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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU.. Holiday costs? Splitting accommodation dosh.

314 replies

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 02/05/2015 07:12

Here's the deal...

A group of us are going to mainland Europe and hiring a villa in August .

We are two couples (one room each) and a a family with teenage kids (3 rooms).

To get a villa large enough without having to tolerate delightfully messy teenagers sleeping on floor, we've had to go up a price band.

Also the 'family' mum has insisted on an extra room so she can have her old friends that are native to the country to stay an odd few days here and there.. We have never met these people.

We are also travelling in Aug aroubd the kids holidays...we have sucked up the extra cost of travelling at peak time so we can all holiday together.

So we are booking a 6 bedroomed villa.. In August.

we have had a email with our proposed cost per couple/family...the total amount has been divided by 3..AIBU to be Hmm about this?

How would people divide this the most fairly? .. Without being seen as either petty or being taken advantage of..?

OP posts:
AuditAngel · 04/05/2015 15:45

We had a fantastic holiday with a different BIL and family. We had adjacent houses (timeshare) so we each had our own space. Went out together most, but not all, of the time. We shared some meals, carrying chairs between the 2 houses. We paid when we hosted and vice versa, but we each hosted 2 main meals, so fair.

But at the time we were 2 adults plus children 6 months, 4 and 6, they were 2 adults plus children 5 and 8, so fairly well matched. Plus we knew the children all get along, sometimes splitting boys/girls, sometimes older 2/younger 2.

I think the main thing is to know what you are getting into, know how costs will be split.

WonderingWillow · 04/05/2015 15:54

Glad you pulled out OP, the whole thing sounds nightmarish! You would have ended up seriously out of pocket and funding their dream holiday.

ChopOrNot · 04/05/2015 17:36

OP, I think you need to take a deep breath now and let it go. You have made a wise decision pulling out - but so far you only have proof that they had not thought through the costs through fairly.

So far they have been thoughtless. Not necessarily malicious. Some people just do not have the capacity to see things from someone else's perspective. They have a family of teens and are used to paying for multiple roomed villas. In peak season. Just because that would have resulted in you being hugely out of pocket does not, with the evidence to hand, mean that "Villazilla" is evil, malicious, out to rip you off. Thoughtless yes. You do not have to turn her into an evil witch to justify your decision, so please do not lower yourself to that.

Be grateful for your escape. Book yourself something lovely, off peak, in budget, with your DP and have a wonderful time without dwelling on this. Flowers

MrsKoala · 04/05/2015 19:44

It's good you've pulled out OP. I must say I feel a little sorry for bossymum now. Obviously the way the cost was split was unfair and a pisstake, but you really don't seem to like her or her children at all so why on earth did you say you would go on hol with them?

Apart from the cost of the holiday split, she sounds just like me - can happily sink a bottle of wine, have a messy house, oh can be found in the shop in the booze aisle often etc - She is probably labouring under the impression you are her friend, as that's who people normally agree to go on holiday with. I think you should do both of you a favour and not see her anymore.

I'd hate to go on holiday with someone who I thought would be counting every glass of wine I had and slagging me off about it. But then I'm a massive lush.

Only1scoop · 04/05/2015 21:07

I actually don't have a clue why you would have booked this in the first place. You only seem to like her OH.

YonicScrewdriver · 04/05/2015 21:18

I wonder if villazilla wanted to not go ahead and so did an outrageous holiday quote....

Anyway, I don't think you can absolve your friend as he presumably looked at the price and chatted with her before the email went.

Hissy · 04/05/2015 22:06

At this rate VillaZilla will more likely be Tentzillla...

Stitchintime1 · 05/05/2015 06:33

Is that long riff about their behaviour based on how you think they might have behaved if you had gone ahead? Or how they do behave?

Only1scoop · 05/05/2015 07:43

I wondered that also?

MrsKoala · 05/05/2015 08:14

I thought it was a mash-up of others stories on here = Outrage by proxy ( - my favourite kind Grin )

Littlef00t · 05/05/2015 08:51

I do think it's worth getting back in touch with the other couple to see if you can arrange a nice off season little place for the two couples

Only1scoop · 05/05/2015 09:05

I know I thought for a moment they had been and come back....

Only1scoop · 05/05/2015 09:06

Outrage by proxy Grin

MrsKoala · 05/05/2015 09:22

Or it's relative - indignation twice removed Grin

Original poster
IamtheDevilsAvocado · 06/05/2015 16:25

No I was just riffing on a theme..
As I was allowing myself to be angry.

Yes understood re may be thoughtless of bossy rather than malicious.

When we agreed, in outline,to this I was seeing it as 4 out of 5 people I get on well with and their teenagers, as was my OH... The teenagers probably had little impact on our decision... Assuming they would be off doing their own thing. (perhaps wrongly!)

We saw nice other couple...they too have pulled out.. Seems our withdrawal plus the deposit that was due by last night focused their thinking on what they wanted to do. Seems bossy still wanted to go ahead with the same villa. Seems she was proposing that they mopped up the extra cost between them. Understandably, however this was divided, it was going to make a bloody expensive holiday.

So we may do a hopefully less hassle hotel holiday in autumn.

Sorry for those who would have liked a bossys holiday from hell threadWink.

OP posts:
NotActuallyAMum · 06/05/2015 16:58

OP as someone who is happily child free I'm genuinely interested in why on earth you would want to go on holiday with someone else's teenagers

I'd rather use my tits to put fires out...

NotActuallyAMum · 06/05/2015 17:02

Glad you got it sorted though, definitely the right decision

Original poster
IamtheDevilsAvocado · 06/05/2015 17:07

Ah but it's the parents whole company we enjoyed...

Now we be thought a bit more about teenagers likely behaviour... Seems we weren't giving this enough weight!

OP posts:
Redlocks28 · 06/05/2015 17:09

I'm glad you've got it sorted!

A few questions for us nosy types!

  1. Have you heard back from bossy-did she reply to your email?
  2. Did bossy moan about you to the other couple?
  3. How much of the cost of the 6 bedroom house were they asking the other couple to stump up!?
abigamarone · 06/05/2015 17:09

I adore my teenagers, lovely easygoing boys the pair of them. We only went away for a few days last year, I booked a separate room for them. I'd love for the 18-year-old to come with us this year but am looking at booking a separate studio for them so I can be on my own. I'd sooner chew my arm off than share with other people's.

YonicScrewdriver · 06/05/2015 17:44

Glad the others have saved themselves too.

expatinscotland · 06/05/2015 17:52

'Seems she was proposing that they mopped up the extra cost between them.'

She was still chancing her arm.

YonicScrewdriver · 06/05/2015 18:02

Yy expat.

FishWithABicycle · 06/05/2015 18:13

What so she reckoned the other couple would pay half for use of one room in a 6 bed villa. Wow.

Redlocks28 · 06/05/2015 18:17

Do you reckon they have pulled out of the villa altogether now they've got to pay for it all!?

Look it up online and see if it's still available!?