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Original poster

...to ask for your funny in law stories to make me feel better?

219 replies

Oobis · 28/04/2015 11:38

Hi, I'm new to using this, so I apologise if this topic has been done to death! My FIL is a nightmare. There isn't space on here to go into detail, but I was hoping for some comical stories to make me feel better about my narcissistic, arrogant, misogynistic nitwit.

OP posts:
CaspianSea · 29/04/2015 17:25

I'm still getting the giggles over 'Derek, a pig' Grin I laughed till I cried over that one yesterday. I don't know why I find it so funny it just is!

NoArmaniNoPunani · 29/04/2015 17:27

Told MIL I'm pregnant, her first words were the health visitor will report us to SS because we can't afford a new kitchen.

HarleynJoker · 29/04/2015 17:37

I'd rather my mil wear black to my wedding! Mines wearing white and it's only an 8 guest wedding so will majorly stand out Angry

Moomintroll85 · 29/04/2015 17:39

Lol NoArmani!

Some of these are fucking awful.

Mine is a pain, always guilt tripping DP, emotionally blackmailing him and behaving like a child - he often seems like the parent in conversations that they have, having to pull her up on her behaviour.

Also she bursts into tears and wails like a fucking banshee if my parents spend any time with our DS because she is jealous.

Fucking hard work but seems pretty mild in comparison so some of the psychos mentioned on here!

ollieplimsoles · 29/04/2015 17:44

HarleynJoker Nooooo My MIL tried to white a similar dress to me at mine, can you not ask her to not wear it, on account of you're the fucking bride!? D:

Weathergames · 29/04/2015 17:53

#2 MIL (never actually married her son). Was mortified that I stole her 24 yr old baby from her and had her first grandchild when I already had 2 children with ex OH.

She was a midwife and sulked for several months when we said we didn't want her to deliver the baby, sulked because I refused to get rid of my cat, couldn't understand why I kicked him out before the baby was born because he was romantically involved with a colleague ("they are just friends!! You are paranoid!!) - they have now been married for 13 yrs.

She then threw a massive strop because I gave the baby my surname (he was completely involved) and when I didn't allow her to chose his Christian name (as per her culture) said she didn't have a grandson (I said fine - she came back with her tail between her legs a few weeks later.

When people mistook her for DS's mother she didn't correct them (actually refers to herself as his mum "accidentally"), paid for me to go on a parenting course and now when I do very occasionally see her she calls me by the name of the women he had the affair with and is now married to. (Hahaha she has now got this women as a MIL - and has a child with him).

She also asked him if he "was sure" the child was his Hmm DS is the spitting image of him Grin

MonstrousRatbag · 29/04/2015 18:05

Mine have never introduced me by my name or even as DH's wife. Just 'daughter-in-law'. In a way that makes it sound on a par with "mass murderer". DH was unable to explain why this might be so.

funnyossity · 29/04/2015 18:09

I don't get introduced Monstrous; just hang about being ignored. (Except I don't go anymore.)

MoominKoalaAndMiniMoom · 29/04/2015 18:17

For Christmas last year, MIL gave us a baby record book for DD. A lovely gift, you say? It was from the charity shop she works at. Nothing against charity shops at all... But we opened the baby record book to find out it had already been filled in by the parents of a little boy called Peter.

She gave us a second hand, already-filled-in baby record book.

iwanttobeanonymous · 29/04/2015 18:20

The mil likes to "come and see ds on holiday" so some years the pils have come for a few days of our holiday. We self cater and they stay in a hotel.
Always end up going home early as fil has "something on" for which he is indispensable.
Fil moans about the cliffs and steepness. We go to the same place every year, this should not be a surprise to him any more
Mil brings a load of just in date perishable food which we cant possibly eat.
Last year Mil turned up with bucket spade etc. and was annoyed because ds already had beach toys. We had been there a week already. Obviously he was not supposed to have any fun!
Follows ds around on the beach like she is stuck to him. He has sn and is young for his age but needs some leeway. We are always watching him anyway, and its the sort of place where we meet the same families every year. They and their kids know him and he loves going to play with them.
Change their minds about what they want to do every five minutes.
Wont pay to park the car. Even if it means driving to the nearest town and back three mornings in a row without actually stopping there...
Say they will eat in their hotel one and then come to babysit so dh and I can go out for a meal. By the time they turn up the local places have stopped serving, are full or don't do food on xxnight.

They plan to come this year. Wish me luck.

LokiBear · 29/04/2015 18:23

I've been told many times how dh moving out (and in with me) was the worst day of their lives. We got the nightly, sobbing phone calls too. They are nice people but they over step at times and mil can be manipulative. I can't go into it all because it would out me. But, the most comical event was probably coming home from Tesco to find they had let themselves in with the spare key they insisted we needed to give them 'for emergencies'. MIL was mowing our lawn and FIL washing mugs in the kitchen, moving pots around in the cupboard (because we had put them in the wrong cupboard!!) and making tea. They hadn't called ahead to say they were coming but somehow thought that this was acceptable when they discovered we were out. They had even let themselves into the garage to get the lawn mower! They didn't keep the spare key for very long after that!

chelsea16 · 29/04/2015 18:41

I was with my kids dad for 8 years, and we have 3 kids. We are no longer together, but when we was I think his mum spoke to me maybe 3 or 4 times. After reading these I'm kinda glad my ex's mum could hardly speak English, his dad however could speak more than he let on, actually had arguments with him over his lazy ass son not returning our eldests school shoes pmsl tho there was times I wished his mum could speak English so not only I could speak to her but my kids too!

ToriaPumpkin · 29/04/2015 18:49

This will totally out me. I don't have a close up of the wee sheep to hand but you get the effect!

...to ask for your funny in law stories to make me feel better?
1944girl · 29/04/2015 18:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ollieplimsoles · 29/04/2015 18:57

Oh my YES! that's such an amazing cake!! This thread keeps getting better!

Loki was reading your post with a gaping mouth!

NoArmaniNoPunani · 29/04/2015 19:05

I'm glad I got that out on here, we told her about the pregnancy on Sunday and it's totally taken the shine off our happy news.

RedCheckedTablecloth · 29/04/2015 19:16

Not a MIL but a mother of an ex-boyfriend was a huge snob but his Dad was lovely.

She really disliked me and looked at me with a face like a bulldog licking piss off a nettle over the dinner table.

I was very young (in my teens).

One day she was listing her illustrious family. All doctors, Phd's, married to members of the aristocracy etc etc

His Dad leaned over and said so innocently and nicely (genuine) "Hey, but do you remember when I met you (fill in name) and your Mother was taking in washing?"

I loved him for that.

Moomintroll85 · 29/04/2015 19:19

Don't let her bring you down NoArmani she seems bitter and miserable and is trying to make you feel the same. This is how mine is - Every time we visit their house it's like stepping into a depressing abyss from which not even light can escape. Ignore her comments or see them as comedy entertainment.

Congrats on your pregnancy! Smile

grannytomine · 29/04/2015 19:23

MonstrousRatbag, I was referred to as "The Girl" for several years and then graduated to "What's its name." I never got as far as daughter in law and she is dead now so What's its name it is.

flabbyducks · 29/04/2015 19:27

bearfrills are you me ? EVERYTHING you have written I've been through

RedCheckedTablecloth · 29/04/2015 19:37

My friend's MIL wore the same dress she had worn to her other son's wedding the year before and told everyone "There was no point buying a new one".

And no. She wasn't being frugal.

My FIL is lovely but just toes the line. I know he can talk because there is a hole in his beard where food goes in.

We have had one conversation in ten years when we were left alone for a couple of hours. He was witty, interesting, funny and well read.

MIL came back and he reverted to 'Hole in Beard Man'.

Bearfrills · 29/04/2015 19:37

flabbyducks, my MIL must get around :o

Tanith · 29/04/2015 19:38

My DH taught DS to call my MIL "Ga Ga" Shock

He did so, and MIL forced a smile on her face every time her precious grandson used it - and he used it lots.

He even yelled it across a busy teashop once and Granny still managed a weak smile while simultaneously glowering at DH Grin

m0therofdragons · 29/04/2015 19:41

Df put a picture up of his "new toy" on fb - a chain saw. my parents have a big garden and dad loves his

m0therofdragons · 29/04/2015 19:46

Ooops try again
Df put a picture up of his "new toy" on fb - a chain saw. my parents have a big garden and dad loves his sharp things like axes etc. Anyway dh posted that in a zombie apocalypse we'd definitely stay with them - house position, chickens for eggs, grows his own veg, and sharp tools etc it would be ideal. Dh made a joke that dm would scare zombies off with her face, dm joined in. All very light hearted.
d mil then posted about us choosing my parents over them in a zombie apocalypse and she was upset. Wtf? Mil didn't talk to dh for 2 weeks because he chose my family over his in a fictional situation. Df is now terrified to post anything on fb!

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