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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

...to ask for your funny in law stories to make me feel better?

219 replies

Oobis · 28/04/2015 11:38

Hi, I'm new to using this, so I apologise if this topic has been done to death! My FIL is a nightmare. There isn't space on here to go into detail, but I was hoping for some comical stories to make me feel better about my narcissistic, arrogant, misogynistic nitwit.

OP posts:
dw53 · 28/04/2015 18:48

my inlaws turned up this weekend with a playstation 3 for my DH they see my 2 boys(aged 1 and 3) approx. every 2 months and NEVER bring gifts they turned up at the weekend with a brand new playstation 3 as they think their darling son never gets anything as all his money goes to paying for the house and kids!! I work full time earning the same as my husband and I have recently taken a weekend job to pay for a short trip away to celebrate my 2 sisters' 40th & 50th Birthdays. my parents gave us money for a family holiday for Christmas. my husband cannot see why i'm annoyed

Roseformeplease · 28/04/2015 19:01

My mad mother, not MiL, but worth telling.

At our wedding, when we had been reluctantly forced into a reception line, she shook hands with one of DH's friends and said, "I am sorry if I am standing a bit funny, but you see, I have had my uterus removed"

She later got very drunk and passed out with her legs wide open, so you could practically see the space left by said removal.

Luckily, I was told about these after the event!

19lottie82 · 28/04/2015 19:03

To Derek, a pig...... GrinAbsolutely PMSL at that one. Sitting with my DH and keep snorting with laughter whenever it crosses my mind, while he looks at me as if I'm mental!

MoominKoalaAndMiniMoom · 28/04/2015 21:18

Some of these are hilarious and some are shocking!

When we announced our pregnancy with DD, MIL said 'ok' and nothing more. SIL immediately unfollowed us on Facebook.

I was systemically ignored by MIL and SIL throughout the pregnancy, whilst OH continued to be included by them (although he's always been the black sheep). There was very much an air of me being a disgrace (OH is the younger sibling so SIL was supposed to have a baby first and wanted to have the first grandchild, first great-grandchild etc, I was 19 at the time, we weren't married whereas SIL was).

When DD arrived, MIL, FIL turned up on the postnatal ward less than 12 hours later, bringing OH's grandparents with them. All looked slightly horrified that I hadn't made more of an effort for them (I was still being monitored in case I needed a blood transfusion, I was so anaemic).

Constant undermining of mine and OH's parenting. Whenever SIL sees DD, she asks 'Is mummy neglecting you? Is she horrible to you? Horrible mummy?'.

Unsolicited parenting advice. I can't wait for SIL to have a baby and realise most of the bullshit she's lectured me with doesn't work at all Grin

Oh, and this month, SIL completely ignored DD's first birthday. Which was nice of her.

OhWotIsItThisTime · 28/04/2015 22:08

Mil tried to insist that ds1 had her gm's maiden name as one of his middle names. According to her it was a family tradition, even though it wasn't.

Bearfrills · 28/04/2015 22:15

I'm back for Round Two, this is very cathartic.

When DS1 was born it became very clear, very quickly, that he was viewed as the also-ran and MIL couldn't particularly give a shit about having a relationship with him.

When he was about 6mo she mentioned that he really reminds her of DH's cousin. I said "because he's got such a big smile". She replied "no, the other reason". DH's cousin has severe learning difficulties and behavioural issues. DS is currently awaiting assessment for ADHD and this particular remark keeps running through my head.

She and SIL massively kicked off when DB took DS out for a few hours. I had morning sickness, he called in for a visit, I looked like crap so he took the baby for a bit. They had no plans to take DS out, hadn't offered or mentioned taking him out, but heaven forbid anyone else should. MIL told me to watch my back and that I was going to get jumped because I was evil.

A few weeks later, when I'd lost the baby I was carrying at 15wks, she was all apologies. We went to DNs birthday party and she'd told everyone at the party what had happened. She'd also told them that I was closed down about it and needed to open up so for the entire party I had her pissed up mates trailing me around trying to talk me into an emotional breaththrough.

We had a year of NC after she had a special Christmas Eve tea for DN and attempted to post DS gift, despite living five minutes away. During that year I had DD and for various reasons mainly because I'm stupid I decided to give her another chance at a relationship with the DC. DH had completely washed his hands of her at this point.

DS and DD were, again, second best. One afternoon she was going on and on about a trip to a railway museum they were going to take DN on. DS said "I like trains too..." she at least had the good grace to look uncomfortable when she told him "oh well, your mum and dad might take you".

One afternoon when we visited her house they got DN a snack without even asking DS if he wanted one, they were both 3yo so very much at the age where you can't give one without the other but DS had to watch DN eat. I stopped taking them to the house when I overheard BIL remark one afternoon as we were coming in the door "quick, here's DS, hide the toys!"

She would arrange to see the DC, promise them the moon on a stick, and then not bother showing up. Her excuse would always be that her DP had been ill. On one occasion she used this excuse, said they'd been at the walk in all day. A few hours later photos were on FB of her out for a meal with her other grandchildren earlier that day when she'd supposedly been at the walk in.

On DS birthday she sent her DP up to the house half an hour after bedtime with five £1 coins in an envelope from her, her DP, other SIL, and SILs DP. Not great that she didn't deliver it herself considering it was his birthday (she was at her house with her ither grandchildren) but fair enough. On DDs birthday a fortnight later, she turned up at the door with a tablet for her. That's when I finally lost my temper and told her that I accept she plays favourites with her children and that she plays favourites with her grandchildren, but I'll be dammed if she'll play favourites with my children.

It's been nearly two years since we saw her and it's been blissful, even if she does occasionally stalk us and tells anyone who will listen that she doesn't understand what she did to upset us and it's all down to me :o

And breathe....

ollieplimsoles · 28/04/2015 23:16

KERALA1 I'm planning to move my office downstairs to a lovely space and then turn the room into a baby room a little later on :)

She's just upset we are not having the white cot, wardrobe and changing table with a mobile etc she can gush over...

Bearfrills epic rant and I can tell its much needed! Your MIL really doesn't give two shits what she says or does, does she...

hodgepodgepanda · 28/04/2015 23:25

Upon finding out I were pregnant after 9 years of trying MIL asked Dp if he was sure the baby was his Hmm

Said baby is now 5 weeks old and is the double of his Dad to the point it's odd as he literally looks like a mini version of him .

MIL lives 2 hours away and has been making excuses since Ds were born as to why she hasn't been to see him (FIL drives we don't) and I can guarantee she hasnt been because she is convinced Dp is not Ds' dad .
Dp rang his Dm this weekend asking when they would be over as he wasnt happy they weren't interested in Ds & they told him it would be a while as they are skint , they went on a last minute holiday yesterday Angry

After years of sly comments about my age and what I'm after I've told Dp they aren't getting near Ds Sad as they don't even bother to ring etc

Ok a funny one now

MIL & her twin sister came to stay the other year , her twin got ridiculously drunk and MIL decided to argue/fight with her & for God knows what reason MIL took her top off while fighting , so a half naked OAP in my living room and I still haven't a clue what it was all about

HobbitMummy · 29/04/2015 01:10

My pils are hard work too.

Mil guilted us into staying overnight in posh stately home for Sils wedding - DH drives, I don't and then we had to pay for ourselves.

At the (same) wedding I was introduced to the groom's parent's as "Um, DH's wife" - we'd been married 5 years at the time!

Mil ALWAYS expects us to supply the wine with meals - whether she's cooked or I have - and tries to make out that we're not being generous if we don't. Also, often demands DH gives her a drink before she's even said hello.

She expects us to pay if we go out for lunch too - which she always wants to do. DH has got much better at saying no to this but she will kick up a fuss - in public - and make out she's hard done by "after everything I did for you growing up" is her classic. (Once the waiter was at the table with the bill - poor man didn't know where to look!)

Fil moans about everything. The restaurants are always "too expensive" but if we stop for a coffee and they only have those little sticks for stirring then it's "not smart enough"

He constantly tries to tickle DS - who does not like being tickled - and ignores him when he says "no Grandpa."

We're going away for the weekend with them soon - HELP!

clickers123 · 29/04/2015 02:10
  1. I spent all afternon cooking a fantastic shepherds pie for mil after numerous comments about my food being 'too spicy'. She had two helpings and when she finished her plate of food, she looked at me and said 'I really like this fork'.....
  2. When I was in labour with my first child, she rang the maternity ward to tell my DH that their pet rabbit had died.
  3. When answering the phone at our house, FIL says 'Mr.Clickers' residence' ... arghhh... I live here too!!!!
  4. I sent some flowers one Mother's Day and the delivery guy left a card saying they wer around the back. Took them four days to walk around the back of the house , by which time flowers were dead.
  5. Bought me a new iron as a thank you for having us present.
  6. Brings her own cleaning products when she comes to stay. (but never actually uses them)

Apart from that I really love her!

clickers123 · 29/04/2015 02:17

I' m still laughing about the uterus story btw ...

textfan · 29/04/2015 02:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ToriaPumpkin · 29/04/2015 04:53

My MIL is vile at times but one of the funniest of her sulks was when she asked when we'd be having DS christened.

"Well... We won't." Came the reply

She then launched into a tirade about how of course we were. DH asked why and pointed out that we are not religious.

"But you go to church!" And this is true. We do. For other people's weddings and christenings.

I could have understood it but the woman hadn't been to a normal church service for 16 years by that point!

Catdogwormfrog · 29/04/2015 05:05

I wish I had some funny ones Hmm
She's awful

Catdogwormfrog · 29/04/2015 05:09

Although they have a dog and it made me laugh when she said having a dog is exactly like having a newborn baby

ollieplimsoles · 29/04/2015 07:27

Doesn't the idea of grandparents leave/ rights proposed by some parties strike fear into some of your hearts knowing what your inlaws are like? It does mine!

My mil took my dh aside on his 20th birthday and asked if he would take me home before his birthday party she had organised because she wanted it to be 'just family'. He told her where to go!

killthewiseone · 29/04/2015 08:14

Doesn't the idea of grandparents leave/ rights proposed by some parties strike fear into some of your hearts knowing what your inlaws are like? It does mine!

It would if I was having any more children, we've 2 and that's enough. MIL is shall we say very 'forthright' in her opinions where her GC are concerned. She 'decided' that my DC would be staying overnight at her's once a month - though was good enough to let us know. She's decided my DD will be getting a pony at around 4 or 5 - apparently we don't get to say no, it's a family tradition. When my SIL was pregnant MIL had to have surgery around the time the baby was due. She told us all about how she'd be able to spend the day holding the baby whilst SIL did all of her housework for her Confused (and no, SIL didn't actually live with her at the time, it's was SIL's first, and MIL had another daughter who was living at home).

At my wedding she took my mum to one side and told her to get me in check because she didn't like the name we were planning for DD. When DS was due I told her the name we'd probably go with, she later kept saying to DH we should call him "Andrew Paul" - it's the name of a neighbour's cat she knew as a child, he got run over - so of course we'd want to use a name of a dead cat she witnessed being squashed rather than names to honour my deeased dad Confused

slithytove · 29/04/2015 09:37

ollie - DD is still in with us at 7.5 months, so no rush!

ollieplimsoles · 29/04/2015 09:42

reassuring slithytove thanks!

killthewiseone oh goodness me, we haven't told anyone what we have chosen re names for this LO, I know people will have an opinion so don't want to give them a chance before baby arrives!

ToriaPumpkin Why do some mils insist that DGCs are christened, even if they are not particularly religious! is it because they want a party, or to show off to their friends or something! Hmm

Dowser · 29/04/2015 10:08

Cheesy dibbles

Hilariously inappropriate but hilarious all the same!

I have nothing remotely funny about my in laws.

My mil was a lovely generous woman who thought the world of me and fil was a miserable old sod!

DaphneMoon1 · 29/04/2015 10:08

Oh I needed this thread today!

Had a fab relationship with my in-laws before I had my lovely daughter a few months back (you should see her, she's amazing).

My sister in law had a baby a couple of months before me (a boy). The difference in the way that the two babies are treated by my parents in law makes me sick to my stomach. They just seem to relish spending time with my nephew, and yet they hardly spend any time at all with my daughter.

I have no idea what's behind it, but I can barely look at them now.

DaphneMoon1 · 29/04/2015 10:10

Sorry I realise thats not funny, but I feel so sick about it today that I really needed to rant....

ollieplimsoles · 29/04/2015 10:11

You should see her, she's amazing Lets see! :D

My friend had the same problem with her DP's parents over her son, they didn't seem interested in him till him got to a certain age, now they are overbearing!
You should mention something to them!

Dowser · 29/04/2015 10:18

Rose for me please!

Hilarious! Absolutely hilarious!

Oh what nightmares you all have! Our family seems quite normally boring by comparison.

FernGullysWoollyPully · 29/04/2015 10:36

I'm back for round 2 also!! Some anecdotes on here are just so crazy, you have to laugh. I've got a couple like that...

My SIL did a "how dare you be pregnant" type text when we told her we were expecting again. She'd told me, as new year struck, that she had plans for a new baby. She's got 3 children and no fertility problems. I think she was just gutted I got there first. Ended up shaming her in front of pil. It was one of my proudest moments Grin

My FIL has to know everything about everything. He's so pompous in the way he speaks about things. And its not a specialist subject, it really is anything he has to be right over. He does this thing of "ahh, I think you'll find.." then goes off into an explanation about why he's correct. Most of the time it's bollocks.

My mum cried at my wedding because she was lonely and the attention wasn't totally on her (she's only been divorced 17 years!)

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