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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be uncomfortable with friends getting naked on holiday??

198 replies

Notlookingforwardtothis · 22/04/2015 09:01

We're due to go to Spain in June with another family to a shared villa with a pool. Both families have 2 dd, roughly aged 12 and 14. The other day my friend mentioned that she and her husband like to sunbathe and swim naked when on holiday. I'm sure my horrified face gave away my reaction to that comment! AIBU to ask that they wear swimsuits around the pool area?

OP posts:
SoonToBeMrsB · 22/04/2015 12:21

Enjoyingmycoffee1981 teenagers are generally rude and disrespectful at times. I wouldn't say "yuck" if I saw my mum starkers but I still wouldn't be comfortable!

Enjoyingmycoffee1981 · 22/04/2015 12:22

Soontobe, I would never have said that to my mum, and my daughter would never say that to me. Different standards I guess.

OfaFrenchMind · 22/04/2015 12:23

As a concept, naked bodies are ok. But not my parents. Never. Ever. (Even if I personally think that my mom is a 59 yo babe :) )
And no, older naked guys are not ok with anybody if this is not the way you are brought up. That would be a great way to spoil the holidays.

coffeetasteslikeshit · 22/04/2015 12:24

Well you've told her, so that's that now. If she thinks you're be unreasonable, so be it, but as you, and the vast majority of people, don't think you're being unreasonable then tough, she'll have to suck it up.

Maybe you could have a family day out or two, leaving them at the villa to do what they want?

OnlyLovers · 22/04/2015 12:24

Blimunda, your post is paranoid and offensive. Someone's intentions are 'fishy' and 'weird' because they happen to like swimming and sunbathing nude?

FFS.

Enjoyingmycoffee1981 · 22/04/2015 12:26

Two very clear group on this thread.

Those that are horrified and think you should cancel or should make it as uncomfortable for them as possible, by encouraging your daughters to snigger etc.

Those that agree you are not being unreasonable at all to be perturbed by this, but rather than encouraging disrespect from your daughters or cancelling, to actually communicate with them and ask them to respect your preference that they are not naked around you or your daughters. Presumably you are friends if you were going on holiday with them, so talking to them shouldn't be too hard.

I urge you to go with the latter group.

FanFuckingTastic · 22/04/2015 12:28

I don't think you are being unreasonable and I get naked on holiday myself. With children around I'd not be comfortable doing so, I think it's reasonable to ask them to cover up around the children.

SillyPops · 22/04/2015 12:29

Perhaps suggest that topless is fine (you get it on Spanish beaches anyway), but bottomless is not.

Explain that it would make your daughters, and yourselves really uncomfortable. Suggest they find a nudist beach!

cestlavielife · 22/04/2015 12:30

they dont need to wear swimsuits - you would barely notice if they in the pool - and you could ask them to drape towel over their bits when sat down and wrap a wrap around when they go to the kitchen for food.

bodies are natural, you can be more matter of fact about it - skinny dipping in a pool on a hot holiday is great feeling. your kids will also love it if you let them...

it's not sexual unless there is something else going on here...

IceBeing · 22/04/2015 12:32

why is it horribly inappropriate for children to see naked bodies?

I genuinely don't get that.

cestlavielife · 22/04/2015 12:33

why should they go to a nudist beach when they have a private pool? you could talk more about setting times for nude ness and when you are out....you could also try it yourself... when they out if you not convinced.

KERALA1 · 22/04/2015 12:33

Also the whole sitting on shared chairs / sunbeds while baked - gross

KERALA1 · 22/04/2015 12:33

Naked not baked!

IceBeing · 22/04/2015 12:35

If more children saw more normal naked bodies, maybe we wouldn't have such problems with children feeling they are ugly because they don't have bodies like the ones in magazines/on the internet.

For me it can only be either that bodies are shameful and hence children shouldn't see them, or bodies aren't shameful and it is fine that children see them.

It is contradictory to say you don't think bodies are shameful but children shouldn't be exposed to them.

cestlavielife · 22/04/2015 12:36

they would sit on their own towel or wrap KERALAI.

they wouldnt make a point of waving their bits at op's daughters.

honestly, you would barely notice after a while.

Original poster
Notlookingforwardtothis · 22/04/2015 12:38

In response to comments that I'm a prude with body issues: I don't think I'm a prude and I spent a very relaxing day at a nudist beach many years ago. I certainly don't find naked bodies shameful or disgusting (BTW daughter was making teenage joke with 'gross' comment). But I personally would feel uncomfortable with naked friends running around the pool with my dd around.

Having spoken to my friend, I'm sure that they will keep swimsuits on whilst children are about. Like someone suggested, we will probably have a couple of family days out and they can do what they like then!

Very interesting to see difference of opinions though!

OP posts:
CrystalCove · 22/04/2015 12:38

I dont find nudity and naked bodies disgusting or shameful or anything like that - just not something I want to see when Im relaxing on holiday, especially people I know!

OnlyLovers · 22/04/2015 12:39

It is contradictory to say you don't think bodies are shameful but children shouldn't be exposed to them.

Quite.

Calloh · 22/04/2015 12:40

I don't think anyone was seriously suggesting sniggering at people's bodies so that they feel uncomfortable - I thought it was more of a light-hearted suggestion.

Of course the much better way of dealing with it would be to leave them to it on some days.

cestlavielife · 22/04/2015 12:41

they wont be running around the pool tho will they? they will lie and sunbathe then get up and swim. ... if your daughters are sat at other end they will barely notice . encourage a more healthy attitude towards bodies...

cestlavielife · 22/04/2015 12:42

seeing people you know in swimming costumes is fairly revealing anyways.

NeedABumChange · 22/04/2015 12:43

Are they European? This would be really normal behaviours in plenty of places.

I think it's odd as it's just them and you but I would be happy going to a nudist beach with them.

CrabbyTheCrabster · 22/04/2015 12:54

Some hilarious and just plain annoying hyperbole on this thread. Grin

the thought of seeing my mum or dad in the buff makes me throw up in my mouth

It doesn't really though, does it.

To all the posters who are adamant that anyone who enjoys being naked on holiday must be a paedo or a predatory swinger... are you not aware that nudity is seen as a completely normal state of being in other countries?

It's not my bag and I wouldn't be comfortable with it but FFS enough with the accusations of sinister intentions! Hmm

IceBeing · 22/04/2015 13:03

I saw my DM naked for the first time shortly before she died from skin cancer. It didn't make me feel sick even though she was covered in melanoma.

Wishful80smontage · 22/04/2015 13:14

If you're going to feel uncomfortable on holiday then I would cancel.
They have brought it up now to broach the subject which is good as they are acknowledging that it could be an issue by dropping it in conversation- what was your friends response to what you said OP?
Maybe you could just say again that you would feel really uncomfortable with it again and see what they say?
I personally wouldn't be ok with this either

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