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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be miffed at nursery?

262 replies

mrsnlw2012 · 13/05/2015 09:32

Following on from an earlier thread where DS' keyworker will be swapping rooms with a worker from the toddelr room (who will become his keyworker) she had her first day in the baby room with him yesterday. When I usually call to see how he's getting on I'm told how he is, what he's been upto/ate/drank/slept etc and feel really happy with that. I called yesterday and the new keyworker answered and just said "yep, he's fine" and didnt divulge anything else. I was a bit taken aback and just finished the call. Afterwards I thought "No, I want to know how he is (and book his parents evening)" so I called back to one of the usual workers answered and I got the usual update as to how he had been.

I thought maybe she was just busy and brushed it off. I got home last night and mentioned it it DH who wasn't impressed. He said when he got there, the keyworker was changing DS and handed DS back to DH without any trousers on and handed him the trousers too so DH had to struggle to put them on in the nursery room. Previously when DS had been in the middle of being changed when DH arrives, the keyworker/other workers would dress him fully.

AIBU that Im not happy with this sudden change? Should we just see how it goes or mention something?

OP posts:
Sixgeese · 13/05/2015 10:24

I have read the drip feeds but am struggling getting past the fact that I obviously didn't love any of my 3DC as I never felt the need to call their nursery during the day.

I know OP has other reasons for calling but there was no need for her to be so insulting to all the working parents out there who don't call their DC nursery everyday because have left their DC with childcare that they trust (because they love their DC) and that they have been paid to do a job and not make personal calls during the day.

Allinson2014 · 13/05/2015 10:27

I don't work but I still didn't call the nursery every day even though I was sat at home doing nothing Wink I must really hate my children.

Waltermittythesequel · 13/05/2015 10:27

Six you're just going to have to accept the fact that none of us love our children.

And if you dress them yourself then you're a fool!

Hoppinggreen · 13/05/2015 10:28

If OP is as pleasant as this to the nursery staff the no wonder they couldn't get her off the phone fast enough !!
I would be more miffed at a husband who can't or doesn't think he should put his child's trousers on.
I obviously don't care about my children either as I think that I phoned about twice the whole time they were at preschool.
Anyway OP YABU ( and very rude)

CrystalHaze · 13/05/2015 10:34

Still, there's nothing funnier than an OP throwing a screaming, profanity-laden tantrum because their AIBU didn't go the way they planned it in their head.

Thanks for that, OP. Grin

SophieLeGiraffe · 13/05/2015 10:37

Hello OP ignoring your rudeness here's my take from a full time working mum with one child in nursery since six months old.

When things change at nursery it can be unsettling. When mine moved from the baby rooms and we naturally got less communication i.e. no diary it was hard for me so I talked to the staff and they explained and put my mind at ease.

There was recently a change of staff and a resultant lack of communication as the new ladies weren't quite used to the parents, the style of communications and so on. I talked to the manager and a few days later all was back to normal.

Regarding calling, I have only ever called if there has been a reason for me to be worried - a bad nights sleep, a cold, returning from Illness etc.

I was cross about the very bad handovers we got from the new staff because you want to feel like they know and love your child (most of them do by the way!) so I can see where you're coming from. You just need to talk to them and raise your concern, nicely. And please drop the attitude.

TenerifeSea · 13/05/2015 10:42

YABU to expect a detailed update from nursery staff even if he does have health problems.

ClumsyNinja · 13/05/2015 10:47

OP is paying for a service and it's not likely to be cheap.

Would you walk into Costa, order a coffee and be happy to be given an empty cup and expect to make it yourself just because that's what you do at home? Do you expect to wash your own hair at the hairdressers because you do that at home too?

I think it's entirely acceptable to phone for information, if that's what has been previously agreed with the nursery. As to being passed a half dressed baby at the end of the day... I would not have been impressed either and I would definitely tell them so.

It's irrelevant how busy they might be. They are a business, charging for a professional service and run to make a profit.

Some of these responses to the OP are unbelievably rude & frankly a bit Bonkers!

No, before anyone asks, I do not know the OP. She probably lives in the UK for a start.

Gileswithachainsaw · 13/05/2015 10:48

Oh how neglectful I am. home during the day and not once have I never called to see how either dd is at preschool/nursery.

god someone call SS now.

dd1 is also asthmatic. still i trust staff to get on with things and call me if there's a problem. If not i wait for feed back at end of day.

When dd1 was at pre school I never got feed back. When nursery told me dd2 had eaten all her lunch and played in the garden I almost fainted in shock as I had no idea it was even a thing.

I should never have had kids

scottgirl · 13/05/2015 10:50

Like a key change in a Westlife song, when they all get off their stools at the same time

This actually made me LOL.

Feminine · 13/05/2015 10:51

In your opening post you said something like "should we wait and see what happens?"
Yes, you should.
It might be possible that previous to this, you've been indulged.
You might find out now.

I'm also wondering why you didn't mention your sons health issues, in this - or your post from a few days ago?

Surely it would have been imperative?

You know, for the whole picture?

BlueBananas · 13/05/2015 10:51

This is hilarious Grin OP you cray cray!

Nicknacky · 13/05/2015 10:53

clumsy Say there is 100 children in the nursery on any given day. Then potentially 200 parents can call for updates just because they are paying for it? It's nothing like ordering a coffee.

Or parents can leave the nursery staff to get on with the job that they are paid to do.

fleurdelacourt · 13/05/2015 10:59

ROFL at the idea that getting a half dressed baby back at the end of the day is like being asked to make your own coffee in Costa!!!

Should he have handed the baby back and told them in no uncertain terms that he had paid for a fully dressed baby to be returned to him at 6pm?

CupidStuntSurvivor · 13/05/2015 11:04

I admit, I'm sat laughing my tits off.

OP: AIBU?

MN: Yes, you are.

OP: FUCK OFF! YOU'RE ALL BAD MOTHERS FOR NOT DOING WHAT I DO! BESIDES, HERE'S LOADS OF GAME-CHANGING INFO!

Tsunami feed indeed. Grin

iklboo · 13/05/2015 11:06

Tsunami - or a drip tide? Wink

Mostlyjustaluker · 13/05/2015 11:07

Is anybody else wondering if the original key worker wanted to get out of the baby room for any particular reasons. Wink

CrystalHaze · 13/05/2015 11:08

I wondered that very thing, Mostly. Wink

SideOrderofChips · 13/05/2015 11:10

Got to love a drip feeder

Idontseeanydragons · 13/05/2015 11:14

This is weird..
While there's nothing wrong with a parent calling to see how the child is getting on with a new key worker or in a new room phoning every session would worry me tbh and make me think you are an extremely anxious person.
I've worked with children with very high needs and trust was a huge part of the relationship with the family - a lack of trust in the people you leave your child with can't lead to a good working relationship with the staff.
It could be that the new key worker is trying to encourage you to take a step back and let them do their job full time, the old key worker might not have mentioned that you require detailed information with each phone call or the key worker might have been too busy to do much more than reassure you your DC was having a good day at that point.
YABU really, you need to take a step back sometimes even with your own children and let other people do what they're suppose to do.

ClumsyNinja · 13/05/2015 11:16

Of course it should be compared to Costa or any high street chain.

It's a business charging fees to make a profit. No more, no less.

It's not a play group or pre-school. They are an entirely different entity in comparison.

So, despite it being a money making enterprise, because they are looking after very young children, it's ok to set the bar for service expectation very low? If they're too busy to answer the phone, that's fine?

Really?

The majority of you on this thread astound and depress me with your out of date attitudes to paid childcare.

Pippa12 · 13/05/2015 11:18

I'd name change and put this whole thread behind you if I was you!

ADogCalledLamb · 13/05/2015 11:21

Made my morning Grin

Waltermittythesequel · 13/05/2015 11:21

You're being ridiculous Clumsy.

CoffeeAndBiscuitsPlease · 13/05/2015 11:22

People criticising the daily phonecalls - I don't see a problem with it. The nursery I have just registered my child at told me to call as often as I wanted, and that there will always be someone there to update me as it's just part of the care their offer. As well as uploading photos, videos and milestones to an online profile you can access for your child. A lot of nurseries just see it as part of their job to keep up with parents, even those that want to know daily how their child is doing.

Just mentioned it to a friend who works at another nursery and said they get it everyday and it doesn't bother any of them. they already know how little one is getting on so they update within a minute and are back to what they are doing.