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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU.. Holiday costs? Splitting accommodation dosh.

314 replies

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 02/05/2015 07:12

Here's the deal...

A group of us are going to mainland Europe and hiring a villa in August .

We are two couples (one room each) and a a family with teenage kids (3 rooms).

To get a villa large enough without having to tolerate delightfully messy teenagers sleeping on floor, we've had to go up a price band.

Also the 'family' mum has insisted on an extra room so she can have her old friends that are native to the country to stay an odd few days here and there.. We have never met these people.

We are also travelling in Aug aroubd the kids holidays...we have sucked up the extra cost of travelling at peak time so we can all holiday together.

So we are booking a 6 bedroomed villa.. In August.

we have had a email with our proposed cost per couple/family...the total amount has been divided by 3..AIBU to be Hmm about this?

How would people divide this the most fairly? .. Without being seen as either petty or being taken advantage of..?

OP posts:
calzone · 02/05/2015 10:31

Oh wow!

Go and wake your DH now and tell him you have to pull out!

With all due respect, why would anyone go on holiday in August at exorbitant prices, if they didn't have to! With someone else's teens? ConfusedConfusedConfused

Run!! Run for the hills!

And book a last minute holiday for the 2 of you in October. Smile

QOD · 02/05/2015 10:34

Ugh. Suddenly you can't get that week off Wink

Marynary · 02/05/2015 10:35

Yes you are also paying much more because they have children and the holiday will be in August. You would be able to book something for much less at the beginning of July. This family are going to cost you a fortune. I would avoid the whole thing.

EveryPenny1 · 02/05/2015 10:36

You say you have had to book a villa in the next band up to suit the family - to me the family should be paying that aditional cost. The two couples pay one third each of the price of the lower band villa and the family pay the rest.

On the other hand if you can cancel just do that!!!

YoniMitchell · 02/05/2015 10:44

Surely you'd be bonkers to want to go away with another family's teens and during the school holidays if you didn't have to anyway, let alone with these cheeky sods expecting you to subsides them and their friends.

I'd just tell them that with all these changes the holiday is no longer what you'd really go for so thanks but you'll probably just go away on your own.

Be strong!

YoniMitchell · 02/05/2015 10:45

Subsides?! Subsidise!

lostincumbria · 02/05/2015 10:46

Sounds like a nightmare. If you're still going, I don't think you can ignore that you all have to cover the shared living space. I'd split it like this, if the cost was £3000 for example:

Split the overall figure in half - one half covers shared areas, the other bedrooms.

Divide the shared space by the 3 families, so £500 each. Then split the remainder by number of rooms - so six would be £250 per room.

Each family pays their third of living space plus their bedrooms - so £750 for you, £1500 for the cheeky bint.

Can't be fairer than that.

Redlocks28 · 02/05/2015 10:51

Are they friends or family? What about the other couple?

Honestly-it sounds a very expensive nightmare! Would a people carrier even fit all of you in?

I think the accommodation is going to seem cheap compared to the food and drink!

pluCaChange · 02/05/2015 10:55

I can't decide which is the worst:

  1. extra room that only they want to make use of, but only on a few nights, so it becomes "invisible" as an item yet is all-too-present on the bill
  2. a room each per teenager, meaning a total 3/4 more space (remember the "guest bedroom!") than any other family unit occupies, when they only need to occupy twice the rooms any other family unit does... yet want to pay the same villa rent as those who get one room (not even taking into account the premium on a larger villa)
  3. They want the cheap use of a more comfortable car whose expeditions they will dominate by virtue of being the biggest "voting bloc". Fuel costs will also be more... fluid in one tank, too...
  4. What their attitude above will mean for food (and drink) bill splitting, too... Not to mention tidying/cleaning rotas.

Present all that to the other couple.

Together, you can tell the family you can't afford it, but the family will be "so much better off, too, in a smaller villa with a smaller car because they won't need the extra space for four "extra" people..." Grin

Trills · 02/05/2015 11:04

Lots of maths here but the summary is

NOBODY THINKS YOU SHOULD PAY 1/3

It surely cannot be sheer brainlessness that led them to suggest you should.

They cannot possibly be that oblivious.

RaggyAnnie · 02/05/2015 11:14

Don't go. The money issues will continue throughout the holiday, you will come back broke without having had a worthwhile break and will probably want to lose all contact with them when you return.

expatinscotland · 02/05/2015 11:14

Do not go on holiday with these pisstakers. This is what they are, not pals, because friends don't take advantage of their friends like this. Would you? No, well, why stand for it.

'This doesn't work for us, we are pulling out.'

If you have already booked it, then email is a great way to set out very stern ground rules: NO splitting three ways, on anything. Pay by room, the SC, you buy your own shit, hire your own car and you have learned a very valuable lesson, never go on holiday en masse like this.

But I'd just pull out, tbh, even if I lost money. I hate pisstakers like this. The boil my piss and I wouldn't enjoy a holiday with people who even suggested this because they know they are pisstaking.

AdeleDazeem · 02/05/2015 11:20

I get the original idea; the cost per head goes down with a larger group of people. Thing is, that's only the case if costs are split fairly! It's the essential part of the logic.

If Couple 1 pay a 1/3, Couple 2 pay 1/3 and Family of 4 (plus extra bedroom for occasional guests) pay 1/3 then the cost per person is increased exponentially for the two couples (and obviously lowered substantially for the family). Going by the complete guess of the villa costing £6k, both couples are paying £1,000 per person while the family pays just £400 per person. Hmm

If you're going to pay a thousand quid just for the accommodation part of your holiday you could probably afford an all inclusive spa holiday in the Carribean for you and DH for what you're being expected to pay here.

RoosterCogburnIsInTheJakes · 02/05/2015 11:22

Don't go.
If they are taking the piss how before you've even booked imagine how much worse they will be when you are actually there
You will end up spending your holiday feeling resentful and bitter rather than relaxed and carefree.

wowfudge · 02/05/2015 11:26

Agree you need to get together - if practical - and discuss. Splitting the cost equally three ways is bonkers and the verdict has been unanimous that you shouldn't pay a third and why would you?

One of the best bits about holidays when we were growing up was sharing a room as we didn't at home so I fail to comprehend why two teenagers need separate rooms anyway, but you are all expected to share the cost? Nuts.

I am wondering whether they have spotted a really lovely place which is bigger than is actually needed and beyond their means if the costs were split fairly and that is why a three way split is being suggested.

Just be upfront and say the accommodation costs seem to spiralling unnecessarily.

As for hiring a people carrier - might seem sensible for a large group, but two or even three smaller cars would give everyone more flexibility.

GloGirl · 02/05/2015 11:27

I've changed my mind.

You should go

We can all enjoy your live holiday from hell thread. Befriend a feral cat for us whilst you're there please! Grin

ijustwanttobeme · 02/05/2015 11:35

Agree with others who have said to split the cost 9 ways.

A few years back we (DP,DD, DS and myself) considered a villa in Turkey. DSS and his GF wanted to join us, so we looked for a bigger place, so then we asked DSD if she wanted to come with her DD.

When we found a place large enough, we split the cost between 7 of us.

Food both at the villa and eating out, was done in a similar fashion.

Songofsixpence · 02/05/2015 11:39

I'd be backing out right now. If they're piss taking over accommodation before it's even booked, then I dread to think what it would be like when food/drinks/etc are involved. You'll end up resenting them the whole time you're away and it'll ruin the holiday you're paying more than your fair share for

No way should it be split as 1/3 each. I'd email back that the total cost should be split into number of rooms and as 2/3s of the rooms are for their use they can pay 2/3s and you and the other couple split the other 1/3 between you.

We went away with some friends a couple of years ago. Nightmare from booking until the return flight and our friendship has never really fully recovered. Never again, at least not without setting out who pays what etc first.

expatinscotland · 02/05/2015 11:47

A holiday is supposed to be fun, not a meeting like work because of one pair of pisstakers trying to get everyone else to subsidise their bullshit.

Fuck that.

If all you will lose is the deposit, then pull out now. Fuck them, seriously.

They are wankers, not friends.

ScorpioMermaid · 02/05/2015 11:50

YANBU
thats ridiculous. even the food. I'd pay for my own.
We have 8 children and if we share accommodation We always split it fairly. I wouldn't dream of other people paying more than they should to cover cost for my family. no way.

expatinscotland · 02/05/2015 12:00

Since the OP said, 'are booking', however, I'd back out right now.

I'd tell them the truth of why, that I cannot believe they are suggesting a three-way split of any kind, I feel taken advantage of considering I went along with a higher price to accommodate their children so I would be not coming on holiday anymore.

blushingbooty · 02/05/2015 12:00

Don't go. IT's wildly changed in price, location and description for what you agreed too. Write back now and state this and look for a little room somewhere else or get 2 smaller villas- one for you and other couple and one for them.

Marynary · 02/05/2015 12:03

It might actually work out cheaper for you if you and the other couple book a two bedroom villa and the family book their own four bedroom one. It will mean that you can still have a holiday with your friends but also have more flexibility and won't feel taken advantage of.

Inertia · 02/05/2015 12:05

Get 2 villas - you and the other couple split accommodation and food costs 50/50, and the other family pay for their mansion and assorted hangers on.

expatinscotland · 02/05/2015 12:06

'Ehric - not booked yet... Needed to be done by Tuesday - it was the family who instigated the holiday/booking..'

No shit! Just tell your DP you are not going.