AIBU to be uncomfortable with friends getting naked on holiday??

[Notlookingforwardtothis]

We're due to go to Spain in June with another family to a shared villa with a pool. Both families have 2 dd, roughly aged 12 and 14. The other day my friend mentioned that she and her husband like to sunbathe and swim naked when on holiday. I'm sure my horrified face gave away my reaction to that comment! AIBU to ask that they wear swimsuits around the pool area?

I would have to say this is not acceptable to my family, we are very happy with nudity (my little one sleeps naked most of the time and I often have no top on in bed) BUT that is in our own home. My 15 year old would be beyond mortified if friends were naked around her and it would ruin the holiday.

My mum's cousin came to stay with her aging hippy boyfriend one summer. Our Labrador and I found him strolling around the farm one morning utterly naked apart from some socks and hiking boots - the lovely Bertie was outraged.

I don't understand the nudity thing, at 17 it made me feel pretty uncomfortable and angry as well as amused.

I second the idea about encouraging your daughters to snigger.

Poor Bertie!

Yes, I'm definitely going to encourage the sniggering to make public nudity seem as lame and laughable as possible.

It's not acceptable at all imo

If they want to be naked there's nothing wrong with that, but they should go to a nudist beach or go on holiday alone.

I wouldn't like this either. If they want to do this they should go to a nudist beach. The thought of seeing anyone's bits and pieces hanging out would put me right off my Ice Cream.

I once au paired for a naturist French family. It was OK and became normal after a while. I didn't take my bikini briefs off though. I suppose it's different if you've only seen them with clothes on.

She wants a bit more than a holiday with you, cancel!

saltnpepa I was a bit worried about that!

How long have you known them and why don't they holiday with people they have holidayed with before? Why you? There is no way I'd be going and that is something she should have mentioned before booking not now. She's testing the water, like to get naked is step one. Cancel because you can't go happily now.

to make public nudity seem as lame and laughable as possible

Now that's not really on. There is nothing wrong with public nudity as long as all involved are happy. Your friends family are obviously comfortable with nudity in this way. You could be said to be being equally unreasonable by being so uptight and prudish that you are going to insist that they have to enjoy their holiday less to save your feelings.

If.its.not too late I think you should holiday seperatly so that neither of you has their holiday spoiled.

Being friends I am surprised you were completely unaware of this though
...

A shared holiday is all about lines in the sand compromise.

Maybe an allocated daily nudie time when you do something else as a family?

Stuff like this is why I would never dream of going on holiday with anyone but us

Some of you are utterly hilarious.

I don't think you'd BU to tell them how uncomfortable nudity makes you, OP, but I don't think they're BU in finding it normal. They probably don't think you're unreasonable so much as oddly prudish.

Definitely you ANBU, especially with teenagers.

Having said that, as someone else said it's the norm in some countries. I remember going to stay with family friends in Germany when I was 13 (ie just beginning puberty, REALLY self-conscious) and went to a pool complex with saunas etc where everyone was naked. I was horrified at seeing the father of the family in the altogether but everyone else seemed to think it totally normal, there were loads of families including kids and teens there.

I thought it was inappropriate when my boss told me she went topless on holiday even after her 13yo DS had asked her not to - she found it hilarious how uncomfortable he was

But to announce that you and your husband will parade around in the scud in front of someone else's young daughters is just not on. I'd tell her flat out that it's either a swimming costume or you're not going.

These are nudists. You honestly think they are going to be put off by the sniggerings of a couple of early teenage girls? I'm thinking, they won't give a flying fig.

As for actually encouraging your daughters to snigger at others, really?. Not sure what to say to that, other I think that is totally crap parenting.

So , what I would do is be honest. Say you are surprised that they wait to tell you about this fairly uncommon holiday preference after you have booked the holiday. Explain that the girls are at that age when they see very easily embarrassed and you would really prefer if maybe they did it when you and family weren't about.

I'd worry about the OPs daughter saying yuck when she sees her own mother naked more than I'd worry about anything else. It's pretty sad to pass on all this body shame to the next generation.

So YANBU to ask them not to do this given how you and your family feel.

YABU to find human bodies shameful or disgusting.

YABVU to pass that sense of shame and disgust onto your children.

As for your daughter saying "yuck" when she she's you naked OP? I think you have bigger problems than your holiday companions

I wouldn't feel comfortable for my children to be around naked adults (that are not perents). It's unbelievably creepy and YANBU and they have no right to take their clothes off in front of children. Simple!

Enjoyingmycoffee1981

Are you kidding? I don't see bodies as shameful but the thought of seeing my mum or dad in the buff makes me throw up in my mouth.

If it was a close friend I wouldn't mind. It seems very OTT that a teen would say yuck seeing you get out of the shower. They're just bodies- we all have them.

Well, YANBU in that it's not their private holiday and they should be aware of other's preferences. Maybe come to a friendly compromise; tell them your children are at an age when nakedness is very uncomfortable for them, and agree to 'sessions' when they can use the pool and sunbathe naked and your family knows to stay away.

But YABU to even countenance encouraging sniggering and YANBU to say 'public nudity' is 'lame and laughable'. Why on earth do you think this?

It's unbelievably creepy and ... they have no right to take their clothes off in front of children

Get a grip.

Soontobe, that may well be, can't say I would relish seeing a parent starkers, but to actually say "yuck", don't you think that it a bit disrespectful to say to anyone, least of all your mother in her own home.

Cancel. Now. There is something fishy in all that. For me, no matter costs, I would cancel.
No way I would be able to rest during such holidays with people who are not able to understand how inappropriate it is to get naked in front of teenage (girls or boys) when it is not in the family's habits.
And I live in The Netherlands, DH is Dutch, we go often to saunas (here all of them are nudists sauna mandatory) and we are not prude.
It's a question of context and habits of each family.
You are clearly not compatible and they surely know it.
Them booking the holidays with you shows some very weird intentions.
My alarm bells would explode. As do yours, or you would not be posting about it. Listen to your instinct.

why are you going in term time?

Why do you want to know - so you can lecture on about irresponsible parents taking children out of school?

And you are making a big assumption OP is in England - do you realise Scottish school holidays start in June for example.