to think many people let their children make way too much noise in public places?

[LilacWine7]

I really hate the sound of kids screeching and yelling and misbehaving. It shocks me how many parents seem to think this is normal and ignore it. For example, in IKEA last weekend I was trying to talk to a sales assistant and there were at least 10 kids running round shouting at tops of voices, squealing and climbing on furniture (including climbing up shelving units in full view of parents). AIBU to think IKEA is not a children's playground? By the time we left I had a splitting headache.
It's the same on public transport, in waiting-rooms, in queues, in supermarkets, in cafes, at the local zoo, even during lamb-feeding session at pets corner. (BTW I'm not talking about the odd tantrum I'm talking about parents wilfully ignoring the racket their kids make).

Last week I had an appointment at early pregnancy unit (for HG). The waiting room was full of women who looked just as ill as I felt and was located on the actual ward, so lots of ladies in bed right behind the wall. A couple came in with 3 boys age about 2, 3 and 5. The boys were shouting excitedly to each other, jumping on and off chairs, shouting across the room, and even ripped 2 posters off the wall. It went on for 40mins, until they were called in to see doctor. Parents told them to be quiet a few times then just ignored them. How is this acceptable parenting??

When I was a child we were taught to be respectful. We didn't scream and yell whenever we felt like it. The only places we were permitted to make as much noise as we wanted were in park, beach, playground or in the countryside. We had a big garden but were reminded to keep noise down so it didn't upset neighbours, and there was certainly no screeching indoors. My NDN's kids frequently scream and shout in garden for hours, spoiling the peace for anyone wanting to read or relax outside. Why are people so selfish?

Has society suddenly become noisier, are more children spoilt brats nowadays, or have I just become oversensitive?

YANBU

As long as they are properly trying to control their children, I don't have a problem if it's not 100% effective. Showing no interest, or the occasional half hearted attempt, does my head in.

Lmao at stifling poor Harrison's creativity.

YoutheCat, I was this close to stifling Harrison's creativity... With a bloody crack round the ear! He genuinely was one of those naughty kids, mainly because Mum just did nothing...

Mum tailed along behind him and said every fifteen minutes or so "Harrison, be nice or I'll put you on eBay".

Did you helpfully point out to her that ebay doesn't allow selling children?

I didn't, unfortunately, Alice although I should have done haha although this was mainly because I was trying very hard not to pick him up by the scruff of the neck and give him my grade one, laser quality, patented Wyld evil eye...

Children with sn can be in mainstream school with little extra support who will go on to have careers and families. They can also be in special school, non verbal, in nappies and be functioning similarly to a 6 month old although they may not be in a wheelchair and at first glance may not look disabled. Saying if some children with sn can behave then so can others is ridiculous.

But it's not children I object to. I actually work with children and most of them are absolutely lovely. It's the ineffective parenting as described above.

Goldenbear, that is a really offensive thing to say, regarding child abuse. Seriously not on.

Yy Goldenbear

Where have I had any jovial exchange about physically assaulting a child?

If I didn't like children, I wouldn't work with them.

Goldenbear , your comments about sexual abuse are absurd and have been reported. As many on this thread have said, including myself, it is not children that people object to but ineffectual and lackadaisical parenting which at times injures or puts others at harm. By failing to parent, these parents are ruining experiences for others, including very well behaved children.

Time before last when we went to IKEA my dd did a wee on the floor. Just thought I'd add that.

Where did Wyld say she wanted to assault a child?

The language you use is threatening and aggressive to describe the boy in your anecdote and you're a fully grown, mature adult, do you not see the irony in that?

Where is it threatening and aggressive?

Goldenbear, by the tone of mine and many other posts the glaring is clearly intended in a light hearted manner - I don't think there is a single poster on MN who would genuinely pick up a child to glare at them. The majority of the tone of the thread has been around children behaving badly due to poor parenting and the degree of frustration borne out by the ineffective and often dangerous style of parenting. Are you seriously insinuating that adults have kept quiet and covered up the Rotherham abuse to teach children a lesson or punish them in a some way?! That is quite ridiculous and I would imagine to be exceptionally insulting to people who are in any way shape or form attached to that particular horrific incident. In that instance it is clearly absurd and highly offensive.

It would appear that you have set out to be professionally offended by this thread in a manner in which it has not been intended by the vast majority of posters, and it is for this reason that I have reported your horrid comments regarding Rotherham.

OP, I apologise that your thread has been hijacked in this manner.

Come off it, tedious but:

'Youthecat, I was this close to stifling Harrison's creativity.....With a bloody crack round the ear!'

'I was trying very hard not to pick him up by the scruff of the neck'

I would suggest you re-read my longer post above, particularly with regards to your comments regarding Rotherham. It is abundantly clear that there would be no physical contact between myself (and I would suspect the majority of posters) and a child regardless of how irritating their behaviour was. I apologise unreservedly if you have been offended by this - however, I stand by my comments as having been intended to be light hearted and used in emphasis of the degree of irritation borne by substandard and frankly dangerous parenting.

Some parents I think have just got used to their children being very loud and noisy, and don't seem to notice it anymore, and think those who complain are being unfair.
Often these seem to be more middle class kids.
Not talking here about tantrums, or even kids peeing on the floor, but just kids who are constantly loud and shreeky all the time. Exhausting for everyone.

I was in Primarni this week and felt very similar to the OP. My kids are not the best behaved but, my God, there are parents out there who do nothing to control their childrens behaviour. There were young kids going round on scooters, older kids playing tag and running into people, shrieking/shouting like they were in bloody softplay or something (and I wouldn't actually let my kids carry on like that in softplay).

That was so very clearly just talk. I don't for a second believe Wyldchyld would actually assault a child. And likening this thread to the child abuse in Rotherham is just bizarre and very wrong, imo.

There is a huge difference between children running around shops and cafes screaming and not being parented to children with SNs being noisy.

Running around shops and cafes etc is not acceptable - whoever you are or whatever SNs you may have.

And I say that as a parent with a child who has SN. Who was a complete nightmare toddler/young child - didn't stay still etc - had no volume control and can barely control it now at 10yo. He would want to run off and create havoc, he also did run around inappropriately continously occasionally.
However - I hope the fact he would be returned to seat, taken outside, taken home etc would mean no one judged me because they could see I was dealing with it. I'm also hoping that's why he is doing it far less now - because we've spent hours on social stories etc to help him understand. I'd like to think the number of times I've cried for hours out of frustration have been worth it!

However, if my DS was running around, Costa - for example and I was texting, giving comments aimed at thin air and not him and not following through - I would expect people to be annoyed with me. I would not expect someone to think - ah maybe he has SNs.
If/when he's sat still on a chair and every now and then has a noisy outburst or meltdown I don't expect people to tut or raise an eyebrow. Noise and meltdowns are things that can't be controlled - plenty of nt children have them too. Hell, even adults get cross.

But there's a HUGE difference between noise and unacceptable and dangerous behaviour.

I am totally pro inclusion and tolerance but fear if campaigning for inclusion goes alongside the message that disabled people can behave how they like because they have SN and their parents are under pressure then we are creating bigger problems.

So much work needs to be done for the disabled community - but it needs to be done as a nation not small groups fighting individually for their own type of disability to be acknowledged and accepted.

It's not 'likening' and you know that. There is a broader problem in Britain of people still believing 'children should be seen and not heard'. This British idea of children definitely contributed to these crimes being covered up.