to expect child next door not to run, bang and scream all night and keep us all awake?

[Jaleh]

I'm at end of tether! We moved into our 2-bedroom flat 7 weeks ago, it's 12-months contract so can't move again just yet.
I run my business from home. DH gets up 6am for work but none of us can sleep much because selfish NDN don't control their child!

NDN have child he is about 2 or 3. He sleeps until middle of every day (blissful silence until then) but then he is screaming, shouting, tantruming and running stomping in their flat, noise doesn't stop until approx 3am. He is very very loud and walls are very very thin and floors are wooden so even gentle footsteps make loud echo. In daytime it's maddening because I'm trying to work. I can't hear clients on phone in my bedroom (furthest room from party-wall) and they say they can hear him down phone! I wear earplugs all day but they just muffle noise so it's still big problem to concentrate. Can't wear them at night as I need to hear my own DC if get up or call for me.

Me, DH and our DC are waking 5-6 times a night, often noise is so bad we can't return to sleep for hours. Just when it becomes quiet, he starts screaming and running again. Sounds like he is running wall-wall screaming at same time, slamming himself into party-wall. He also hits party-wall with toys and bangs on walls and floor all night.

When I knock on their door no-one ever answers, even when I know they are at home and I knock many times. So 2 weeks ago I wrote a polite message and put it under their door but nothing is different and they don't acknowledge message.

AIBU to think it is very very wrong to allow child to behave like this? My DC never banged on walls in night, never allowed to run about in night. It is a block of flats not a playground!! What can I do?

He might have special needs It was only a matter of time...

Read icebeings posts then come back and say that.

I'm not sure why "he might have special needs" is being greeted with eye-rolling, it's the first thing I thought of because the only child I know with that kind of weird sleep pattern/wall-banging has atypical autism.

Because people are bullies and like to shut down mention of SN.

Anyway Ice said it perfectly. Anyone whinging about mentioning SN now must just either be goading or unable to understand basic statistics.

Or both.

Whatever the cause the neighbours should be trying to minimise the inconvenience to the OP's family and they aren't.

Complain to the LL on a weekly basis.

How do you know they aren't.

I sympathise, we have the same problem with the 3 yr old in the flat above us.
2 AM running up and down, banging on the floor, throwing herself at the walls etc.
They move at the end of the month and I can not wait.

If the landlords/letting agents have had similar problems with these same noisy neighbours in the past, why did they not mention them to you before you signed the lease? They must have known that some/most potential tenants would not like to live with excessive noise. IMHO it appears disingenuous of them not to have mentioned it. (I say that in the layperson's sense of the word - am not a lawyer.) Can any Mumsnetter with legal knowlege say whether letting agents have some sort of 'duty of care' or 'duty of disclosure' in cases of this sort? I simply do not know.

So far as I know, if local authorities have had to intervene over noise nuisance, that fact usually comes up in searches done before a house is purchased, because - quite rightly - excessive noise is considered to affect the marketability of the house.

You might not want to do this, but in your position, if I really wanted to end the tenancy early, I would get advice from the local authority/CAB/housing charity/solicitor, and get back to the landlords/letting agents.

Am I right in that you've only been there for two months? (12 month contract with 10 months to go?) If so, then I wonder if this might be night terrors? It sounds like our DS was at 3yo, with the night-time noise and the throwing himself against the wall. It was horrible and there was nothing at all we could do about it, but be calm and be with him till it passed. After about three or four months it stopped of its own accord. Might be grasping at straws, but if it is this, then you may have to just bear it but it should pass before too long.

Fanjo it's obvious that they aren't trying because they are ignoring OP's calls and her note. Most people would talk to the neighbours in these circumstances not ignore them.

Hello everyone

We understand that this thread may be touching on sensitive and personal issues for many posters. Please have a look at some common myths surrounding special needs here, part of our This is My Child campaign.

Thanks all- as you were.

Of course it is perfectly reasonable to bring up the idea that the child might have special needs - how bloody ridiculous.

I do think though, that whether the child has special needs or not, the family should talk to the op about the situation, especially considering the fact that the op put a note through.

My ds can make a lot of noise, and had such horrendous reflux that he would scream for a large part of the night, regardless of anything we did. Sometimes when he wakes in the night, he is beside himself and screams like a banshee. Our next door neighbour is wonderful and patient, and we have always been open and up front about it all (and bought her several bottles of wine) - it is difficult, because we are limited in how we can reduce the noise, but the one thing we can do is acknowledge that it can't be very pleasant for her!

Fanjo, whether the child had SEN or not doesn't change anything for the OP and her family. They are still living with horrendous noise and nightly disturbance. Even if child has SEN, OP still needs to sleep, relax and earn a living, and her DC need to concentrate at school.

I have a lot of sympathy for families affected by SEN. But I don't think SEN is an excuse to let child behave like OP's neighbours' child. It doesn't sound like they're doing much to reduce the noise or stop child running/banging at night.

There is always one.

It might not be so easy to stop him. Although yes they should answer the note. Can't assume they are doing nothing though.

I wonder if, since the letting agent was aware of the noise problem and didn't inform you, it could be grounds for getting out of the contract.

I love how by saying people should be allowed to mention SN and that it's not possible to assume they aren't trying as it's not always that easy, I am assumed to be saying people with kids with SN think they can let the kids do what they want.

That would be great. I spend many a night keeping DD quiet though. And moved furniture around etc.

Separate issue.

Auntymag one what?

I think you have grounds to get out of the tenancy agreement early if the letting agent knew and didn't tell you.

So, if we assume the child has SEN... What's the resolution? There is no guarantee the child will ever stop the nocturnal activity. What is reasonable as a way forward for both families? You will notice I haven't suggested an outcome, that is because I couldn't think of one that didn't involve a flat that couldn't be tenanted or discriminating against the child. Can anyone?

No..it is tricky.

Wall padding, professional sleep advice. Sleep inducing medication.

If you assume they are doing everything they can, what happens then? I am honestly interested, I haven't been in the situation.