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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would it BU to report this store clerk to his manager?

200 replies

NoPillows · 25/04/2015 15:04

I've just been into Sainsbury's. I look young for my age (not a stealth boast, it's relevant). Among other things I also bought some alcohol. I went to the self-check out tills where the attending store clerk asked me for ID, checked it and I got on with paying for the items all good so far.

Before leaving the store I went to buy cigarettes. When I asked the person staffing that area for the cigarettes he loudly declares "Gosh! You sound younger than me, do you have any ID" I give him my license and then he looks at it and says "oh 1984!" He then holds my license in the air next to my head and loudly ponders "are you sure this is you... I mean your hair is down, are you sure its you!?" I get frustrated and tell him to leave it then (because obviously if he doesn't think its me he's not at liberty to sell me anything).

He then says "No, no, I was just wondering because of your hair" he still has my ID in the air looking at it and then back at me. He does in the end sell me the cigarettes and his colleague next to him says "you've upset her." I then tell him that "he shouldn't treat customers like that" As I walk away he says "sorry miss."

I'd rather he just refused to sell me the cigarettes and I'd have just left, there was no need for this stand off which left me feeling a little bit humiliated. I know that in the big scheme of things it doesn't matter but I really didn't like the way he went on about the whole thing.

I rang the general enquiry line to ask what procedures they'd have in place for bad customer service. I told the rep that I wouldn't want to report him if it meant that he'd lose his job. The rep said in all likelihood he wouldn't lose his job but the store manager would have a word with him and he advised I contact the store directly. So should I call the store manager?

OP posts:
GraysAnalogy · 25/04/2015 19:48

Nope, but I have worked in retail during uni and it's bloody hard especially when you get cats bum mouth customers.

PinkPearlClutcher · 25/04/2015 19:55

Call the store and tell them what happened without naming names. Just say you think staff should be more discreet, they will appreciate it.

(Ex supermarket store trainer here)

PHANTOMnamechanger · 25/04/2015 19:57

Is the problem the tone of the "sorry miss" - like he was pretending he was a school pupil caught out by a stern teacher? I WAS a teacher, and still if people jokingly said sorry miss in this tpe of scenario, it would irritate me.

Surely the correct term for a shop assistant to use would be sir/madam?

Anyway, I'd just think what a twerp and let it go TBH.

Original poster
NoPillows · 25/04/2015 19:58

Sooty still here? How kind of you! I'm very flattered!

I can't quite understand why you started the thread at all.

OP posts:
Kayakwonder · 25/04/2015 19:58

Report him. As part of my job I have to check people's ID and I am at pains to ensure I do not offend/upset anyone. He needs a kick up the bum by his manager as upsetting a a customer (albeit accidentally) is unacceptable.

Dr0pThePirate · 25/04/2015 20:00

I think everyone here getting mad at the OP is just being cats bum faced about not being ID'd themselves Grin

GraysAnalogy · 25/04/2015 20:03

Dr0P Shock how dare you! I'll have you know I got ID'd for a them brick things for a BBQ the other day. Wink

GraysAnalogy · 25/04/2015 20:03

Firelighters.. I meant firelighters.. 'them brick things' indeed.

TheChandler · 25/04/2015 20:12

YANBU. I suspect you picked up that he was being creepy, and holding onto your ID (your property after all) in connection with this.

PeppermintCrayon · 25/04/2015 20:12

I did RTFT. I think YABU.

TidyDancer · 25/04/2015 20:15

If I was his manager I would humour you but knowing how baseless the complaint is I certainly would not give it any more weight than it deserves (little to none).

Dr0pThePirate · 25/04/2015 20:19

Tidy! Shock Do you work in retail? I'm not saying the guy should be hauled over the coals but would you really be happy for your staff to do that?

TidyDancer · 25/04/2015 20:31

Not presently Pirate, no. But I have done and have managed a team. I'm failing to see what the assistant has done that is so bad it warrants a complaint.

LondonLady29 · 25/04/2015 20:34

I think YABU he was very rude and I probably would report him.

WindMeUpAndLetMeGo · 25/04/2015 20:35

He may not have gone about it very well - but it's his job!!! If you were a mystery shopper set up by the police and you were underage he would have received a fine (£60 or £80), would have been questioned by said police and have to report topolice station to pay said fine.

He would then have disciplinary meetings at work etc etc

Original poster
NoPillows · 25/04/2015 20:36

Peppermint in that case then premise of your comment doesn't hold as I had no issue with him IDing me! I fully understood that if I was underage he'd be in for a lot of problems. As I pointed out to you (and your first class knowledge of the law) he wouldn't be imprisoned. The store would be fined and he'd be reprimanded. But alas, as long as you cling on to your 'YABU' I'm sure you'll be just fine. I don't know why you, Sooty and Co don't form a tribute band. I'd pay to get in (provided it was under 18s only).

Tidy Are you auditioning too?? I'm quite good on a recorder. I've memorised 'Mary had a little lamb'! Should we schedule band practice??

OP posts:
Original poster
NoPillows · 25/04/2015 20:46

LondonLady29 Was this a typo? I think YABU he was very rude and I probably would report him.

WindMeUpAndLetMeGo He may not have gone about it very well - but it's his job!!! If you were a mystery shopper set up by the police and you were underage he would have received a fine (£60 or £80), would have been questioned by said police and have to report to police station to pay said fine. He would then have disciplinary meetings at work etc etc

Very glad that you've taken the time to RTFT and indeed my original post before commenting. Because obviously my whole issue was with being ID'd and the potential losses he'd face. I was totally out of order! I was very in the wrong! Imagine if I had been a secret shopper or underage! It would have been awful! Yes he'd still be able to humiliate me for 10minutes and question my hairstyles! But thank God he'd avoid a disciplinary instead of just saying 'No' and letting me move on! God forbid that he hadn't have humiliated me! I should have waited around for more abuse. I'm so happy you obviously see that the issue is him IDing me. Not the humiliation or my willingness to just accept a 'NO' and get on with things. Thanks. Does ur branch of MENSA accept online applications??

OP posts:
Dr0pThePirate · 25/04/2015 20:50

Well he didn't do the ID check quickly and without fuss. He actually made a bit of a mess of it and embarrassed a customer, even another employee pointed this out. It could have been for a laugh but its not how ID checks are done in training so he was in the wrong.

As for the OP, the customer, she certainly didn't to anything wrong. She stood there embarrassed while the member of staff commented on her age and questioned the validity of her ID.

You can't do that to people for a cheap laugh. If I'd done it my manager would be having words. Just because someone doesn't get my jokes doesn't make them a sour puss. It's unprofessional. It's not the end of the world but you can avoid a phone call from HO by not humiliating the customers.

CalleighDoodle · 25/04/2015 20:50

Ive just finished reading the thread. And i know theres no point replying so i actually dont hnderstand why i am. Too much gin i suspect. However,

It comes across like youre a little tense today. Has something else happened today and this was the final straw for you? Was it actually 10 full minutes of checking your ID? As that sounds so very unlikely. Which makes me think youve blown it up to more than it was in your head. As phoning head office to ask abot complaining to the store isnt really a proportional reaction. The man was told at the time he had embarrassed you and he also apologised at the time. I cannot see what more you want from this situation? Having already realised his behaviour embarrassed a customer would (hopefully) make him think twice in future. I do not see what being told the same thing by someone else is going to achieve.

And finally, who smokes these days?!

MrsCaptainReynolds · 25/04/2015 20:52

You were born in 1984 and smoke? Seriously? What possible rational explanation can there be for that. Did you grow up on a desert island and miss the memo?

Perhaps he was just so used to serving cigarettes from an older generation hooked before we all knew how completely stupid smoking is...

MrsCaptainReynolds · 25/04/2015 20:55

Hah! And I've just noticed you mentioning MENSA in a putdown to someone else. Seriously, smoking just epitomises total stupidity for anyone born post 1965.

WindMeUpAndLetMeGo · 25/04/2015 21:06

You are completely over reacting! I constantly get IDd, and am older than you, and yes, I get a few odd comments too, but it's not the end of the world and not worth getting your knickers in a twist over. Have a smoke and calm yourself down

Original poster
NoPillows · 25/04/2015 21:07

Doodle I haven't blown it up to epic proportions in my head as I'd rather not spend that much time thinking about Supermarket exchanges. Yes 10 whole minutes of being investigated and shouted to! I'm honestly not being sarcastic in my response to you, as I have in my last few posts.

It isn't so much as a last straw as it is just someone who took it too far, I'm ok with the odd joke but not this. I can't keep repeating myself but as you've just joined the thread: I have always been ID'd. I never took issue with it. But I've never been made to feel as though I'm in a police line-up. Like I've said, it could have been over with in 10 seconds if he'd just said "Pillows, I can't accept this ID" I would have said thanks and walked on. No need to let the queue build up whilst holding my drivers license by my head making sure that it's still me even if I have my hair down.

Reynolds Yup your right, no-one under 50 smokes Hmm Happy now? And no I didn't grow up on a deserted island and I didn't miss a memo. WTAF

OP posts:
chairmeoh · 25/04/2015 21:10

Once you've made your call to the store, will you be happy to leave them to deal with it as they see fit? Or will you be demanding that they let you know when and how it has been handled?
I only ask because you are coming across as the sort who would revel in knowing how your 'pound of flesh' has een meted out.
FWIW, I would have thought you were being reasonable if you'd simply mentioned it to a duty manager while you were there today, but I do think YABU to have stewed on it and taken it so far.

Original poster
NoPillows · 25/04/2015 21:10

Reynolds Hah! And I've just noticed you mentioning MENSA in a putdown to someone else. Seriously, smoking just epitomises total stupidity for anyone born post 1965.
Hahaha! I'm laughing so hard at that statement. How about you go find a thread that doesn't epitomise a stupid OP?? It wasn't a put down! I'm not good at those... you see it's because I smoke, therefore it messes with my cognitive abilities.

OP posts: