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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Would it BU to report this store clerk to his manager?

200 replies

NoPillows · 25/04/2015 15:04

I've just been into Sainsbury's. I look young for my age (not a stealth boast, it's relevant). Among other things I also bought some alcohol. I went to the self-check out tills where the attending store clerk asked me for ID, checked it and I got on with paying for the items all good so far.

Before leaving the store I went to buy cigarettes. When I asked the person staffing that area for the cigarettes he loudly declares "Gosh! You sound younger than me, do you have any ID" I give him my license and then he looks at it and says "oh 1984!" He then holds my license in the air next to my head and loudly ponders "are you sure this is you... I mean your hair is down, are you sure its you!?" I get frustrated and tell him to leave it then (because obviously if he doesn't think its me he's not at liberty to sell me anything).

He then says "No, no, I was just wondering because of your hair" he still has my ID in the air looking at it and then back at me. He does in the end sell me the cigarettes and his colleague next to him says "you've upset her." I then tell him that "he shouldn't treat customers like that" As I walk away he says "sorry miss."

I'd rather he just refused to sell me the cigarettes and I'd have just left, there was no need for this stand off which left me feeling a little bit humiliated. I know that in the big scheme of things it doesn't matter but I really didn't like the way he went on about the whole thing.

I rang the general enquiry line to ask what procedures they'd have in place for bad customer service. I told the rep that I wouldn't want to report him if it meant that he'd lose his job. The rep said in all likelihood he wouldn't lose his job but the store manager would have a word with him and he advised I contact the store directly. So should I call the store manager?

OP posts:

ShipwreckedAndComatose · 25/04/2015 16:17

I do agree with the thing about how you we're made to feel.

But I do think it's more than a packet of cigarettes. It's about the penalty he faces if he gets it wrong, not the cigarettes.

yippeekiyay2 · 25/04/2015 16:19

I don't think it's worth reporting but I can understand why it would annoy and upset you. I had a similar experience a few months back, I am in my mid 30s and really don't think I look young but seem to often get asked for ID and bought a bottle of wine in m and s while with a friend. At the counter then oldish man asked for ID, I gave him my driving license and he examines it closely...'doesn't look much like you' (it does) just unsurprisingly younger me, I pointed out the license is about 10 years old...anyway he sold it me but it did annoy me that he thought it was amusing (could tell by the look on his face) to make a big deal out of it. Oh well should take it as a compliment to our youthful looks when we get asked I suppose!

Bakeoffcake · 25/04/2015 16:22

Stop drinking and smoking and you won't have this problem

ShipwreckedAndComatose · 25/04/2015 16:29

wickedwitchofwaterloo · 25/04/2015 16:32

I think he was trying to awkwardly flirt with you.
The same sort of thing happened to me because I don't look anything like I did 10 years ago and I now have a massive rose tattooed on my neck/throat. The guy was jokingly asking where the tattoo was and saying was I even old enough to have a tattoo, what did my Mother have to say about it etc.
It was all in jest and awkwardly cute in a way so I laughed along.

PutWittyUsernameHere · 25/04/2015 16:32

The OP is clearly not offended by being asked for ID; she was asked for it during an earlier transaction and it was not an issue. It was the fact that the assistant made such a song and dance about checking her identity, loudly, and drawing attention to her. To some people that would not be too much of an issue, but to a lot of people, who do not especially like unnecessary attention being drawn to them, it would be really quite embarrassing. If the clerk had had any queries over the OP's ID, he could easily have dealt with it in a far more understated way. I personally would have felt mortified in the same situation.

OP, you would be well within your rights to complain, but bear in mind that he was taken to task by you and his colleague, and apologised at the time. Entirely up to you. I would probably leave it, on balance, just speaking for myself.

Original poster

NoPillows · 25/04/2015 16:33

But I do think it's more than a packet of cigarettes. It's about the penalty he faces if he gets it wrong, not the cigarettes.

Ship I totally understand that. Infact if I had been 15 and he sold me cigarettes he'd be fired quicker than I could find a lighter and a park bench. The fact is: he could have just said 'No' and let it be. He instead chose to humiliate me.

BakeOff Perhaps I just might! Perhaps I just might!

OP posts:

GraysAnalogy · 25/04/2015 16:34

He tried to have a laugh with you, I don't think you should have reported him to his manager. He said sorry.

PuppyMonkey · 25/04/2015 16:35

Yabu for calling him a store clerk.

Isthatwhatdemonsdo · 25/04/2015 16:40

He'll probably get a disciplinary now. Sainsburys are arseholes to work for. Poor bloke was having a laugh by the sounds of it. You need to lighten up a bit.

Original poster

NoPillows · 25/04/2015 16:40

Grays I didn't report him! The point of this thread was to ask if I should report him to his manager Please read the original post if still in doubt.

Puppet What's wrong with that? Further down the thread I've called him 'Assistant' and 'Member of staff' I dusted off my thesaurus just to make sure I didn't offend anyone with my terminology. hth

OP posts:

Sagethyme · 25/04/2015 16:41

I can understand why it upset you, but i honestly don't think he meant any harm by it, he obviously thought you were very pretty and was trying (albeit clumsily) to say you look much younger than you are and failing miserably to actually compliment you. The very fact he mumbled sorry speaks volumes. Forget and move on, and have a

snowglobemouse · 25/04/2015 17:15

I think you're getting a hard time on this thread! I'd have felt embarrassed and pissed off too

snowglobemouse · 25/04/2015 17:16

I wouldn't complain though, as he seems to have realised he was in the wrong and apologised

Dr0pThePirate · 25/04/2015 17:18

Wow that was unprofessional of him.I would always let customers know that I needed to see ID for legal reasons and apologise for the inconvenience even if I thought they looked really young. I'd never assume they were lying or wanted me to comment on their age. It's not on.

OP I get ID'd a lot too and it usually a swift painless affair but occasionally you get people who think because you look young then you are and treat you like a naughty teenager. It IS embarrassing when this happens and if you're sure the member of staff was making a dogs dinner out of doing his job properly to deliberately embarrass you then you're fine letting the shop know.

Incidentally if someone's really nice or does their job well you should give the shop feedback on this too!

DoJo · 25/04/2015 17:55

I have a very good looking friend in her early forties and she gets asked for ID all the time by male shop assistants as a lame way of finding out her name and address

This is so creepy.

Original poster

NoPillows · 25/04/2015 18:26

I've decided to call, I know it's minor in the big scheme of things but I'm going to give the store manager a call now. He shouldn't do or have done that. And he certainly shouldn't make people feel small whatever his reasons. I don't care if he was trying to 'flirt' with me and it went wrong. The fact remains that he should have been professional about the whole thing. This isn't a case of 'cheer up love, it may never happen' - that I can get over but he stood there making me feel like an idiot just for buying some cigarettes.

OP posts:

laughingcow13 · 25/04/2015 18:41

Because if he said 'I think this ID is fake , I am not serving you' he would likely get a big complaint.You might not, but 99% of people I think would take exception to being accused of forgery and deception.

GraysAnalogy · 25/04/2015 18:43

sorry ffs I misread_

Well I hope he gets nothing more than a slap on the wrists. Jobs are heard enough to find without folk getting into trouble for trying to have a joke

GraysAnalogy · 25/04/2015 18:43

hard*

ShipwreckedAndComatose · 25/04/2015 18:49

I agree laughingcow.

ilovesooty · 25/04/2015 18:55

Well if it makes you feel better get on with it.

KingJoffreyFanciesDarylDixon · 25/04/2015 18:57

I still think you're doing the right thing.

It's only a 'joke' if the other person finds it funny. If the other person gets upset then it's pretty much bullying.

And flirting? I doubt flirting with customers is allowed.

chiefbrody · 25/04/2015 19:01

I think he was trying to joke with you mistaking you for a nice friendly and amiable customer.

He got it wrong.

ilovesooty · 25/04/2015 19:02

So he'll probably get a disciplinary or even lose his job. Hope you're happy.
Why couldn't you just talk to the duty supervisor at the time if you were upset?

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