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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

...to ask for your funny in law stories to make me feel better?

219 replies

Oobis · 28/04/2015 11:38

Hi, I'm new to using this, so I apologise if this topic has been done to death! My FIL is a nightmare. There isn't space on here to go into detail, but I was hoping for some comical stories to make me feel better about my narcissistic, arrogant, misogynistic nitwit.

OP posts:
IggyStrop · 28/04/2015 16:27

Have read the thread properly now, am laughing at the quarter slice of toast, being forced to look at the boob job and the MIL wanting to join in the honeymoon!

FrankTurnersGuitar · 28/04/2015 16:28

Where to start, SIL said I meant nothing to her DB as I'd only been with him five minutes, seventeen years. She had been his sister for 40 years, they didn't speak to him for ten years until he had terminal cancer.
BIL said it was more important that he was with DH when he died as he was a twin and therefore more important than me and our three children.
FIL said that I deserved to have terminal cancer as I didn't have any parents to leave behind.
The reason DH had a brain tumour was due to the stress of living with me.
MIl said that DH would be better off being looked after by her as she had fitted carpets and curtains rather than blinds. She also had fruit in her fruit bowl even if no one was ill.
MIL and SIL stood up at the funeral and shouted, he never loved you.
Thankfully we've not seen her since.

ollieplimsoles · 28/04/2015 16:31

FrankTurnersGuitar all joking aside, I am SO sorry all that happened to you. That behaviour is not ok, or funny, its just horrible.

Thank god you have no contact with her, your DCs will be better off without that in their lives too. So sorry for the loss of your DH Flowers xx

helenahandbag · 28/04/2015 16:31

FrankTurnersGuitar

Jesus, that's absolutely horrible. I'm so sorry Sad

HarpyFishwifeTwat · 28/04/2015 16:33

My ILs are generally ok and there's no major problems but they do get on my nerves (and probably vice versa). We're just very different people and if I wasn't married to their son we'd never choose to spend any time together whatsoever.

I'm generally quite a quiet person and like to be left to my own devices. They are the exact opposite. I've still never quite forgiven them for an incident at our wedding 13 years ago - we got married abroad as DH and I come from opposite ends of the country and neither are close to families. I'm terrified of flying and cope by watching films/reading and keeping myself to myself.

Two nights before the wedding ILs disappear and DH goes to find them, after half an hour or so I start to worry and go to their room. MIL is in tears, FIL has a face like thunder and is packing a case. As I didn't speak to FIL on the flight over they are leaving the next morning, they're not staying where they aren't wanted. My reaction of "Oh is that all? I thought it was something serious" was clearly not the desired one.

They stayed.

OfaFrenchMind · 28/04/2015 16:33

FrankTurnersGuitar Shock

ollieplimsoles · 28/04/2015 16:36

They stayed Oh darn it! Grin

IggyStrop the honeymoon thing was just ridiculous, she thought that because it was an hour and a half drive away from home, that must mean we wanted her to come stay in our romantic log cabin for two!

CPtart · 28/04/2015 16:37

When me and DH (together several years but still unmarried at the time) bought our first house together, PIL were horrified at us "living in sin". They summonsed DH over to theirs , an hour away, to lecture him with such goodies as "what would your grandad have thought?" SIL was given 10k towards the deposit on her first house on the condition she didn't live in sin first. As we ignored them, we got nothing.

CaspianSea · 28/04/2015 16:39

When mil's dog pooed in her back garden she got the trowel and deftly flicked the dog-poo over fence into her neighbour's garden. Seeing my face she said
'Oh don't worry, they're on holiday'
Shock

Seeing our cellar for the first time, she noticed some meat-hooks on the walls (used to hang game in olden days) and announced 'someone's been up to S&M down here!'
Btw she is 78.

AmberNectarine · 28/04/2015 16:41

Just this weekend my MIL suggested I was setting DS (5) and DD (3) up for an incestuous relationship by letting them share a double bed.

Other classics include calling me a gold digger when we first got together (if I was I wasn't an ambitious one!) and asking 'are you sure about this' when we announced my first pregnancy.

Weathergames · 28/04/2015 16:44

I have several from ex MIL.

Obsessed with only having 1 child (she had 3 Hmm). The best (worst) when I was 24 been living with EX H for 4 years and happily expecting DC2 telling me "it wasn't too late" for an abortion.

Shortly after this I moved to the other side of the world and haven't seen her in over 10 years.

CaspianSea · 28/04/2015 16:44

She also put £200 worth of tulip bulbs into my trolley at garden centre then realised she had forgotten her purse:
(To lady at till)
'Don't worry my DIL will pay'
5 years later her garden looks lovely but she never did pay me back!

Charlotte3333 · 28/04/2015 16:53

FrankTurnersGuitar that's evil, just evil.

MIL came on honeymoon with us. Ostensibly as a babysitter (DS1 was from a previous relationship, so came too). Her DP came, too. They both got terribly ill and spent the fortnight gingerly running between bathrooms and didn't babysit once.

She goes to a psychic often who told her DH would meet a brunette businesswoman. He met me, blonde and unfocussed on anything but shoes and gin, and asked him "are you sure you don't want to hold on longer and see if that brunette turns up?".

She made a huge fuss of the names we chose for DS2, as they weren't any of her family names, even more so when she realised he was named for George Bailey from It's a Wonderful Life (said it was chav to name a DC after anything but a relative).

She caught me doing my makeup one morning after a particularly rough night with DS2 and announced "don't know why you're doing that, it's not like anyone will be looking at you".

She tells DH "you don't want any more children, you won't have any more, will you?" as though it's her choice.

She reminds me at least once a week that DS2 takes after her family entirely and has nothing of me or my family in him.

Luckily I couldn't give a shit what she thinks and am secure enough in my relationships with DH and the DCs that I can laugh at her sheer lunacy. Otherwise she'd have been under the patio years ago.

ScorpioMermaid · 28/04/2015 17:00

casein sea I'd dig the bloody things up!

ScorpioMermaid · 28/04/2015 17:01

I mean caspiansea Blush

ScorpioMermaid · 28/04/2015 17:04

frankturnersguitar Shock Thanks

ollieplimsoles · 28/04/2015 17:06

My personal faves from this thread have been 'I really like those fuck bags'

and 'someone has been doing s&m in here'

still laughing now!

ahbollocks · 28/04/2015 17:07

My mil who I actually really like;

First time I met her 'well you should know now, gold digger to gold digger; he's skint'

Telling her I was pregnant 'I am really worried about your perineum, ahbollocks, you're only a tiny thing'

3 days after giving birth (emergency c section) she bought me an exercise ball and pump 'because you'll have to sort that belly out' - i never went above a size 10,she's around a size 22.

Cheeky mare.

geekymommy · 28/04/2015 17:10

I work from home and a nursery would mean me clearing out my office, so she thinks the only reason we dont want a nursery is because I dont want to give up my office

A substantial decrease in the risk of SIDS isn't good enough for her? I've seen estimates of a 35-50% decrease in SIDS when babies share a room with a parent. DD room-shared with us for her first four months, and DS will when he is born, for this reason (among others).

No, must be because you're a bad mother and don't want to give up your office.

patterkiller · 28/04/2015 17:14

On our first holiday abroad as a couple, we arrived at the hotel reception to be greeted by Mil and Fil as a 'surprise'.

ollieplimsoles · 28/04/2015 17:19

geeky it made me feel AWFUL,

I don't usually argue with her but I did over this. The only reason she wants us to have a nursery is so she can buy things for it (she loves buying crap) and so she can brag to her friends about what we have done. The thought of us just shoving the baby in a cot next to our bed makes her think we are not doing things 'properly'. She doesnt care that its safer for the baby.

She told the whole family behind my back that they all have to try and 'change my mind' and force me to give up my office so baby can have a room...

It makes me think she has a problem with me working as well as she has eluded to that before now too.

geekymommy · 28/04/2015 17:33

'Concerns' and criticisms don't have to be reasonable to make you feel awful. Wouldn't it be nice if they did?

Obviously, someone who prioritises buying stuff and bragging to her friends over the baby's safety and her own relationship with a family member is being totally unreasonable.

ollieplimsoles · 28/04/2015 17:41

glad you think so too, I don't usually let her get to me but this is my first baby so I do have a lot of questions/ concerns.

I think sometimes she uses my vulnerability at this uncertain time, to get me to do things she wants. She tries to scare me with the 'what will people think if you do such and such'

She was horrified when she found out we have put home birth down for our preferred place of birth. We tried to tell her its just what we were hoping for but fully prepared to go to hospital. She said it was 'irresponsible' and made me feel absolutely terrible, like I was going to hurt my baby..

Koalafications · 28/04/2015 17:47

I'm Shock and Angry at some of these!

KERALA1 · 28/04/2015 18:43

ollie you will need a room eventually, though agree not from the off...