OH loves to walk...but worries mums might think he's a paedo

[Dowser]

I can't or don't always want to go with him.

So, he's been on his morning constitutional avoiding schools and parks ( probably crossing over the road if he sees a woman on her own approaching him).

He came in wearing some new shorts. I said they look like baggy shorts, have you lost weight.

No, he said, these are my walking shorts. They look like I'm out for a walk and I'm not a paedo.

I'm sniggering here at his logic. I wouldn't even say it was short wearing weather but I feel quite sad for him.

He's misses not having dogs any more. He had dogs for 30 years , and he felt a dog gave him a legitimate reason to walk and not look like a paedo in the park.

Anyone else got a male walk loving OH and how do they overcome this problem.

I think to be fair OH feels more sensitive about it since Jimmy Savile.

I've read the whole thread actually, Galrick. I don't understand why Mathanxiety needs a Praetorian Guard though. She's as likely to be challenged in her views as anyone else, and putting forward that view is hardly 'kicking off'; perhaps only certain posters are allowed respect?

Like I said, I deal in facts, not windy nonsense and sweeping generalisations based on one persons perception of an event.
As for expecting men to change their behaviour, where does this end?
Women are more likely to shoplift, should they always have a male chaperone when in retail premises?
I think people need to take responsibility for their own actions and preconceptions. Yes you are entitled to walk wherever you want, whenever you want to. I personally make sure I am aware of my surroundings and carry phone / keys in my hand.
I also am entitled to leave my front door open when out and the keys in the ignition of my car when parked but I understand that by making those choices I increase my chances of being the victim of a crime.

Just reread mathanxiety's "problematic" post. The "if" was clearly rhetorical. But it was, unfortunately, a "hook" which enable people to ignore th rest of what she says. A common technique.

Just a thought. Should all police officers get outraged when they are asked to prove their identity before they go into someone's house? Do you check the credentials of meter readers? Because only a tiny minority of police officers or meter readers aren't genuine- how very dare you suggest otherwise by checking on all of them?

I'm not talking about rhetorical devices, this isn't GCSE Philosophy. I disagree with a lot of Mathanxiety's other posts too; we all have a right to disagree with another poster's opinion.

"I'm not talking about rhetorical devices, this isn't GCSE Philosophy. I disagree with a lot of Mathanxiety's other posts too; we all have a right to disagree with another poster's opinion."

Of course we do. But disagreeing with something she didn't say because you didn't understand the way she said it is a bit daft, no? Which is what a lot of people are doing. A kneejerk "Mathanxiety said all men are rapists- I disagree- my father/brother/husband/ isn't" gets us nowhere.

Addressing her actual point might.

My husband loves a walk, and I'd honestly never given a thought to what he looks like, and I doubt he has either. I guess he either wears jeans, or in the summer, shorts from Fat Face or similar. I don't think they're particularly baggy. Its really sad that your husband can't enjoy a walk because of worrying about this.

I just don't agree with the men need to change. My dad doesn't need to or my brothers

If your dad and your brothers don't already speak out against the power that is used against women in this society then they do need to change.

They should call out other men when they hear the rape jokes or the verbal objectification of women.

It is so true that rapists see all of that as affirmation of what they do and of what they believe about women and what they believe about what they are entitled to do.

The casual contempt for women and the casual superior attitude expressed by men and the actual physical assault of women are all of a piece. It is all done to demonstrate power and to feel power.

All men need to recognise that and to dismantle the climate that makes all those expressions of power possible.

Yes you are entitled to walk wherever you want, whenever you want to. I personally make sure I am aware of my surroundings and carry phone / keys in my hand.

I also am entitled to leave my front door open when out and the keys in the ignition of my car when parked but I understand that by making those choices I increase my chances of being the victim of a crime.

And there it is, in a nutshell.

A woman out walking alone/at night is equated to leaving the keys in the ignition or leaving the door unlocked.

I am pretty sure you did not mean to provide a demonstration of the mindset that leads to rape but thank you for illustrating so well what women are up against.

Amen, Mathanxiety, to both posts.

Deary me. We walk past loads of men out walking alone during the day. One goes past our house about 20 times a day (we think he has some kind of problem with his legs where he needs to keep moving, as he also has a mobility scooter). DH has even seen him out walking at 12am. I've never even thought he might be a paedophile..because he's not. Just a man out walking alone.

Your DH seems to be overthinking this. It's almost like he's trying to cover something up .