to expect child next door not to run, bang and scream all night and keep us all awake?

[Jaleh]

I'm at end of tether! We moved into our 2-bedroom flat 7 weeks ago, it's 12-months contract so can't move again just yet.
I run my business from home. DH gets up 6am for work but none of us can sleep much because selfish NDN don't control their child!

NDN have child he is about 2 or 3. He sleeps until middle of every day (blissful silence until then) but then he is screaming, shouting, tantruming and running stomping in their flat, noise doesn't stop until approx 3am. He is very very loud and walls are very very thin and floors are wooden so even gentle footsteps make loud echo. In daytime it's maddening because I'm trying to work. I can't hear clients on phone in my bedroom (furthest room from party-wall) and they say they can hear him down phone! I wear earplugs all day but they just muffle noise so it's still big problem to concentrate. Can't wear them at night as I need to hear my own DC if get up or call for me.

Me, DH and our DC are waking 5-6 times a night, often noise is so bad we can't return to sleep for hours. Just when it becomes quiet, he starts screaming and running again. Sounds like he is running wall-wall screaming at same time, slamming himself into party-wall. He also hits party-wall with toys and bangs on walls and floor all night.

When I knock on their door no-one ever answers, even when I know they are at home and I knock many times. So 2 weeks ago I wrote a polite message and put it under their door but nothing is different and they don't acknowledge message.

AIBU to think it is very very wrong to allow child to behave like this? My DC never banged on walls in night, never allowed to run about in night. It is a block of flats not a playground!! What can I do?

People should also conaider that if a child with SN is kicking off it doesn't mean there is bad or neglectful parenting involved.

I have considered that. But there is potentially a child who is not being looked after here and people seem to be saying that SS shouldn't be contacted because some people on an internet forum have diagnosed SN on the basis of two posts.

I don't really think that makes it any more acceptable to ignore the fact that there might be a child in danger any more than just not being arsed to pick up the phone TBH. If they are struggling SS can offer support. If not they will close the case.

But they should be called.

If it is only sn then ss will not offer any support, not for a child of that age.

Thats true Zazzie and they are the only ones who can assess if this behaviour is down to SN or down to other factors, none of which we know about.

This is all pure speculation and some people seem to be taking it incredibly personally the suggestion that a) some kids can just be a nightmare with no SN involved and b) as Wizard said, having a child with special needs doesnt make you less likely to be a neglectful parent. In fact I would say that it may make a certain type of parent, the type that would be neglectful to any child of theirs, more likely to be neglectful based on the higher needs that a child with SN often has, meaning more work for a parent who would have only done the bare minimum with a non SN child.

I was at school with a woman who had several children, one of whom has a severe life limiting condition. He was the first to be taken into care on the basis of medication not being given, appointments not attended and physio not done. She has shortened his life even further. I know this because my mum is friends with the Grandmother who is now fostering all of the children as they were eventually removed too. She was a bad mother to all of them, but the child with the condition suffered more.

Ss will be able to assess if child is being neglected ie not fed, left alone, filthy house etc. They will not be interested in any sn the child may or may not be have (I'm talking sn not medical needs).

I realise that but SW can access doctor and health visitor records and if there are any concerns, signpost to the right help. As I said above, the child could be both SN and neglected, and in this case I think a call to SS would not be inappropriate.

I don't have kids so can't comment from a parent's point of view and I do understand that living full time with the issue must be awful and frustrating but the kid upstairs from us is like this.

He must be around 3 now and I swear his parents strap some tap shoes on him and let him run riot - it's like a never ending rendition of Bring In Da Noise, Bring In Da Funk. He doesn't seem to sleep either, the thundering around is still going after 11pm most nights. The parents don't seem to speak much English, they just shrug and nod apologetically so we stopped saying anything. I sympathise OP.