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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU.. Holiday costs? Splitting accommodation dosh.

314 replies

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 02/05/2015 07:12

Here's the deal...

A group of us are going to mainland Europe and hiring a villa in August .

We are two couples (one room each) and a a family with teenage kids (3 rooms).

To get a villa large enough without having to tolerate delightfully messy teenagers sleeping on floor, we've had to go up a price band.

Also the 'family' mum has insisted on an extra room so she can have her old friends that are native to the country to stay an odd few days here and there.. We have never met these people.

We are also travelling in Aug aroubd the kids holidays...we have sucked up the extra cost of travelling at peak time so we can all holiday together.

So we are booking a 6 bedroomed villa.. In August.

we have had a email with our proposed cost per couple/family...the total amount has been divided by 3..AIBU to be Hmm about this?

How would people divide this the most fairly? .. Without being seen as either petty or being taken advantage of..?

OP posts:
Snoopedontoo · 02/05/2015 07:41

Iamthedevil , you are not being petty. Tbh I would seriously rethink this holiday if you are not prepared to speak up. We go with family and we enjoy but there are issues too. Last summer I found myself babysitting every afternoon whilst parents of baby went swimming as I liked to read in the house for a while. I didn't mind per se but found it was expected after a couple of days. Also my dh was always the one who did the big supermarket shopping . But we always made sure we covered the cost of our teens food, ds would clear the morning shop of fresh baked goodies . How are you with dealing with mess in living area and kitchen . Is the villa booked already

namechange0dq8 · 02/05/2015 07:42

If you're mug enough to go on holiday with other people's teenagers, you're mug enough to pay over the odds for it.

I wouldn't take this holiday for free, never mind subsidising other people. And strangers staying the night? WTAF?

namechange0dq8 · 02/05/2015 07:44

Actually I was beginning to think about how much cheaper it may be in a hotel... (not for the family tho..

And that's your problem because...?

And if you don't like the mother, who's likely to be the main influence over the teenagers, that's even more of a recipe for disaster.

Snoopedontoo · 02/05/2015 07:46

Assuming a 6 bed villa is going to cost in region of 5k for 2 weeks although I suspect more they want you to pay an extra 555 so they are therefore saving 1100 by getting the 2 childless couples to stump up. Clever eh ?

RooftopCat · 02/05/2015 07:47

We've done this with friends.
Toddlers go free, once the child is 5 they pay half ( generally the kids are in proper beds in proper rooms by then).
Everyone is charged for each night they stay (we sometimes have people coming for the weekend only)
Food is paid for by whoever during the stay then at the end the total is split as above.
A spreadsheet is involved!

It's mad to get an extra room in peak holiday season for this extra couple - maybe suggest a 5 bed villa with sleeping in the lounge and get the teenagers to kip there on the nights involved. At the same time suggest a re-jig of the costs otherwise it will spoil your holiday.

GottaFeeling · 02/05/2015 07:48

The only way to go away with people you like, never mine those you're a bit mweh about is to book your own accommodation. So, rather than a villa for all of you, you each book an apartment in the same complex.

If you do this the way it's proposed, you won't be friends when you get back.

If I were daft enough to do it, I'd suggest the family pay 50% and the couples 25% each, which is still a good deal for the family. For food I'd expect each person (including the teens) to be responsible for one or two day's food according to how long you're staying.

Drink, I'd expect it to be done by feel, those who know they drink more buy more. However, that assumes everyone wants to pay their share. With my friends any "arguments" are far more likely to be because someone thinks they haven't paid enough than because they think they're being asked to pay too much.

I agree with those who say you should pull out.

BinarySolo · 02/05/2015 07:49

Definitely sort this ASAP. What do the other couple think?

FunkyPeacock · 02/05/2015 07:49

Since you don't all have children then I think it would be fairest to divide by the number of people on the holiday - so assuming the family consist of 4 people - you & other couple would pay 1/4 each and the family would pay the other 1/2

If you all had kids then I would just suggest splitting it 3 ways but this doesn't seem fair in this case

NaiceVillageOfTheDammed · 02/05/2015 07:49

Don't go.

The family are pisstakers.

You and the other couple are subsidising their holiday.

Pull out now if you don't want to feel awkward/resent the holiday.

Or, send an email to all recalculating the costs based on bedrooms.

Or, try to find a separate villa near by.

Binkybix · 02/05/2015 07:51

Gosh - I'm annoyed at DH's friends because they requested one extra room for their child and don't want to pay for it. In your position I'd be hopping mad!!

Original poster
IamtheDevilsAvocado · 02/05/2015 07:52

Ehric - not booked yet... Needed to be done by Tuesday - it was the family who instigated the holiday/booking..

I'll wait to DH awakes from his beauty sleep and seriously chat about this..

.it's already starting mounting up before we arrive. Having been assured this place was close to transport links.. Now looks as because of our flight arrival time we will have to taxi it ... For 60-70 mile trip to villa..cant imagine much less than £100..plus all our other costs.. Food /entertainment..

Oh yes Sorry to dripfeed - forgot to say - also in said email also a few days hire of people carrier was mentioned... I was a bit Shockat, as we were intending reading and hanging out around pool..

Will be grim detonating that piece of news.. I suspect if we pull out, they will have to change the villa/perhaps area..

OP posts:
lastnightiwenttomanderley · 02/05/2015 07:55

We did this a lot with godparents when we wete growing up. We were a family of 4 as were they, so easy to split 50:50.

Personally I agree on the cost per bedroom idea. Much fairer! (teens are adults if you use a package deal as a reference). Your hotel analogy is spot on - they are effectively expecting you to subsidise their holiday!

The argument about living space is a red herring in my opinion. Any six bed villa has a lot more communal space than.a one or two bed in my opinion.

alwayshavepeckham · 02/05/2015 07:55

THB I barely want to go on holiday with my own teens, never mind somebody else's. Grin
Not sure why you should sub their villa costs.
Please think carefully before you commit.

NaiceVillageOfTheDammed · 02/05/2015 07:56

There's nothing wrong in telling them that you can't afford it.

lastnightiwenttomanderley · 02/05/2015 07:57

In fairness, if SC I would normally expect to.add car hirs unless in a city. Anywhere relaxing normally requires trips to supermarket, maybe a restaurant further afield, a local village etc. Depends on.specific location though. And two small cars may be much cheaper, even factoring petrol in.

BinarySolo · 02/05/2015 07:58

The family seem to be moving the goal posts. Maybe they've decided they can afford to splash out more since their holiday is being part funded by you and the other couple.

sooperdooper · 02/05/2015 07:59

Suggest that the friends staying for one night can book their own hotel!

I agree with everyone else that they're generally taking the piss - also it doesn't have to be sorted by Tuesday just because they say so, there's plenty of villas available, a lot closer to the airport to save £££ on taxis too!

Original poster
IamtheDevilsAvocado · 02/05/2015 08:00

I really hope this wasn't a pisstake from the family... But...

I am hoping it was thoughtlessness and not thinking it through..

OP posts:
FunkyPeacock · 02/05/2015 08:00

Having read the full thread I absolutely wouldn't go on this holiday - you will regret it! If you and the other couple pay a third each for the villa then it is very likely you will be expected to pay a third of food & drink etc etc ....They are taking the piss!

I don't agree with those saying never holiday with another family but I think it only works if you are all in similar circumstances - eg kids of similar age. If I didn't have my own kids there is no way I would go on a holiday with 3 teens!!

rookiemere · 02/05/2015 08:00

Don't go. It sounds awful. Costs should be split by room but that's nothing compared to the minefield of grocery shopping and splitting meals with someone who has already proved themselves to be a mickey taker.
Bet they suggest meals out are split 3 ways forgetting that they are double your number, and don't forget clearing up and housework,again a nightmare with non contributing teens.
We do shared holidays and they're hard even with people you like,this sounds like a nightmare

You've got a chance to escape go for it.

RooftopCat · 02/05/2015 08:03

The costs have been sent out by e-mail so that makes it easier to go back and query it (no awkward conversation involved).

I agree 2 cars make more sense. You may not want to all do the same things each day. You could hire the cars from the airport.

Shakey1500 · 02/05/2015 08:04

It might be grim giving the news but better that than forking out a load of dosh unfairly! I also think it's a major piss take and unless it's divided fairly, I'd be pulling out pronto.

LIZS · 02/05/2015 08:05

Pull out now. Tell them to organise own accommodation and you/other couple will find somewhere nearby to suit your needs and budget. What does other couple think? Sounds like you gave differing ideas of a holiday which will only deepen.

Blueandwhitelover · 02/05/2015 08:07

You are subsidising their holiday! It s madness that they expect to get away with it. Pull out now!

KoalaDownUnder · 02/05/2015 08:09

It doesn't matter if it was a deliberate piss-take or they're just being obtuse. It's totally unfair to you, and I suspect that constantly watching out for rip-offs will spoil your holiday (it would mine).

They are thoughtless at best, and opportunists at worst.

So glad to see it's not booked yet - eject, eject, eject!

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