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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be miffed at nursery?

262 replies

mrsnlw2012 · 13/05/2015 09:32

Following on from an earlier thread where DS' keyworker will be swapping rooms with a worker from the toddelr room (who will become his keyworker) she had her first day in the baby room with him yesterday. When I usually call to see how he's getting on I'm told how he is, what he's been upto/ate/drank/slept etc and feel really happy with that. I called yesterday and the new keyworker answered and just said "yep, he's fine" and didnt divulge anything else. I was a bit taken aback and just finished the call. Afterwards I thought "No, I want to know how he is (and book his parents evening)" so I called back to one of the usual workers answered and I got the usual update as to how he had been.

I thought maybe she was just busy and brushed it off. I got home last night and mentioned it it DH who wasn't impressed. He said when he got there, the keyworker was changing DS and handed DS back to DH without any trousers on and handed him the trousers too so DH had to struggle to put them on in the nursery room. Previously when DS had been in the middle of being changed when DH arrives, the keyworker/other workers would dress him fully.

AIBU that Im not happy with this sudden change? Should we just see how it goes or mention something?

OP posts:
sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 13/05/2015 09:53

If there was a problem they'd call you. If you don't feel that would happen why are you paying for your child to go there?
Phoning everytime he attends and expecting a full summary is ridiculously precious are you going to do this when he's at school?

TwinkieTwinkle · 13/05/2015 09:54

I never called my son's nursery, is that strange?

Waltermittythesequel · 13/05/2015 09:54

Charming.

She absolutely did the right thing. Short phone call while at work.

Perhaps she thought that your poor ickle dh was able to dress his own child. Perhaps she thought he'd want to get out quicker with his own child rather than twiddle his thumbs while someone else cares for him.

Perhaps you're a bit high strung and high maintenance and she has the balls not to pander to it

mrsnlw2012 · 13/05/2015 09:55

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

TwinkieTwinkle · 13/05/2015 09:55

You're the woman effing and blinding!

Nicknacky · 13/05/2015 09:56

You are the only one throwing insults about, op. And because the majority don agree with you, then you become abusive. Nice.

sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 13/05/2015 09:56

Another over emotional highly strung response.
Is everything ok in other areas of life?

Waltermittythesequel · 13/05/2015 09:56

Be nice!

NerrSnerr · 13/05/2015 09:57

Um, you're the one swearing at everyone! If you're attitude at the nursery is anything like the attitude on here then they think of you as 'that' parent.

Heels99 · 13/05/2015 09:58

Never called nursery especially for a blow by blow account of the day so far.didn't realise people do this.

The trousers thing is very funny!

CrystalHaze · 13/05/2015 09:58

"Fuck off with the mummy working guilt bullshit. I presume that poster either doesnt work or doesnt give a shit how their child is getting on in the day and just has no thought whatsoever about their child whilst in someone elses care."

Sweetheart, I do work, I run my own business and I haven't had a day or an evening off in months. I fully understand the pressures of being a working parent. And funnily enough I give just as much of a shit about my chidlren as you do about yours. I was actually trying to be helpful and guide you towards reasons why you're chewing yourself in knots over something so incredibly minor. It's a huge over-reaction over nothing, so I presume there are other issues underlying your reaction.

But I see from your vile attitude to not receiving a chorus of approval that you're a living fucking nightmare.

So, a I said earlier, good luck with whatever it is that is bothering you. And maybe think about addressing your vile attitude.

Aeroflotgirl · 13/05/2015 09:58

I know that at my friends nursery the detail is quite extensive in their communication book. I would expect nursery to communicate if there had been an accident. Expecting a long telephone call, when they are mabey looking after 20 other children a bit much, imagine if every parent did this, they would not have the time. I would tell them to put more detail in his book, and give up on the call. If you are that worried that they are not looking after him properly that you need to call, perhaps you need to find another nursery imho.

maroonedwithfour · 13/05/2015 09:58

You all jumped down my throat asking why i call. Perhaps my child has health issues you dont know about. Perhaps the nursery encourage me to call. Perhaps I just call because I am a Mum who loves her son.

Fuck off with the mummy working guilt bullshit. I presume that poster either doesnt work or doesnt give a shit how their child is getting on in the day and just has no thought whatsoever about their child whilst in someone elses care.

Does your child have health issues which require you to call instead of nursery calling you?

Do the nursery encourage you to call everyday?

All 4 of my very much loved children went/are at nursery. I rarley rang as I trusted the staff.

Nope don't give ds much thought when at his fab nursery.

Allinson2014 · 13/05/2015 09:59

It's a good job DH didn't get there any earlier in case he had to change his sons nappy too Shock

AGirlCalledBoB · 13/05/2015 09:59

Hang on a minute you are the one threonine insults and swearing because no body has agreed with you!

CheeseandPickledOnion · 13/05/2015 10:00

You posted in AIBU....

MidniteScribbler · 13/05/2015 10:01

::sits in the corner rocking back and forth:: Please don't send that kid to my school, please don't send that kid to my school.

Original poster
mrsnlw2012 · 13/05/2015 10:01

MY child does have health issues marooned and they do tell me to give them at call in the afternoon to see how he's getting on.

Aero there are a max of 6 babies in the room with 3 workers - often only 4 babies. Im just surprised that the 3 workers that are usually there give the usual response, but this new worker, from a different room within the nursery doesnt offer the same and wodered if I should ask her to give me a bit more info.

OP posts:
Littlef00t · 13/05/2015 10:02

I presume the reason you're not getting so much info etc is because the worker is used to parents of toddlers rather than younger babies.

A baby's parent would want to know a lot more info, as a bad nap, not eaten much, seemed a bit off colour is important to know as you need to be able to interpret how your baby is acting once you're home.

A Toddler on the other hand can talk a bit, more straightforward and parents are more used to nursery so don't expect so much info.

Again with the trousers, probably less worried about making a fantastic impression and busier with smaller ratio, used to handing over to parent when they arrive.

If you want a fuller update, ask for one. You pay them so if you want it, request it.

Trousers wise, I guess it depends on how busy they are, whether technically they are still on the clock, and if it's one of a number of little gripes that have added up. On its own a bit annoying but no more than that.

Original poster
mrsnlw2012 · 13/05/2015 10:02

no bob I am upset because of the nasty replies, assuming I am some clingy mother when all I asked was AIBU in being miffed that my sons care seems to have changed quite a bit - what else has changed i dont know about.

OP posts:
Allinson2014 · 13/05/2015 10:03

OP you didn't say in the original post that your child had other issues. We can only suggest whether YABU or not based on what you tell us.

TwinkieTwinkle · 13/05/2015 10:03

Perhaps you should have mentioned that before now? Instead of expecting us all to look into our crystal balls.

misskatamari · 13/05/2015 10:03

Wowsers at the ops rude response!

Not calling nursery everyday doesn't mean you love your child less ffs!

If dd is off colour, or when she first started, I would give nursery a quick call to check she's okay, and a "Yep she's doing fine" with a brief "she's having a nap/just had a snack" etc was reassuring, but it does seem a bit unreasonable to call everyday. I trust the people I leave my dd with to look after her and call me if there is a problem. If I didn't, I wouldn't leave her there.

The things you have highlighted are minor issues, I would see how things go over the next few days and if they still happen and bother you, then by all means raise it with the nursery. However as you can see from most of the responses here, they are not things that most people would view as problems. Make of that what you will. I would think "maybe I am being a bit unreasonable to be upset about this" but your "fuck you" attitude makes me think that is unlikely

Original poster
mrsnlw2012 · 13/05/2015 10:03

Thanks for your nice reply littlefoot More the type of reply I was expecting... Smile

OP posts:
Waltermittythesequel · 13/05/2015 10:04

That's some drip feed...