are a troll/wind-up merchant, OP, you've done a damned good job

A typical day for me would be:

Breakfast: Copious amounts of coffee
Midmorning snack: Sugar free energy drink or pepsi max or both. Sometimes a bit of whatever new recipe my boss is testing out at work
lunch: Free chinese meal from work. I work split shifts so I don't have time to cook lunch and as I'm going to back to work and not getting dinner until midnight a sandwhich isn't enough, so I eat the free food I get from work.
Dinner: Free chinese meal from work.

If I'm off work on an evening we have more veg. Homemade soup is a fave atm or salmon with new potatoes, baby carrots and baby corn. PSag bol with mushrooms, onions, fresh garlic and extra tomatoes. I only get 3 evenings off a week though.

There's fresh veg used in the meals I get from work, but I doubt it'd be enough to count as a portion and being that it's chinese food it tends to be beasnprouts, beansprouts and more beansprouts as opposed to a variety.

If I'm feeling 'good' I order vege dishes, but most often I don't.

I'd love to have the time to prepare fresh salads and homemade lentil broth etc but I don't.

The children eat better, they normally have fruit with breakfast, some salad or veg and more fruit with lunch and whatever meat and 2 veg, classic northern food my mum serves them up for dinner.

People can eat shit if they like

I must take exception to this. It is teeming with bacteria and you could become very unwell. Please do not eat shit everyone.

Yes but have you checked correct portion sizes? Look at nhs portion sizes website 1 portion = 2 kiwis. 1 portion = 80 g. So you are eating 800 g + of fruit or veg a day? Glad I don't live with your wind!

I have just eaten 5 fun-size packs of chocolate buttons. I have no room left for fruit or veg.

I've just looked at the NHS site says potatoes only don't count because they're eaten in place of other starchy foods, ie rice. So if I eat a banana in place of a Mars bar, then the banana won't count either right? So I might as well just eat the Mars Bar

atticus

I'm enjoying the tales of shit diets much more than the original smug post I must admit!

I eat my 5 a day vicariously through my dc. Then I go and do secret biscuit eating in the kitchen. It involves gazing thoughtfully out of the window, back turned to the kids, while I cram my mouth full of Hobnobs.

Very easy not to get 5 portions. Yesterday i had

A breakfast at Wetherspoons (and didn't eat the tomato)

Crisps for dinner

Chicken burger, chips and gravy for tea

Angel delight for pudding

large amounts of tea and pepsi

As someone will have doubtlessly pointed out, the five a day thing was dreamed up by fruit marketing sorts and is based on what people would be prepared to buy rather than being nutritionally better than eating 4 or 6 pieces of fresh fruit and veg.

Now think about cost. Multiply your oh so virtuous daily fruit and veg consumption by seven to get the weekly cost and then by four to work out what it would cost to feed a family. Plus the bus fares incurred by running to and from the shops. How do you reckon a family on benefit or a low income would pay for that?

I've always wondered why it's 5 a day you're supposed to have. Why not 4 or 6? Is it 5 because it's a nice rounded number?

I do like fruit and vegetables but I certainly don't count how many portions I eat or set out to eat a certain amount. If I ever eat 5 a day it's unintentional.

Yesterday I had porridge and a banana for breakfast, jacket potato with tuna and a packet of crisps for lunch and a crisp sandwich for dinner.

Today I've had a fried egg sandwich and cottage pie with peas and carrots. I don't know what I'm going to have for dinner. Probably another jacket potato.

I know that potatoes don't count towards your 5 a day although I have no idea why. I mean, they do have vitamin c in them and fibre, right?

My family are Greek Cypriot, so I have grown up eating big bowls of salad with everything I'm sure my mum would serve salad with a Sunday roast, given half a chance... and I would say that the kids and I definitely eat our 5-a-day most days. DH is a whole other kettle of fish!

But, you know what? I cannot stand sanctimonious twats bragging about how amazing their diet is and how healthy they are. Eat what you want and shut the fuck up - it isn't a bloody competition! I eat loads of fruit and veg, but I'm also overweight, so I am obviously stuffing my face with unhealthy shit too!

and

I can't believe how badly people eat actually. It really looks so awful you wonder why they keel over and get headaches. How can anyone eat like that and feel good and happy and healthy?

That does not mean you have to eat lots of fruit or veg. You can have a balanced diet without but it does mean avoiding processed foods.

The other issue is quantity. Most people eat much more than they need and eating less makes you feel good and lets the body heal.

I read an article about Chinese teenagers who are paying £15k a year to go to an English state schools and board with local families. They said they could not believe the size of the portions they were served at meals!

Lotus, the chinese students in my town have appalling diets.

I eat at the takeaway I work at twice a day because it's free and quick and no wahsing up.

They spend a fortune each day there, by choice and when I don't see them there I find them in Aldi bulk buying instant noodles.

I do feel like shit for the way I eat, but sadly time restraints make it harder to eat well on work days. I try to make up for it on my days off, but realistically you can only fit so many portions of veg into one meal.