To think this woman is at best misguided and at worst disgusting?

[Totality22]

Will try to be brief.

I was introduced to a friend of a friend who is ebf her DS (about 10 weeks) and it came up in conversation that she drinks a bottle of wine in one evening once / twice a week. She was unashamed but made it clear she didn't neck it back (drinks it over the course 4-5 hours)

Once I picked my jaw up off the floor the conversation had moved on but I am still thinking about it days later.

I like a drink, can happily open a bottle and finish it the same evening [over the course of a good few hours, like the lady in question]. I had a glass of champers when 8 months pregnant so I am certainly not adverse to the notion of drinking / pregnancy / BF'ing.

AIBU to find this woman shocking though?

To not drip feed woman is a medical professional not trained in UK and currently a SAHP here, her husband is a Dr, she is not English [culturally I assume this may be relevant as maybe the info is different to here?], and she did this with her first baby who is now 5 and perfectly fine.

Well I don't think it is great to drink a bottle of wine twice a week in the evening, BF or not.

I know, MN seem to frown upon people who think it isn't normal or healthy to drink a bottle of wine twice a week but to me that is very excessive.

I know nothing about alcohol and bf so can't comment on that part, but in general I think we have a way too relaxed attitude to drinking in Britain if drinking two bottles of wine at home is seem as normal.

"I think it's pretty small minded to imply that she might not know any better because she didn't train in the UK"

I did mention that it may be a cultural difference / different guidelines. It's not a swipe at her training. Although interestingly she chose not to work in her profession when they moved over here.

"Ah it's one of those threads! Aibu? Yes you are. Nooooo I'm not"

I am just trying to clarify that we're all on the same page. Lots of posters seems to think moderate drinking is OK (and I am fine with that) but trying to ascertain if 9 units in one sitting is moderate.

"Well I don't think it is great to drink a bottle of wine twice a week in the evening, BF or not"

Thanks. I have seen many a thread where people are chastised for drinking this amount yet a BF'ing mother doing it is fine???

MN is weird.

seen*

I think a bottle is for sharing and a whole bottle is excessive however I could eat a sharing bag of doritos to myself, which is prob more toxic!

"Cultural difference = not being as knowledgeable as we are. Especially given the strike through at the beginning I think.

A bottle of wine over one evening twice a week - fairly high consumption but not outrageous. Drinking while breastfeeding - perfectly safe. As long as she's not co sleeping then it's nobody's business.

I would love someone to show a reliable link which says its fine to drink a bottle of wine in one evening when you are breastfeeding.

I agree with you op - gut instinct tells me that's way too much.

msgrinch - I don't think op is bu. It is not a consensus.

I would secretly at that amount of drinking even without adding in bf

But I am quite prim about alcohol (and drugs) around young children

Does she spill it on the baby?

says someone who had a glass of champagne at 8 months pregnant!
Worry about yourself. It's not like you're buying the wine for her is it!

I often time a well deserved glass of wine with my final feed, I figure it's not a direct line from gob to tit and ive got a 2-4hrs for it to leave my system before next feed. I always think how ridiculous I must look baby on tit and wine in hand.

A whole bottle of wine, she's ridiculous to drink that much in one go IMO and be BFing.

Anyone drinking that much, in one evening, on a regular basis needs to go and see their Dr.

Thank god I am not alone.

I think it is quite scary how we have normalised drinking that some think 1 bottle of wine twice a week is normal.

I was 8.5 months actually (NYE) and I had a white wine sprizter on Xmas day... just wanted to illustrate I am not at all anti drinking [in moderation]

Also yes I see how the use of strikethrough makes it look as though I am having a dig at mum not being from UK. I wasn't... but do think it is possibly relevant.

Maybe I need a lesson in the use of strikethrough??

• spritzer even!!

Ugh I wouldn't want to get up with a newborn and a hangover twice a week.

did you see what kind of wine she was drinking? i mean - was it a low or high percentage? did you check the vintage to make sure it really was wine?

if you're that bothered and worried and want to play at Judgy Pants why don't you just ask her husband about it? i mean you may as well get a second medical opinion if you doubt that the female medical professional knows what she is doing......

or you could just mind your own beeswax and find something more interesting to focus your attention on - such as your own life maybe?

I'd be most concerned about her dropping the baby whilst feeding after a whole bottle of wine, or drifting off to sleep after drinking and squashing the baby whilst in the process of feeding. Are people not ridiculously drunk after a whole bottle? (I know I would be)

I hate it when people come out with that crap. 'Focus on your own life'

I am sure the OP can manage to focus on her own life while having concerns for her friend.

I manage it all the time. To focus on my life but have the occasional opinion on someone's else's behaviour, even if it is none of my business.

There was a study done recently and the amount of alcohol getting through breastmilk is minimal IIRC. Will try to find a link if my pregnancy brain will help

On MN, you could beat your baby over the head with a wine bottle and people would be falling over themselves to proclaim; "maybe she was having a bad day, judgeypants!".

Drinking a bottle of wine once/twice a week seems a fair bit to me, breastfeeding or not, especially drunk in one sitting. A bottle of wine averages between 8 and 10 units. A woman is meant to drink approx 14 units per week.