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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be uncomfortable with friends getting naked on holiday??

198 replies

Notlookingforwardtothis · 22/04/2015 09:01

We're due to go to Spain in June with another family to a shared villa with a pool. Both families have 2 dd, roughly aged 12 and 14. The other day my friend mentioned that she and her husband like to sunbathe and swim naked when on holiday. I'm sure my horrified face gave away my reaction to that comment! AIBU to ask that they wear swimsuits around the pool area?

OP posts:
6Musiclover · 23/04/2015 14:43

There is absoloutely nothing natural in grown men and women choosing to be naked in front of teenage girls. Anyone who thinks this is acceptable wouldn't be any friend of mine!

Ionone · 23/04/2015 15:53

It honestly wouldn't bother me (I can totally see it might bother your daughters, though).

Sallyingforth · 23/04/2015 16:18

There is absoloutely nothing natural in grown men and women choosing to be naked in front of teenage girls.

Cobblers!
It's not a question of 'choosing' anything. If you grown up being comfortable with your body in its natural (I stress natural) state then you don't even think about it.
No doubt if you had been born in Victorian times you would have thought knees were indecent. Fortunately in spite of many people's prejudices we are gradually becoming awar that there is nothing indecent about the human body.
And that nudity does not equal sexual activity.

Sparklingbrook · 23/04/2015 16:44

Be interesting to find out what happens...

Christinayangstwistedsister · 23/04/2015 16:52

Well, that's one set of holiday snaps I wouldn't be sharing.....

MarianneSolong · 23/04/2015 16:56

Aren't bikinis rather indecent? After all they do emphasise/focus attention on breasts and crotch area?

Sparklingbrook · 23/04/2015 17:17

i would imagine they will be on FB Christina what with it being a totally normal thing to do. Grin

Sallyingforth · 23/04/2015 18:04

Aren't bikinis rather indecent? After all they do emphasise/focus attention on breasts and crotch area?

Yes, Marianne. You have probably seen my post on the parallel thread.
It's very odd that some people consider they should cover up certain parts of their body, and then wear garments to emphasize and draw attention to the very parts they claim to be hiding.

Very strange...

Sparklingbrook · 23/04/2015 18:11

I don't get that at all. Confused So wearing a bikini is less acceptable in public than being naked?

WhoreGasm · 23/04/2015 18:27

"You simply do not have the only or final say on what's 'acceptable' in our culture."

This isn't about if I have the final say on whether this is acceptable in our culture. I am saying that nudity in front of people who are not your immediate family just isn't part of our culture. So obviously it's not considered acceptable in most people's minds.

Trying to dilute this down to 'not being someone's cup of tea' is a bit silly. Middle aged men parading around naked in front of teenage girls is going to incite a more intense reaction that just a 'meh, I'm not fussed.'

And I can't think the OP is that friendly with these people else the subject of their nakedness would have been mooted before.

WhoreGasm · 23/04/2015 18:33

So wearing a bikini or a cropped t-shirt and micro shorts is more indecent than full frontal nudity striding round the pool area.

Only on Mumsnet Grin Only ever, ever on Mumsnet Grin

I am not uncomfortable with nudity. My children still see me naked. My Mum still occasionally sees me naked (when I was in labour and in the bath). My 2 best friends have seen me in the buff many a time over the years.

But I draw the line at strangers, acquaintances, mixed couple friends and their children seeing me naked.

Like most people would do.

6Musiclover · 23/04/2015 18:41

Yep, only on Mumsnet is it seen by some as acceptable for a middle aged man (and woman) to parade their tackle in front of teenage girls. Thank god it doesn't reflect real lifeGrin

Christinayangstwistedsister · 23/04/2015 18:46

I would rather see my friends dh in his "indecent" trunks ( or god forbid budgie smugglers) than in the scuddy, especially in front of teenage daughters

Christinayangstwistedsister · 23/04/2015 18:47

Sparkling

I do recall your naked BBQ pictures all over Facebook...how is dh after the cooking sparks incident?????

Sparklingbrook · 23/04/2015 18:52

YY Chris how we laughed. Grin Then we changed into our swimwear to be even more shocking. Shock

WhoreGasm · 23/04/2015 18:59

Oh dear.

Have we reached that awkward moment when the nudists realise that we aren't admiring them as unfettered, free spirited, children of nature. And instead are wincing pityingly with a barely supressed "Eeewwwww, my eyes my eyes"

Grin
Sallyingforth · 23/04/2015 19:03

Yes, very funny. But you have of course deliberately misread what was said.
If bikinis were designed purely for modesty, to cover up the bits of the body that so frighten you, they would be designed differently.
Most bikini tops are designed to lift, separate and enhance the breasts, rather than just cover them. They are designed to flatter and attract attention to the parts that you claim to be hiding.
But do carry on laughing under your structural engineered garments, and your 'modest' white bits. We'll enjoy the sun all over, covered only by SPF50.

Christinayangstwistedsister · 23/04/2015 19:03

I have never had a hotdog since.....

WillowSpider · 23/04/2015 19:19

Topless is fair enough on hols, - I never go topless but last year we were on hols with our friends who all went topless, my kids didn't bat an eyelid. But butt naked? why does anyone want to see anyone else's naked particulars?

I would want to object to that, for my own reasons not just for my children.

It's just not nice.

Sallyingforth · 23/04/2015 19:19

Your choice!

RenataFlitworth · 23/04/2015 19:26

YANBU to ask them to wear swimsuits when in the pool area.
Be prepared, however, for them to give you an answer you may not like, and remember that they are entitled to do so because it's their holiday too.
Hopefully as you are close enough to share holidays you are close enough to be able to come to some arrangement without upset.
If you can't agree then perhaps it would be best to cancel and make plans for a holiday where you are all comfortable and can spend it how you like, and if that means not going together then so be it. You are as entitled to enjoy your holiday and not feel uncomfortable as much as your friends are to spend some time naked around the pool. It's a shame they didn't mention it before it was booked. Perhaps as it's the usual for them it has only just occurred to them to tell you.

As an aside, we went on hols with my parents' friends every year when younger and always went to nudist places. As a child/teenager you cringe (because parents are embarrassing enough at that age, naked or not), but there was never any funny business, us kids (5 of us from 3 sets of parents) were never expected or even encouraged to be nude ourselves, and you do actually get used to it. Please don't assume your friends have a sinister motive, as has been suggested on this thread, because they like to swim in the nude.

Original poster
Notlookingforwardtothis · 23/04/2015 19:47

Until it was mentioned on here, I hadn't given a thought to any underlying 'sinister motives'. And if friends like to be naked around the pool when it's just their family, then I've no problem with that. But I still stick to my original opinion that it's just not for me.

My friend's teen daughter is currently going through the stage of finding anything her dad does embarrassing and she's apparently already made comments about not wanting to see him in the buff on holiday, so I'm sure the issue could be solved already!

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 23/04/2015 19:49

So what's the plan Not?

WhoreGasm · 23/04/2015 20:24

Well I can't speak for anyone else, but most definitely YES I do require a bikini top to lift and separate my boobs. Because otherwise I would have one matronly mono-boob suspended around my navel. Which is not only visually distressing, but also physically very uncomfortable.

But I do take care to always buy a bikini in a hideously unflattering puce colour and endeavour to get bleached out sun-cream splashes on it, just in case anyone thought I was trying to look remotely attractive or anyfink Wink

WhoreGasm · 23/04/2015 20:26

When I say sinister, what I'm really envisaging is a form of bullying i.e. 'Look this is what makes us happy, and if you don't agree with that then there's something unhealthily repressed and rather unforgiving about you.'