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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset a woman called my child dirty

246 replies

Shiningbaubles · 26/04/2015 16:35

Out at a country park today, dd(5) had a wee in the car park as she was busting. A woman walked past with toddler and baby and she said to her daughter who was asking for a wee 'no, you can wait, just because other children are being dirty doesn't mean you have to!'

AIBU to think this was horrible?

OP posts:
QuintShhhhhh · 26/04/2015 17:14

I honestly thought your "little child" would be 2 or 3, not school age!

sleeponeday · 26/04/2015 17:18

Simply because she is entitled to think it.

Entitled to think something about a 5 year old's behaviour, when said behaviour doesn't directly affect you, does not translate into entitled to SAY something.

And there's no excuse for what she actually said, either. There are ways of phrasing dissenting parental choices to your own that don't shame and humiliate the other child, even when the actual aim is to embarrass the other parent. Whatever anyone thinks, it's not the Reception age child who deserves to hear it.

Corygal · 26/04/2015 17:18

Fine, but soon she'll be getting on a bit to have emergencies.

sleeponeday · 26/04/2015 17:19

Should add that I don't allow mine to pee in public unless on a long country walk and caught short, and haven't since about 2 or 3. But it's not a moral imperative, so live and let live... as long as it's not in a public and shared environment.

MangoJuggler · 26/04/2015 17:20

It is minging and I would quite likely have said similar to my own dcs.

KoalaDownUnder · 26/04/2015 17:22

DameDiazepam, since dogs cannot actually perch on a flushing toilet, that is a totally bizarre comment. Unless we eradicate them as a species, they are going to have to wee on the ground, yes.

OP, I think 5 is pushing it to claim 'little child' status for squatting in public, tbh. And it also sounds as if it was somewhere another car might be parking next, so will walk through it.

I'd find a bush or make her walk back next time.

LynetteScavo · 26/04/2015 17:22

I probably shouldn't comment as my DC have always had bladders of steel (apart from the time DH let DC have a huge amount of drink on the train and he weed on the escalator in Hamely's Blush) But a 5 year old isn't a baby, and I can see why the other mother wanted to discourage her DD from weeing in public, but I think she should have whispered to her DD.

I have no idea how girls wee outdoors with out getting it on their shoes. Can you really still to that lift up under then knees thing at 5yo?

KoalaDownUnder · 26/04/2015 17:23

I think it was nasty of her to make that comment within your child's earshot, though

MrsKoala · 26/04/2015 17:24

It's funny what some people consider 'dirty' and what others think is normal. I think what you did is fine in an open field type 'car park area' but a bit manky in a proper car park.

Once when ds1 was 10mo we were on a bus and he was blowing raspberries, a little girl of about 3-4 joined in and blew a raspberry back. The mum said in my direction, 'don't be disgusting, just because another child is spitting you don't have to join in' the little girl looked really embarrassed. It took a second for me to register, but I was Confused when I realised she meant my ds's raspberries. The way she said it was as if I was letting him gob on the floor and he was much older. Bizarre. awaits loads of posters telling me it WAS akin to gobbling on the floor and I should have got off the bus and walked if ds couldn't behave

Original poster
Shiningbaubles · 26/04/2015 17:24

She just bobbed down, I am so surprised some of you seem to think 5 is too old!

OP posts:
AuntyMag10 · 26/04/2015 17:24

Sorry but she's 5yo! I too would think it dirty.

NeedABumChange · 26/04/2015 17:25

If you act dirty you shouldn't be surprised when you are called dirty!

A 5yr old is not a baby.

HighwayDragon · 26/04/2015 17:25

Yabu, she didn't call your daughter dirty, she told her dc thry would have to wait because peeing in a car park is dirty. Which it is.

KoalaDownUnder · 26/04/2015 17:25

Mrs K, no...that truly IS bizarre!

MrsBungle · 26/04/2015 17:25

I think the woman was horrible and very rude to announce her opinion like that so your dd could hear. I have a 5 year old and there has been quite a few occasions where we've been in the middle of the woods or such like and she's gone for a wee (hidden and out of the way behind a bush or something). Personally I wouldn't do it if there were toilets near or in a car park with people walking past.

NeedABumChange · 26/04/2015 17:26

Also a grass car park is horrible as the next person getting out of a car could well have sandels on and end up covered in your daughters mess!

JacquesHammer · 26/04/2015 17:27

I wouldn't have let DD wee in a car park. What I do have (still!) is a travel potty. For emeergencies when there aren't loos anywhere near, she can sit on the travel potty on the back seat of my car with doors closed. Totaly privacy, wee goes into a bag and then gets taken home to be disposed of. DD still uses it on very odd occasions at 8 Grin

sleeponeday · 26/04/2015 17:27

OP, I think most people would think 5 is too old, TBH. Not being judgemental, but she's school age. She's not "a tiny child".

HighwayDragon · 26/04/2015 17:27

MrsK I would have said the same to dd (and have in the past) raspberries in the air when a child is over about 18mo is gross.

GoodbyeToAllOfThat · 26/04/2015 17:28

I'm really surprised that anyone would think a 5 year old peeing in a field is dirty. A closed car park, yes, dirty.

MrsKoala · 26/04/2015 17:29

It was in Canada, we also noticed a lot of dirty looks at his raspberries from others over the few months he was going thru 'the phase'. We just assumed a cultural difference and shrugged it off. We noticed they were a lot more germ phobic over there in general.

KoalaDownUnder · 26/04/2015 17:30

Not being snarky - I'm genuinely surprised that you're surprised, OP! I'd only expect 'must wee here and now' behaviour from a child who has just recently been toilet-trained (2 or 3...not 5).

MrsKoala · 26/04/2015 17:31

Grin see I knew it. We do them all the time in this house. Not dirty to us.

KoalaDownUnder · 26/04/2015 17:31

It was an area of a field that was being used as a car park, no?

lunar1 · 26/04/2015 17:35

I'd have told my two, 6&3 that it was dirty too. Not meaning your daughter but I wouldn't have said it so anyone would hear.

I'd have just meant it was a dirty habit and made then walk back to the toilets. I think 5 is too old if there are no additional needs. If it was absolutely necessary I'd have gone somewhere nobody could see.