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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask if anyone is actually against lgbt+ ?

250 replies

tictocstar · 20/04/2015 19:05

If so why? Please people no attacking I am genuinely curious. I know American is more homophobic than UK, and I think (hopefully!) this thread will be empty, but anyone with any experiences or suchlike?

Also please don't accuse me of being homophobic.
(may sound ridic to epect to be accused, but when asking someone this,^ was the reply...)

OP posts:
Jasonandyawegunorts · 20/04/2015 19:31

A real world example: A bisexual woman can be attracted to both men and women who identify as such. A pansexual woman can be attracted to both men and women who identify as such, plus men who identify as female and women who identify as male.

Or, in the real world, anyone can love anyone.

Galvanized · 20/04/2015 19:32

Maddie - trans people will tell you your last para is transphobic. I agree with you though.

Where do furries fit into this acronym?

ThingummyJigg · 20/04/2015 19:34

FishCanFly - please expand?

Genuinely, I would like to know why people are against gay marriage etc, if anyone can logicallly and calmly talk about it. I think it would be hard to do on here tbh, so I wouldn't blame anyone for name changing.

I had a nail technician who said "ugh, why do they need to get married, they have civil partnerships, it's enough surely?" but a) she couldn't really say why she thought that and b) I didn't like to push her as she might have totally fucked up my nails Blush I did, however, vote with my cash and I've not been back to her.

Of all the isms and phobias and intolerances, I think homophobia baffles me most.

Justusemyname · 20/04/2015 19:35

There was a poster a few years ago whose husband liked utensils.....

OrlandoWoolf · 20/04/2015 19:35

A pansexual woman can be attracted to both men and women who identify as such, plus men who identify as female and women who identify as male

Anyone can be attracted to anyone - regardless of who they are.

Janethegirl · 20/04/2015 19:35

What 2 (or more) consenting adults get up to is fine by me, so long as I'm not expected to participate Grin

Moln · 20/04/2015 19:35

I certainly do agree that trans people face massive discrimination, even from those that'd consider themselves ok with homosexuality and bisexuality. So by default transsexual face discrimination (because they might be in a relationship with someone trans ifkwim)

PHANTOMnamechanger · 20/04/2015 19:36

today I was informed about grey-sexuals demi-sexuals and sapio-sexuals by my daughter. I honestly have no idea what those are but according to her, they are a thing.

^ Confused what are they?

MzunguMzungu · 20/04/2015 19:36

But identifying with gender doesn't change physical sex so people attracted to them are still just bisexual surely?

dejarderoncar · 20/04/2015 19:37

I would suggest this as a good test; how many MNers could truthfully say without a shadow of doubt that they would not mind at all what sexual identity their child/ren have or might have.

TinklyLittleLaugh · 20/04/2015 19:37

We had a minister at church a few months ago, who, when he was leading prayers, spouted an incredibly hate filled tirade against gay marriage. The level of vitriol was very nasty. I was so shocked I actually stopped praying and sat up straight and looked around. I wasn't the only one. I did think about walking out.

After the service, everyone I spoke too was unhappy about him; we are an easy going, inclusive bunch. We haven't had the nasty old bigot back since.

OrlandoWoolf · 20/04/2015 19:40

dejard

I don't care what or how DS identifies. He is aware of LGBT people and I am very careful to use the word boyfriend / girlfriend if we ever talk about the future. And of course, I also try to emphasise he might not even be in any kind of relationship.

People normalise heterosexuality by hidden messages.

PHANTOMnamechanger · 20/04/2015 19:40

tinkly, that's awful -is your congregation able to complain to the bishop/whoever??

I just hope my DC grow up happy and confident and find partners who treat them well

Feckeggblue · 20/04/2015 19:41

I've met a few gays who are anti bisexuals and a few gay men who hate lesbians. One gay man I thought was a self hating homophobe but he was clearly quite messed up.

General population i don't know but being straight I haven't really experienced it- I have gay friends who have been abused which is quite surprising to me

dejarderoncar · 20/04/2015 19:41

jane ok so you're asexual! (or maybe prefer to keep all your love for youself...)

MadBannersAndCopPorn · 20/04/2015 19:42

I wouldn't mind what sexuality, gender etc my children chose. I would feel bad that I knew they were in for a harder time than hetros because of the hate and ignorance in our society but I wouldn't give a hoot. They're my children, I'd always live them the same and their independent happiness is my goal

PHANTOMnamechanger · 20/04/2015 19:42

oh yes, and that they don't feel any pressure at all from us or society to have a partner at all, if they don't want to

Now that's an interesting one actually - lots of people accept LGBT etc, but can't understand people who are asexual or choose celibacy.

MzunguMzungu · 20/04/2015 19:44

I have to say I wouldn't agree if objectophiles were allowed to marry in church.

SenecaFalls · 20/04/2015 19:45

I know American is more homophobic than UK

This is a tremendous over-generalization and over-simplification. As an example, same sex marriage was legal in several US states long before it was legal anywhere in the UK.

Momagain1 · 20/04/2015 19:46

Quote from Wiki - Pansexuality, is sexual attraction, sexual desire, romantic love, or emotional attraction toward people of any sex or gender identity

So, in old fashioned language bi-sexual????

There are more than 2 options so they are more than bi-.

People the opposite or the same gender as themselves.

People who are either gender but identify with the other gender (to whatever degree, whether that is cross-dressing for fun or always, living as the other gender, or surgically altering themselves).

People who identify with the other gender than they were born displaying sometimes like sexual partners of the gender they were orignally, and sometimes the one they identify with. (Which isnt quite the same as being gay, though it may seems so at first glance.) a pansexual is willing to be considered shaggable by someone who approaches them from this background.

Pan sexual doesnt mean they will and do have sex with everyone that offers, but they will entertain offers/make offers with individuals from all categories, they don't exclude by category.

TinklyLittleLaugh · 20/04/2015 19:47

Well I don't care what sexual identity my kids have; DH's brother is gay, as is DD1's best female friend since childhood. I always assumed DS1 was gay but he's has a girlfriend for the last couple of years. DD2 is 16 and utterly uninterested in boys, (has just blown out the sporting hero, darling of the school). She really loves her best mate though, and they are very "couply". She will tell me anything she feels I need to know.

MzunguMzungu · 20/04/2015 19:50

So everyone apart from Asexuals are pansexual then? Cos I'm not sure how anyone can know what gender other people identify with ( if any)

OrlandoWoolf · 20/04/2015 19:59

It's actually useful for some groups to know which "group" people identify with.

There are people who are attracted to the opposite sex - but would not be comfortable with a trans person. That is one of the hardest things for trans people - meeting people who are comfortable with being in a relationship with them.

If you knew someone was comfortable with being in a relationship with a transperson, that is a massive weight of their shoulders.

ShowMeYourTARDIS · 20/04/2015 19:59

I don't think this has been answered...queer is used as all encompassing term for anyone who isn't cisgender and hetereosexual. I'm American and it's pretty commonly used here. Personally, I don't have a preference between being called gay, lesbian or queer.

Queer used to be a derogatory term but the community took it back and now uses it with pride. Some people don't like it, but most do in my experience.

"Bisexual" doesn't include people whose gender identities don't fall neatly into the gender binary. "Pansexual" includes people of all gender identities. Neither is right or better, they're just different.

Galvanized can you expand on what you mean? I don't understand how having LGBT events erases lesbians.

Moln · 20/04/2015 20:00

I really don't think pan sexual is difficult to understand is it? It's not bi sexual for certain. My understanding is:

Bi sexual means attracted to either a man (born and lives as a man) and women (born and lives as a woman)

Pan sexual attracted to men or women regardless of if they were born to that gender, live as that gender or dress as that gender.

Obviously you could be bisexual or heterosexual and attracted to someone that is transgender but when you aren't aware. It whether you remain attracted once you discover that they are transgender (post OP or pre OP)

I do stand to be corrected though!