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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU.. Holiday costs? Splitting accommodation dosh.

314 replies

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 02/05/2015 07:12

Here's the deal...

A group of us are going to mainland Europe and hiring a villa in August .

We are two couples (one room each) and a a family with teenage kids (3 rooms).

To get a villa large enough without having to tolerate delightfully messy teenagers sleeping on floor, we've had to go up a price band.

Also the 'family' mum has insisted on an extra room so she can have her old friends that are native to the country to stay an odd few days here and there.. We have never met these people.

We are also travelling in Aug aroubd the kids holidays...we have sucked up the extra cost of travelling at peak time so we can all holiday together.

So we are booking a 6 bedroomed villa.. In August.

we have had a email with our proposed cost per couple/family...the total amount has been divided by 3..AIBU to be Hmm about this?

How would people divide this the most fairly? .. Without being seen as either petty or being taken advantage of..?

OP posts:
Only1scoop · 03/05/2015 09:40

Id go along the lines of Mrs K. The huge difference in school hols and 3 way split for all their extra guests etc....

Charley50 · 03/05/2015 09:44

Yes I agree with Mrs Koala. You don't need to fall out over it, it wasn't booked yet anyway. And as everyone says you would be crazy to pay summer holiday prices anyway, even if the costs were split fairly.
I wouldn't ask the other couple to go away with you, at least just yet, it seems a bit snidey. But if you do, don't go in the school holidays.

I've just backed out of a shared villa holiday; my friends were fine with it.

Redlocks28 · 03/05/2015 10:03

If it's not even booked yet-the villa might be unavailable...

Do it today though. Not fair to keep it hanging on.

SuperFlyHigh · 03/05/2015 10:03

Not booked you say?! Then cancel away.

Only1scoop · 03/05/2015 10:04

Do it quick before bossy books it on your behalf....

And adds on her booking feeWink

Tokelau · 03/05/2015 10:19

If you do go, there are 6 bedrooms, you will use one, therefore you pay one sixth of the cost of the villa, that seems fair to me.

But I would say don't go! It doesn't sound like a great holiday. I wouldn't want to share my holiday accommodation with other people's teenagers, and Bossymum sounds awful, I would be biting my lip all week.

If you don't need to go in school holidays, don't go! The prices seem to double in August. You could go somewhere fantastic mid September for a much better price.

What about food? People have different ideas about what to buy. You could have one couple who don't eat much, and shop very cheaply. Another couple might feel that because they're on holiday, they want luxury, and will want to buy steak, lobster, champagne etc. They are both reasonable ways of doing it, but could cause problems if those people are sharing a villa and food.

I would definitely pull out of this holiday. Can you invent a problem at work so you can't take time off then? Don't be bullied into it by Bossymum! They can still go, but have a smaller villa, it's not your responsibility to subsidise their holiday!

clam · 03/05/2015 11:10

It's pretty late in the day to find a 6 bedroom villa in August that's available. There are plenty shown on websites, but once you start enquiring about them, they're gone.

ZenNudist · 03/05/2015 11:22

If you're still no kids then a hotel holiday would be great. Now I've got dc I can't stand hotels as it's so difficult / expensive to get a suite for 4. Then you can't leave dc at night to go for meal. At least in a villa it's home from home.

What I'm saying us take advantage of being able to go to a nice resort, just couples whilst you can (assuming you want dc at some stage?)

Villa situ sounds worse and worse from your update. See if the other couple want to come on a September holiday with you for much less money after schools go back.

expatinscotland · 03/05/2015 11:50

Back out today! Email along rookie's lines or Koala's. Find something as a couple. Their holiday is not your problem and they haven!5 even booked yet.

Reignbeau · 03/05/2015 11:55

There is not a snowball in hells chance I'd be going on that holiday. I agree you should let both other parties know you are pulling out today and then make your own arrangements to suit you.

bronya · 03/05/2015 11:58

Just say you can't afford it. Simple, inoffensive way out.

rookiemere · 03/05/2015 12:07

Agree with clam - villa may not even still be available.

We've booked 6 bed quite a few times now (3 families, 2 x bedrooms each, costs divided by 3 Grin) and the decent ones go really quickly, even for Scottish school holiday dates in July. If this one is still available, it's likely to have serious flaws i.e. very unequal bedrooms, distance to amenities, price etc. etc.

Anyhow it's all irrelevant as you are not going !

I think it is worth being uber polite about your response - to be fair to them you did agree to the idea in theory ( by the way who brought up the idea of sharing - bet you any amount of money it was them), but you must respond quickly and I would do it by email so there is no room for misunderstanding and other couple is made aware asap. Your DH can follow it up by a call to his mate if he wants - tbh unless his pal is a complete idiot he will have realized that couples don't generally want to go away in the school holidays with teen families and assorted hangers on.

Starlightbright1 · 03/05/2015 12:22

I'd personally back out and rebook elsewhere at a cheaper time.

I am going away with my DS in a caravan for the weekend we have cut coast 50/50 with a couple..same anoutn DS entertainment pass is cheaper I am a single mum .

Take yourself out of peak season it will not only be cheaper but quieter . Do it sooner rather than later.

Original poster
IamtheDevilsAvocado · 03/05/2015 12:29

Thanks for all your detailed replies!

Well sent the mail - I've used bits from different folks ideas... I didn't want to lie.

Along tje lines of (Dont want to out myself)

Dear Bossy

Was chatting to OH this morning {.. . neither of us like you much or like your greedy don't behaviour) .. Appreciate the invite and all your work..{wait as I light blue touch paper), But think it's only fair that we back out now, as we don't want to let you down at last minute. {also we are having anticipatory PTSD at the cost/likelihood of us being your unpaid kitchen slaves for your expensive holiday we are subsidising}.

As you know, OH and I been saving for house and we need to have a cheaper break! We knew when we chatted about holidaying together earlier in year, it would be a bit more expensive in Aug, but not realised til your final sums just how much more expensive it was going to be! We think that just with food and car hire let alone trips out and about, it will be double our normal total spend. We cant see how we could spend this much even if we could re-jig figures!

Sorry to pulling out - hope you have a fun holiday!

Iamthedevilsavocado

OP posts:
rookiemere · 03/05/2015 12:32

That's a good email avocado although I'd be lying if I didn't say I was looking forward to bossy mums response!
Have you copied in the other friends as well?

Original poster
IamtheDevilsAvocado · 03/05/2015 12:35

Meant son 's greedy behaviour...

We've included the other couple... Who we are quite close to... Am quite worried as whilst I dobt mind offending Bossy we would like to continue our friendship wirh lovely OH. We don't know if he had any hand in this... My gut feeling is she was pissed and sent the mail when she was working... It really.doesnt feel his style.. Here's hoping!

We're waiting replies... Oh gawd!

Why do i feel so guilty?? I really shouldn't... I. Would be feeling more guilty letting my already worked to the bone OH trying to work enough to re build our deposit pot...

OP posts:
WildFlowersAttractBees · 03/05/2015 12:37

Well done OP. Hope her response is reasonable!

Starlightbright1 · 03/05/2015 12:42

well done.. sounds a nice email...

You feel guilty because you are a nice person. I suspect when you are on your other holiday you will know it

Patsyandeddie · 03/05/2015 12:42

Divide by the number of people, including the teenagers and just pay for two, it's the only fair way!

Roussette · 03/05/2015 12:43

You've been extremely kind. You are almost blaming yourself for not realising how much it would be, when in fact it's because she has unfairly loaded it to her advantage so really nothing to do with not knowing how much it would be IYSWIM.

expatinscotland · 03/05/2015 12:47

At least you pulled out. That's the main thing. Do not let them guilt you.

Original poster
IamtheDevilsAvocado · 03/05/2015 12:54

Actually the more I've thought about it the moreConfused I am and actually royally pissed off that she either didn't think it through OR was just trying it on.

I suppose I'm fairly laid back... But if I was using a more 'obvious' share of the villa I'd be bending over backwards to ensure it was fair and no one felt they were being ripped off!

Yes it was her who suggested it... And suggested all sharing... As it would be fun...

OP posts:
WienerDiva · 03/05/2015 12:55

Your email was fine. And you've absolutely done the right thing by pulling out now.

I'm really just adding my two pence so I can lurk and find out her reply!

Libitina · 03/05/2015 13:01

I think you did the right thing in pulling out, but I also think you should have been firmer in telling her it's because she is taking the piss in costs.

Go book yourself a lovely holiday elsewhere. Oh, and keep us updated when she replies Wink

rookiemere · 03/05/2015 13:02

Betcha she comes back and suggests a more equitable split of the costings.

If she does then I'd say something like "Yes we were a bit surprised you'd split it 3 ways when you were going to be using 4 of the 6 bedrooms, but even if it's split more fairly, it's still a lot more than we have available for a holiday." You could then add in things like not feeling comfortable sharing with people you don't know - oh and odds on they'd be there for the whole week, not just a night or so, why else would they have got their very own bedroom?

Anyway you dodged a bullet,keep us updated Grin.

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