AIBU.. Holiday costs? Splitting accommodation dosh.

[IamtheDevilsAvocado]

Here's the deal...

A group of us are going to mainland Europe and hiring a villa in August .

We are two couples (one room each) and a a family with teenage kids (3 rooms).

To get a villa large enough without having to tolerate delightfully messy teenagers sleeping on floor, we've had to go up a price band.

Also the 'family' mum has insisted on an extra room so she can have her old friends that are native to the country to stay an odd few days here and there.. We have never met these people.

We are also travelling in Aug aroubd the kids holidays...we have sucked up the extra cost of travelling at peak time so we can all holiday together.

So we are booking a 6 bedroomed villa.. In August.

we have had a email with our proposed cost per couple/family...the total amount has been divided by 3..AIBU to be about this?

How would people divide this the most fairly? .. Without being seen as either petty or being taken advantage of..?

Email family mum (cc: all) and say you've not been on holiday with a family before - how do you normally split the food costs etc? We wouldn't want any awkwardness on holiday...

They may be used to sharing with other families and splitting the cost by number of family units made sense. Family mum may not have thought it through (rather than taking the piss).

You're already having serious misgivings and there's time to remedy those by pulling out now. Imagine spending all that money and not having a good time, or having your valuable holiday time spoilt by an individual who might be tricky?

I wouldn't go on holiday with friends and stay in the same property. We've had great holidays where other families were in the same area and we linked up every few days and had a lovely time, but staying in the same place, not for me. I value my holiday lie ins and our own schedule.

You're worried about the accommodation, meals, transfers and car hire and it won't end there...

Maybe suggest you all go to the same location but sort own accom / cars?

I wouldn't go during August as probably overly expensive anyway. Can't you just go with other couple?

I think the family having their friends to stay should pay a bigger share.

It's not booked yet. So just email back and say that it's not going to work for you, on reflection you would like to holiday as a couple and you've decided not to go. Don't negotiate or be swayed because if you go on this it will be a bloody nightmare. That email is your warning.

It's not until August. They've got loads of time to book a smaller villa, or do whatever they want really, it's only May now!
Simple.

Just joining the chorus of 'Don't go' . It's very fortunate that you have not paid the deposit yet. We have spent many holidays with groups of friends and always divided costs per couple. On one holiday where we had hired a large ancient villa in Tuscany, the description of the rooms we received in advance showed such variation that a pre holiday lunch was convened and lots drawn to prevent any unseemly scrambles to get there first and bag the best.

I love to work in £££££'s

So let's say the villa is £6,000

The was bossymum sees it every family Pays £2,000

The way the majority see it is 50:25:25

So Bossymum pays £3,000 and you and other couple pay £1500 each. You can get a lot of food for your saved £500.

Now look at it this way. Bossymum has three teens. My preteen eats more than me so for the sake of argument let's call them mini adults.

So 9 people go to the villa. That's £6000 divided by 9 = £666

So 5 x666= £3333

So you pay £1332 as do the other couple.

Seen In black and white you can suddenly do a lot more with £668

Don't let bossymum browbeat into subsiding her holiday.

What are the other couple saying about this?

I'd be saying to them. Hey do you realise if the cost was split per person we could save over £600 per couple.

I've just found a holiday on sunshine.co.uk in mid sept, 4 star hotel , half board, swimming pool, spa decent flight times £450 each for a week.

Might be Your idea of hell I don't know, but if all your wanting is sunshine and a laze by the pool then you've got it in spades

What country is this holiday taking place in op

Are you close to the other couple? Worth getting their view? It might be easier if you either send one email from you and other couple or co-ordinate emails to say the same thing so that the bossy woman can't try to divide and rule.

Pull out! Pull out AND PULL OUT NOW!

Going away with others will involve compromise. I think 50 25 25 split us fair.

I do think these types of holidays are often false economy.

It is highly unlikely that the teens will pull their weight.

I wouldn't share a villa with another family. Have been
On holidays with other families but always in a hotel or complex with separate accommodation.

Split it by room. We have a small baby, so I'd be annoyed if it was split by person given no extra room costs.

Reply saying you agreed based in the cost per person, no car etc so you can't go now. No battering for your fair share easier to say no now

I'd split by number of rooms.

I don't think you can expect them to suck up the extra cost of peak season/next price bracket as that is a "known" - as in information you've always had.

Since you haven't booked I'd either say "sorry no, working out more expensive than though" or suggest you get a villa with the other couple, the family get one nearby - no-one then has to go in next price bracket & costs are split more fairly.

Say no now and choose your own place.

If you do go, split the costs per person or per room and be very very clear re the food and drink costs.

I do group holidays with other families at least twice a year. we always amicably agree a split, which would typically be as:
Accommodation split per room, but weighted slightly by up to 10% up or down if a room is significantly bigger or smaller or if some rooms end suite and others not.
Food and non alcohol drink cost split as: anyone over age 12 counts as 1, anyone aged 1-12 counts as 0.5. Under 1s free or 0.25 depending on whether they are being fed scraps from parents' plates or Ella's kitchen organic pouches.
Booze costs split between drinkers.

it is not unreasonable to make sure the split is agreed before committing to this holiday. Do not stay quiet. Say explicitly that you don't feel comfortable agreeing to this booking until a fair way of splitting costs between families is sorted.

If you plan to avoid a friendship breakdown by sucking the cost up you are probably wasting your time as I cannot see the holiday running smoothly with the lady with the most to gain planning and spending your money.

What a nightmare. As someone else has suggested I would say that you would be willing to pay a third of the cost of a three bedroom villa (and give average price if possible) but not a third of the cost of this six bedroom villa and then see what they come back with.

I don't think this holiday is going to go well though as you will have the same problem with food and everything else once you get there. We only ever share expenses with families the same size as ours as then everything can easily be split evenly and fairly without hassle. Otherwise I prefer to keep things separate.

Echoing others, run away quickly.

"Dear friend, thanks for your email. Having worked out the ever changing costs I'm sorry to say that this break no longer fits with our budget. We hope you have a great time and enjoy the sun
Devils"

Wow fish with a bicycle ...which mathematical genius came up with that formula?

Am well impressed ;-)

I don't think there is a benefit of the doubt here. No decent person would think they were entitled to 4 bedrooms for the price of 1. Don't go and don't feel bad at all. Say this will be substantially more expensive than going alone and you can't afford it.

How many teenage kids do they have? If its only 2 they can share a twin room on holiday (even if boy/girl) my niece and nephew shared when they were 14 and 16 and SIL insisted they paid for 2 rooms.

ds was only 5 so shared the room with us and we offered but everyone agreed we didn't pay for him in the villa, but put in full whack for in for him in the food/drink kitty (even though he obviously wasn't drinking).

The room for their visitors is a extravagance and if they want it they pay for it.

Split by room. They want 2 additional rooms they don't need, no way should you be subsidising them.

If they haven't mentioned at all how much of the villa they will be occupy over and above the other couples and just sent out a 1/3s each email they are really taking the piss, agree with others, if you do go ahead with this holiday make sure its all agreed fairly beforehand how the food/drink/eating out will be split evenly including their teens.

Don't do it over email, get together as a group to discuss, if you cant do that amicably now, it is probably best not to get trapped in a villa together for a week or more. You don't want a holiday with resentment and stress already built in before you even set foot on the plane.

Have the accommodation and flights been booked?

Just email back and say "sorry am confused at the cost of this. If there a 9 people sharing the villa surely the cost per person should be much lower? as it stands this is currently way out of our price range"

Echo don't go! The bossymum has most likely calculated this on the sly too so that in all fairness they get a great deal! (Is that too calculating?!)

Absolute hell with teens you can't guarantee they'll be good but they could come back pissed from bars, skinny dip in pool at 3am, loud music etc and God forbid you complain about them/criticise it'll be WW3 with bossymum!

You can easily get a reasonable deal now.