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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be miffed at nursery?

262 replies

mrsnlw2012 · 13/05/2015 09:32

Following on from an earlier thread where DS' keyworker will be swapping rooms with a worker from the toddelr room (who will become his keyworker) she had her first day in the baby room with him yesterday. When I usually call to see how he's getting on I'm told how he is, what he's been upto/ate/drank/slept etc and feel really happy with that. I called yesterday and the new keyworker answered and just said "yep, he's fine" and didnt divulge anything else. I was a bit taken aback and just finished the call. Afterwards I thought "No, I want to know how he is (and book his parents evening)" so I called back to one of the usual workers answered and I got the usual update as to how he had been.

I thought maybe she was just busy and brushed it off. I got home last night and mentioned it it DH who wasn't impressed. He said when he got there, the keyworker was changing DS and handed DS back to DH without any trousers on and handed him the trousers too so DH had to struggle to put them on in the nursery room. Previously when DS had been in the middle of being changed when DH arrives, the keyworker/other workers would dress him fully.

AIBU that Im not happy with this sudden change? Should we just see how it goes or mention something?

OP posts:
FrothingAtTheGash · 13/05/2015 10:04

They don't have time to fart about answering calls

AGirlCalledBoB · 13/05/2015 10:05

But one you did not post the full story and second his care has not changed that much. One key worker did not give as much detail as you would like. No big deal, it's her first day in the baby room.

As for the trousers, the fact your oh complained about it says more about him than her in my opinion.

WorraLiberty · 13/05/2015 10:05

MY child does have health issues marooned and they do tell me to give them at call in the afternoon to see how he's getting on.

Help me, I'm drowning in the drip feed...

Toughasoldboots · 13/05/2015 10:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

misskatamari · 13/05/2015 10:07

X-post with update. If nursery encourage you to ring then maybe just ask for a bit more detail if you call again and get the "he's fine" response.

BolshierAyraStark · 13/05/2015 10:07

Love the drip feeding in an attempt to justify your behaviour & insult throwing...

Nicknacky · 13/05/2015 10:08

Why am I slightly sceptical at the drip feeding? I suspect if that was the case then the op would have mentioned it in her op, or her first responses. Instead of swearing at people.

She seemed more concerned about the trouser issue.

maroonedwithfour · 13/05/2015 10:09

Op you drip fed and then were abusive.

ludmiliana · 13/05/2015 10:10

There should be another term for a drip feed that is so massive it fundamentally changes the entire nature of the question being asked.

Like a key change in a Westlife song, when they all get off their stools at the same time.

Griphook · 13/05/2015 10:10

I used to work in a nursey and regarding the trousers, many children haven't seen their parents all day and are quite keen to be held/interact with them and we would assume that the parents felt the same, so I would be keen to hand a child over to their parents Asap so not to delay that and cause any unnecessary distress to the child

The phone calls are a bit over the top and take away from the care the staff are able to give to the children. Whilst it's only a couple of minutes to you, it's very time consuming if every parent expects the same.

PurpleSwift · 13/05/2015 10:11

Fine. So the nursery asks you to call? You did and were told your LO was fine. You're the one with the problem here. And I'm sure your OH is capable of dressing their own child.

strawberry01 · 13/05/2015 10:11

You posted in AIBU and have had a clear YABU response but you can't accept it Grin

When she says "he's fine" you should of just asked "has he napped? Did he eat much lunch?" She's new to the baby room and doesn't know you. If you keep asking these questions when you phone I'm sure she will one day just say "....and he's had X naps and he's ate x food" etc

fleurdelacourt · 13/05/2015 10:12

OP - do calm down a little bit. Your DC's care hasn't changed - just the style of the response on the phone has.

You did ask if you were being unreasonable to discuss this 'sudden change' with the nursery and everyone said that yes that was BU. Surely you have to admit that if that is the consensus, there must be some value to it?

For most of us the daily calls seemed OTT. But if you do have the arrangement with the nursery then perhaps it's not. But expecting a full rundown on the phone in addition to the book (and the parents evening) - that still feels OTT to most of us.

No one has been aggressive to you on here and yet you're F'ing and blinding all over the place. Why?

AuntyMag10 · 13/05/2015 10:12

Op your previous thread about this nursery was that your ds keyworker was moving and all about him missing her. You failed to mention any health issue there.
I think if it really was the issue then you would have mentioned it first. You are just upset because the First kW provided you with all these unnecessary long details and you have come to expect that.

ConnortheMonkey · 13/05/2015 10:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CrystalHaze · 13/05/2015 10:13

Love it, ludmiliana ~ all stand for the drip feed!

So, I'm confused: does the OP phone everyday because she loves her child more than the rest of us neglectful bitches love ours, or because the nursery encourage her to do so due to the recently disclosed health issues?

Nicknacky · 13/05/2015 10:14

And op, to be fair in your original post you were told he was fine but you weren't satisfied by that and phoned back. Which does suggest the phone call is more for your curiosity rather than a necessity iyswim?

WorraLiberty · 13/05/2015 10:14

There should be another term for a drip feed that is so massive it fundamentally changes the entire nature of the question being asked.

Tsunami feed?

Icimoi · 13/05/2015 10:18

When my children were little I worked on the basis that I would have a pleasant debrief/chat with the childminder when I picked them up, but if there was any problem she would of course ring me; it worked very well. It doesn't seem to me that having a chat during the day about "what he's been upto/ate/drank/slept etc" has anything much to do with your ds' health issues, and I assume you do trust the nursery to let you know if his health is a problem, otherwise you wouldn't leave your child with them.

Livvylongpants · 13/05/2015 10:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mermaidhair · 13/05/2015 10:19

Op, I'm trying to understand the trouser issue. Is it because you have paid for care, so you want to get your money's worth? Or is it that your dh is unsure how to dress his baby? I'm trying to understand. You were the very first recipient of my Biscuit award. I was a bit annoyed when you used Jesus name for the wrong reason, not because of your AIBU question.

KittyBennett · 13/05/2015 10:20

I suspect this new key worker has yet to be told that you are a parent who calls and requires x information. If you raise this then am sure the other workers will fill her in on how you are. Your child is obviously still small and you are calling as a worried parent. I would like to think the nursery workers time is spent providing care and not chatting on the phone to parents. A communication book serves this purpose. The care your child receives is not affected by whether she gives a five second or five minute report over the phone. A lot of this as you rightly recognise is your emotional attachment to the departed key worker. You will get used to the new one. She may be different. As for the trousers issue I just don't get it. If your dh is moaning about having to dress his own child how actively is he going to participate in the rest of parenthood??

Koalafications · 13/05/2015 10:20

Confused Your DH can't put his own DS'a trousers on?!

Awaits massive drip feed that the DH has a disability

WhyHaveYouDruggedTheirOnions · 13/05/2015 10:21

OP you are being extremely unpleasant - no one else has sworn or insulted anyone. "Arsehole"? Wtf? You seem to be sadly lacking in manners. I feel sorry for anyone who has to deal with you in RL (including the nursery) if this is how you behave.

zzzzz · 13/05/2015 10:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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