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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would it BU to report this store clerk to his manager?

200 replies

NoPillows · 25/04/2015 15:04

I've just been into Sainsbury's. I look young for my age (not a stealth boast, it's relevant). Among other things I also bought some alcohol. I went to the self-check out tills where the attending store clerk asked me for ID, checked it and I got on with paying for the items all good so far.

Before leaving the store I went to buy cigarettes. When I asked the person staffing that area for the cigarettes he loudly declares "Gosh! You sound younger than me, do you have any ID" I give him my license and then he looks at it and says "oh 1984!" He then holds my license in the air next to my head and loudly ponders "are you sure this is you... I mean your hair is down, are you sure its you!?" I get frustrated and tell him to leave it then (because obviously if he doesn't think its me he's not at liberty to sell me anything).

He then says "No, no, I was just wondering because of your hair" he still has my ID in the air looking at it and then back at me. He does in the end sell me the cigarettes and his colleague next to him says "you've upset her." I then tell him that "he shouldn't treat customers like that" As I walk away he says "sorry miss."

I'd rather he just refused to sell me the cigarettes and I'd have just left, there was no need for this stand off which left me feeling a little bit humiliated. I know that in the big scheme of things it doesn't matter but I really didn't like the way he went on about the whole thing.

I rang the general enquiry line to ask what procedures they'd have in place for bad customer service. I told the rep that I wouldn't want to report him if it meant that he'd lose his job. The rep said in all likelihood he wouldn't lose his job but the store manager would have a word with him and he advised I contact the store directly. So should I call the store manager?

OP posts:
Dr0pThePirate · 25/04/2015 19:04

Grays he will probably be reminded to be professional which is all he needs. OP did nothing wrong but was left feel embarrassed. I've asked for ID loads of times but never turned it into drawn out saga like the OP described. It's over and done with pretty quickly and I've never had a complaint about it. This guy might have been trying to be funny but there was no need to hold the ID up to her head an um and ah over it.

I think he thought she was younger than she was therefore was fair game to a bit of ribbing but it backfired. He'll just be reminded how to ID properly in future.

MusicForTheMasses · 25/04/2015 19:06

They can lose their job if they sell cigarettes or alcohol to people who may look close to the ID age (25 I think). I would be flattered.

Justusemyname · 25/04/2015 19:07

Probably trying to do you a favour since smoking is a stupid thing to do.

Clawdy · 25/04/2015 19:08

What a lot of fuss over what was basically a bit of silly banter, for which he apologised. Hope you can live with yourself, No Pillows. And you took no notice of people's comments on here,so why did you post at all?

ilovesooty · 25/04/2015 19:08

I hope he does just get a reminder. I wouldn't bet on it.

GraysAnalogy · 25/04/2015 19:08

It's only a 'joke' if the other person finds it funny. If the other person gets upset then it's pretty much bullying

Bullying for failing at a joke Hmm

He said 'sorry miss'. Nice and polite apology. I think he probably felt embarrassed too.

But that isn't good enough for the OP and she wants validation from his manager. Probably the offer of a free voucher.

ilovesooty · 25/04/2015 19:09

Ah the goodwill voucher. I hadn't thought of that.

ShipwreckedAndComatose · 25/04/2015 19:15

It was a single event. Bullying, by definition requires repetition. Hmm

Original poster
NoPillows · 25/04/2015 19:20

Because if he said 'I think this ID is fake , I am not serving you' he would likely get a big complaint.You might not, but 99% of people I think would take exception to being accused of forgery and deception.

No laughingcow because in that instance then the customer would have been very right to complain. If their ID was then found to be valid then the assistant would then be re-trained as to what a valid ID should be and apologise. It might take a bit of back and forth but at least the assistant was trying to be diligent and the customer would receive some sort of apology. (The flip side could be someone successfully buying cigarettes with a fake ID and that would really have landed their staff in hot water). I see nothing wrong with staff being inquisitive if for nothing then to cover their own backs - see my description of being ID'd for knives. It's just another alternative scenario in my opinion.

Grays Apparently he'll just be spoken to by the deputy manager. Nothing more than that and he won't lose his job.

Sooty It's not about making me feel better. Not in the slightest. It's that I hope he doesn't do this sort of thing often. The proper thing to do would have been to just say 'NO' and I would have walked away. Even if he thought it was a fake ID or not my own ID, he could have just said 'No, I won't serve you'. There was fundamentally no need for the parade of drama.

Chief then it was his mistake. I worked in retail years ago during my Uni days and the only people I had a joke with were my friends that would pop in. Not some random woman who I assumed would be 'amiable'. God knows what would be going on in someone's life. And if I ever had a 'laugh' with a customer I would take the lead from them not just foist some joke on them expecting them to play along!

OP posts:
PeppermintCrayon · 25/04/2015 19:24

Difference is they are guarding against a potential threat or unlawful entry to the country. Not a packet of cigarettes.

Packet of cigarettes sold to underage customer = potential prison sentence. YABU!

Original poster
NoPillows · 25/04/2015 19:26

Sooty & Grays I didn't want a 'goodwill' voucher, kind of you to assume that I'm an opportunist seeking for a free meal ticket. It makes me smile actually considering I have never in my life sought a free-ride from anyone. But here we have a couple of randoms on the internet that have declared me to be so. In the 20 years I've shopped in that store as a child and now an adult, please enlighten me why has it taken me this long to engineer free voucher of sorts? Thanks, here have some Flowers from me. Do tell... What's the next investigation Sherlock??

OP posts:
GraysAnalogy · 25/04/2015 19:27

AIBU?

No I'm not I'm ringing anyway

Original poster
NoPillows · 25/04/2015 19:30

Peppermint RTFT! Packet of cigarettes sold to underage customer = potential prison sentence. YABU!

I know this. I understand this! So he could have just said 'NO' ... if he chose to elaborate on potential prison sentences (though actually it'd be a fine, not imprisonment) he was very much in the right to do so. I accept that! What he shouldn't have done was put on a show about it. Just say, "Pillows, I don't think this is your ID, I won't sell you anything" then fine. Everyone gets on with their day!

OP posts:
Original poster
NoPillows · 25/04/2015 19:32

Grays Are you feeling particularly fantastic this evening?? I'm sure there are other AIBU threads for you to spread your wisdom on! Don't let the door hit you on your way out.

OP posts:
Clawdy · 25/04/2015 19:34

NoPillows you are beginning to protest too much.....

Dr0pThePirate · 25/04/2015 19:34

Also the member of staff needs to be seen to do ID checks properly. Joking around and banter could look like he's not checking them so it's something his manager would probably pull him up for eventually if he carried on that way. Not for embarrassing anyone but not for taking it seriously.

GraysAnalogy · 25/04/2015 19:34

I'm fine thank you. I just think you've been particularly vindictive in regards to this.

You had an apology, he obviously realised he'd overstepped the mark. Yet that wasn't enough for you.

Anyway it's your choice but it's people like you that really make me feel uncomfortable when I'm trying to be friendly at work, god forbid I make a crappy joke and end up being reported for it.

Original poster
NoPillows · 25/04/2015 19:37

Hope you can live with yourself, No Pillows. Thanks Clawdy I'll definitely try. Up here in NoPillows Ivory Tower it's dinner time. I'll manage somehow. Thanks for your concern!

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 25/04/2015 19:41

I can't quite understand why you started the thread at all. Most people thought it was heavy handed to complain but you went ahead and did it. You appear quite gleeful about it now which doesn't seem pleasant.

TidyDancer · 25/04/2015 19:42

Anyone would think he'd sworn at the OP, given how slighted she appears to be by this! If the assistant has a good manager then he will probably let him know the complaint has been made but tell him not to worry because it's daft. If it's a bad manager he could be in trouble. Either way I'm not sure what the OP thinks she will achieve from this.

TidyDancer · 25/04/2015 19:43

ilovesooty- exactly.

ilovesooty · 25/04/2015 19:44

And you still haven't said why you didn't have a word at the time if you were upset.
Making a calculated decision to phone later really does seem vindictive.

Madamecastafiore · 25/04/2015 19:45

I've completely missed why you are offended?

PutWittyUsernameHere · 25/04/2015 19:45

Blimey, some people are getting het up over this! OP, I think that the assistant was just trying to have a joke, but he misjudged it and you were left feeling embarrassed. Calling it bullying, as a pp did, is going a bit far, but I certainly agree that foisting a joke on a customer you don't know and expecting them to play along is not right. He did apologise when it was pointed out that he went too far, and tbh I think he probably feels quite embarrassed about it. I very much doubt that a tiny misdemeanour like this would lead to anything more than a chat with his manager, as long as you don't make it out to be more than it was (and I don't assume you would).

On a separate note, I wish I got ID'd sometimes... Blush

TenerifeSea · 25/04/2015 19:46

Grays were you the sales assistant? Grin