To not have much sympathy for her and think she is being a bit cheeky?

[ApignamedJasper]

DP's ex was messaging him the other day asking him if he can increase the maintainance he pays for his ds because she and her bf are apparently really skint.

Now, don't get me wrong, I have been and still am pretty poor so I get how hard being broke can be however:

She is currently pregnant with her bf's baby - they were actively trying for a baby despite not living in a place big enough for them all to live in and always moaning about not having enough money

DP already pays more than he 'should' in maintainance

Her bf has a pretty good job (20k ish - not loads but a lot where we live)

Aibu to not have much sympathy and think she is being cheeky asking DP to pay her more? She was also complaining that someone has threatened to report her for benefit fraud, she claims tax credits but I'm fairly sure she shouldn't be as her bf works full time and her mother works full time (who lives with them) so their household income is probably too high to be receiving tax credits.

I also doubt she is as skint as she says she is given a few weeks ago she and bf went on a very expensive foreign holiday, I think my definition of skint and hers are quite different!

Aibu and a bit mean or is she bu?

Just to clarify, dp and I don't have children together, I have 2 dc's with exH and he has 1 dc with his ex.

How much does your partner pay towards your children ?

One unavoidable truth is that it's just more expensive to raise a child across two households than one. Rather than mother and father each paying half the rent/mortgage and bills and child costs, they each have to pay a whole rent/mortgage and each have to provide a room for their DC presuming he is spending time at both houses. Running two cars, having two separate holidays, two separate Christmases/birthdays, often needing to provide two of things like bikes etc.

So an NRP is often already paying a lot of these type of fixed costs in order to continue facilitating his own life and contact time with DC that don't magically reduce proportionally depending on how often he has them. Plus as pointed out RP (rightly) gets the tax credits. In short, maintenance isn't the only money an NRP is paying towards his child nor the only money the RP has at their disposal to pay for said child.

I do think the to be of a lot of these posts is quite nasty and unfair, though also think OP is unfair saying RP is being cheeky wanting more.

I do also recognise statistics show loads of NRPs pay nothing, but again that is not the case here.

Googoodolly that's what I was coming back to say.
I have no invested interest in this, I am a single mum who receives less than £,20 per child per week so I an not speaking up in defence of my deadbeat partner who neglects his own kids in favour of mine or whatever.

I just think that not every one has a high earning potential and nrp have to live too.

If the mother is on a low income or not working, she will receive tax credits and housing benefit, regardless of maintenance . So 60 tax credits, 20 contribution from dad, 20 contribution from mum. There is £100 per week to raise a child.