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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be upset a woman called my child dirty

246 replies

Shiningbaubles · 26/04/2015 16:35

Out at a country park today, dd(5) had a wee in the car park as she was busting. A woman walked past with toddler and baby and she said to her daughter who was asking for a wee 'no, you can wait, just because other children are being dirty doesn't mean you have to!'

AIBU to think this was horrible?

OP posts:

whois · 26/04/2015 18:18

Those saying 5 is too old, what exactly should we do with children over 5 who just can't wait? Keep them indoors for life? Stick a big sign on their foreheads saying Additional Needs, Exempt from your Judginess?

Buy a multi pack of 'travel johns' from Amazon. Discreetly wee into the bag through the plastic opening somewhere out of sight (in the car, behind a bush, under a long skirt). Close the bag and dispose once solidified.

If you have a child with continence issues that would be much kinder than making them piss on the floor in a public car park.

Original poster

Shiningbaubles · 26/04/2015 18:20

I did ask her but she said she didn't (kids!) and there was a queue anyway so if we'd walked back then queued she might of wet herself.

OP posts:

KoalaDownUnder · 26/04/2015 18:21

OP's child doesn't have 'additional needs' though (unless I've missed something).

That's why people are saying she was being unreasonable.

Bettercallsaul1 · 26/04/2015 18:22

If this only happens once in a blue moon, OP, and your daughter doesn't make a habit of it and think it a normal, everyday thing to do, I woudn't give it a second thought.

It's always horrible when someone criticises you publicly - especially where a chid is concerned - but it really doesn't matter in the least apart from showing what a spectrum of opinions are there on practically every subject.

As Branleuse says You can't please everyone, and it's not worth even trying anymore. Mumsnet has made me realise that! Totally agree - hardly any threads are unanimous and no matter what you say, on no matter how insignificant a topic, there will always be someone who vehemently disagrees with you!

ParkingFred · 26/04/2015 18:24

I would normally expect a 5 year old to hold it until we got to a loo, and it is a bit ick to do it in a car park.

Wolfiefan · 26/04/2015 18:27

DS would rather have exploded than wee in public!
DD luckily has amazing bladder control.
I think a 5 year old should be able to wait. Weeing in a car park is yuck!

Gileswithachainsaw · 26/04/2015 18:35

Those saying 5 is too old, what exactly should we do with children over 5 who just can't wait? Keep them indoors for life? Stick a big sign on their foreheads saying Additional Needs, Exempt from your Judginess

there is a huge difference between peeing behind a bush or tree where it's unlikely that someone will stand in exactly that spot, and pissing in a car park grass or otherwise where people are garunteed to dad, maybe put car seats down on, or their baby sat yo while they strap in an older child or stand with bare feet or sandals.
like I'm. Sure you wouldn't allow a child AN or otherwise to crouch and wee on the floor in tesco just because they "couldn't wait"

surely wherever you go either with a child with continence issues or a toilet training toddler, you scope the area on arrival and prepare accordingly by bringing a pull up incase there are no appropriate places to wee or bringing travel potties.

you are not suggesting parents of children with AN just allow their kids to wee anywhere and everywhere are you?

TheRealAmandaClarke · 26/04/2015 18:45

I think it was a mean and unneccessary comment.

Littlemonstersrule · 26/04/2015 18:52

Toddlers in an emergency yes but not school aged children. They should know the urge to go in time to walk to the closest toilet. The lady was N
BU to call it dirty to discourage her children from copying.

Lweji · 26/04/2015 18:54

OP, how would you feel if you got to the car park and it reeked of wee because every child had peed right on it?

whatatit · 26/04/2015 19:05

Some of the world appear to have gone mad can't see owt wrong with a 5 year old desperate for a wee having one in a field.

SoldierBear · 26/04/2015 19:06

As there were toilets nearby, YWBU to let her wee in the car park.
She's 5, not a toilet training toddler.
It's not pleasant for anyone else to have to walk through the pee, so the woman was right - it is dirty.

Aeroflotgirl · 26/04/2015 19:08

Yanbu at all, she is only little. there has to be someone, don't worry.

ragged · 26/04/2015 19:09

Wouldn't have said a thing if it was a dog taking a giant piss. Try to let it go, OP.

PtolemysNeedle · 26/04/2015 19:13

If the toilets were close enough that a much younger and desperate to go toddler could have waited, then YABU. It is dirty to see in public. Sometimes it's an unfortunate neccessity with small children, but that doesn't mean it's a pleasant thing to do.

QuintShhhhhh · 26/04/2015 19:17

We were totally stuck in traffic once, the traffic was literally NOT moving and my just toilet trained nearly 2 1/2 year old boy was getting desperate. I had no choice but to leave the car with my son for him to wee next to a tree by the road side (50cm square of soil surrounding tree).

But a 5 year old school age child in walking distance of toilets? No, not really cool.

Gileswithachainsaw · 26/04/2015 19:18

dogs also eat shit, and smell other dogs back arses.

I'm sure someone would have something to say if you to raised a nappy bin for dinner or your child shoved his nose in your arse.

The dog argument is ridiculous

IShallCallYouSquishy · 26/04/2015 19:19

I have a nearly 3 year old and she would have been taken back to the loos. I agree with the woman I'm afraid.

What if your DD had been desperate for a poo? Would you have let her do that in the car park?

AmateurSeamstress · 26/04/2015 19:37

you are not suggesting parents of children with AN just allow their kids to wee anywhere and everywhere are you?

No of course not, instead my daughter just wets her pants in tesco while we sprint down the aisles to the loos. But it's miserable and blanket judgements like she's too old don't help. A bit less judgement would be nice sometimes, both for families who deal with this for years and for the OP making a snap judgement with a 5 year old in a car park. We have supplies and some privacy in the car but DD has weed and pooed in all sorts of places we, and she, would rather she hadn't had to. My current stress is how we are going to manage an airport and flight this summer.

Thanks for the link to the Travel Johns, I hadn't heard of these but it might be worth investing once she outgrows our current measures. Still they aren't going to solve the issues with shops or flying.

TinyTearsFirstLove · 26/04/2015 19:45

I don't think 5 is too old. That's why they have spare pants at school up to year 1 or 2 because they're still little kids and have the odd accident.
I know a 4 year old that wees and then needs another big wee 5-10 mins later and then another large wee about 30 mins after that. Been potty trained for over a year, no medical issues. They're still young at that age.

Gileswithachainsaw · 26/04/2015 19:47

And I'm sure most people would only be sympathetic at what's obviously an accident. and I'm sorry you have such a hard time amateur.

ops child however has not got any AN unless she's going to drip feed some. and there were toilets near by. Instead she chose to allow her child to urinate where she knows other people are going to have to stand or sit or put things down on.

that is unreasonable. and unnecessary.

Gileswithachainsaw · 26/04/2015 19:48

And lazy given she mentioned they'd have to walk back which for a healthy nt school age child should not be an issue.

tomatodizzymum · 26/04/2015 19:52

Said so you could hear? Rude. Wee is not unhygenic, female human wee smells a lot less than all the other wees done in a country park (fox and unneutered male cats is particularly unpleasant)

msgrinch · 26/04/2015 19:53

yabu. It is dirty and unnecessary for a school aged child, when there were toilets near. My son is 6 and would have held on until we were back at the toilet. He'd be mortified at peeing in a car park!

winewolfhowls · 26/04/2015 19:58

Wouldn't bother me.

I often have to go in the trees on a walking day out.

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