to think many people let their children make way too much noise in public places?

[LilacWine7]

I really hate the sound of kids screeching and yelling and misbehaving. It shocks me how many parents seem to think this is normal and ignore it. For example, in IKEA last weekend I was trying to talk to a sales assistant and there were at least 10 kids running round shouting at tops of voices, squealing and climbing on furniture (including climbing up shelving units in full view of parents). AIBU to think IKEA is not a children's playground? By the time we left I had a splitting headache.
It's the same on public transport, in waiting-rooms, in queues, in supermarkets, in cafes, at the local zoo, even during lamb-feeding session at pets corner. (BTW I'm not talking about the odd tantrum I'm talking about parents wilfully ignoring the racket their kids make).

Last week I had an appointment at early pregnancy unit (for HG). The waiting room was full of women who looked just as ill as I felt and was located on the actual ward, so lots of ladies in bed right behind the wall. A couple came in with 3 boys age about 2, 3 and 5. The boys were shouting excitedly to each other, jumping on and off chairs, shouting across the room, and even ripped 2 posters off the wall. It went on for 40mins, until they were called in to see doctor. Parents told them to be quiet a few times then just ignored them. How is this acceptable parenting??

When I was a child we were taught to be respectful. We didn't scream and yell whenever we felt like it. The only places we were permitted to make as much noise as we wanted were in park, beach, playground or in the countryside. We had a big garden but were reminded to keep noise down so it didn't upset neighbours, and there was certainly no screeching indoors. My NDN's kids frequently scream and shout in garden for hours, spoiling the peace for anyone wanting to read or relax outside. Why are people so selfish?

Has society suddenly become noisier, are more children spoilt brats nowadays, or have I just become oversensitive?

My dcs (3 and 6) sat for 20 minutes at the vet, entertaining themselves playing Lego Create on the tablet, so quiet i nearly went without them! They can be good if given something to do, otherwise they will find a way to entertain themselves...
I'm sure I still qualify as a Crap Parent for excess screen time but when they are Having Noisy Fun I don't think the ambience is much improved by my feeble increasingly voluble attempts to control them. It must be lovely to have quiet kids, mine can't even sleep quietly. I could give the gaffer tape a go...

With all of this going on we still don't let ours run around and scream when were out.They always behave themselves because they know they have to.

Well.. aren't you lucky? Everyone's children are different. This isn't a flaming competition. Lots of children get the high rate of disability and still struggle in public venues.

Removal from the area is useless if the appointment you are waiting for is for the child. Removal from the area by one parent is slightly more problematic if there is just one parent and it's somewhere you have to be.

I doubt that anyone intends to ruin anyone's day, but I find that tolerance (and keeping one's nasty opinions to oneself in public either by comments or tutting) goes a long way.

Sabrina00
I don't know where you live but I certainly wouldn't let my children out all day unsupervised.
For a start I live across from a major road in a busy city, not in the middle of the countryside. Would I be doing my job as a parent if I chucked them out in the morning and said go on don't come back unilateral sunset. What would they be doing, annoying everyone else, wandering round the street.
I used to live near 2 families who used to do this, hey had elder siblings "look after" the younger ones.
Within a few weeks of them moving in one of their three year olds was jumping on a glass recycling bin, the lid gave way and he child fell in and cut his back, the mother then strode and proudly told us all she would be suing the local authority!!!!

ohtheholidays

I don't think your lucky, your situation sounds horrendous and I am sorry

Kind of puts things in perspective

It's the parenting that I can't stand or rather lack of it not the children.Should have said that before.

I love children,I'd rather spend time in general with children than adults.Children have an excuse they're children Adults don't!

Kitty it really doesn't matter. Regardless of what you do, people will find some reason to complain. If it's not the noise, it's the fact they're on screens (but at least they're quiet!), if you're chatting with them then it's "loud parenting." If both parents are present, it's "why didn't one parent stay at home with the child? Why do they have to go out as a family?" regardless of the fact that they don't have any flaming idea what your plans are for the day that might actually mean the children are with you. Even if you DO remove the child, people still get all sniffy because they were noisy and disruptive to begin with.

So might as well just not worry about what others think.

Oh, and my parents back in the seventies routinely left us kids in the car when they had stuff to do - always 'seeing a man about a dog' as I recall. I spent many a happy hour playing in the multistorey carpark lifts, running back to the car before they got back! I wouldn't dream of doing that but no doubt the waiting rooms they were in were a lot quieter.

And we never got a bloody dog!

Of course you can send your kids out to run around! Perhaps a long arduous family walk would make kids hungry for their dinner and keener to sit and eat.
My SIL won't take her kids to the park September-may (too coooooold, said in whiny voice), or in the wet 'they don't like wellies, not fashionable' and God forbid anyone's hair should get frizzy or they end up on FB with wind strewn hair and ruddy cheeks ('oh the shaaaaame').
We live in urban S London and find loads of opportunities for DC to be out and about, independent and active. It is many or some adults who have a wet and nesh outlook.

ohthe holidays

Me too, I think it is why I drag ds to so many places and have his friends over so often...Although he has drawn the line at taking me to frozen 2

Why should I avoid Pizza Express with a friend e.g. on a Sunday just because children are running amok in there?

I quite often meet friends (voucher codes etc) and go to Cafe Rouge, Pizza Express etc at the weekends. I'm damned if I should be told I should avoid these restaurants. I don't CARE if children are there, playing, talking etc…. e.g. I can zone them out and happily enjoy my meal with them in close proximity.

I don't necessarily frequent places with lots of children (there's a very cute cafe in Dulwich Park like this) but only because it's very crowded at the weekends and with a long queue, not because children are there.

SN children and children under 5 are the exception to the shrieking, running amok rule in my opinion (yes it's hard to keep a toddler quiet etc). But of course there are SN parents on this thread who've pointed out that yes they can also parent their SN child. When your child gets to a certain age they need to be able to behave in public.

Can't remember who said it but in Costa and other restaurants I've lost count (and so have other people) of children who run around, screeching or playing and bumping into waiting staff carrying hot food and drink. However there are an equal number of parents with children who don't run around.

I bet the parents here would be the first ones to screech 'insurance claim' if their little darling was scalded by a waitress carrying a hot coffee after their child bumped into them whilst running around…

Alice lucky are you taking the fing piss!

Yes well lucky,I'm dying and won't get to see my kids grow up.Bloody moronic thing to say!

Yes and I said mine do bloody struggle,I just don't expect to be able to affect everyone else's life because of it.Why should I!

I have been the one parent,I was on my own with 4DC,amongst them was our son that is disabled and our son that is going deaf and a newborn breastfeeding baby that had bad lungs.

I still removed us from the situation if I had to.

And even if it is an appointment for one of the children we still remove ourselves,I'd wait outside if I had to and tell who ever the appointment was with that that is what were doing because one of or both of our disabled children aren't coping and it's not fair on everyone else that is waiting!And we have multiple appointments every single month with several specialists and we have to travel for over an hour to other hospitals all the time because some of the specialists are only available at specific hospitals.

Quite right Alice it's just nice not to be shown up by my dcs, thank God for the tablet!

Hairy

We are in Scotland, so if we were waiting on good weather we would never get out!

Love going to park/woods with ds and him coming home with his wee cheeks all rosey

Christina thank you,that's very kind of you.

Xposted with OhTheHolidays agreeing with the 'never being able to win' comment

There are thousands of normal happy families out and about, with and without kids with SN, that I never feel the need to complain about, getting on with fun activities, finding ways to manage boredom in waiting rooms etc etc. I am sure many posters on this thread agree. So no need for this 'oh no one can do anything right so might as well not bother, and make it all about me and take it personally ' martyrdom!

Christina you could take our youngest daughter to see Frozen and you wouldn't have to drag her.

She'd very kindly teach you all the words to all the songs and all the dance moves.She could also act out every part of every scene in the film for you a hundred times over.

Your tempted now aren't you

It annoys me when it always gets blamed on an SEN as well or disability.

Honestly you will find a lot of the children don't have any disability or condition.I've known parents like the one's described and they're kids have no SEN,no behavioral problems,no disability just parents that suffered with Can'tbearseditus.

Yanbu, I recently had the most horrendous train journey because of kids being allowed to run wild. There was about 7 or 8 kids, 3 mothers and 1 nan, all sat in front, behind and next to me. I know the kids were excited but the screeching and shouting was unbelievable. I kept waiting for one of the mums to shush them but she didn't. The girl who was sat next to me kept spinning her head round to talk to someone behind and every time she did I got her long hair whipped across my face. The mother saw it but never said a word. Just bad parenting I'm afraid.

I cant see what all the fuss is about.

Most parents do attempt to parent their children properly and get them to behave appropriately in public. Sometimes they fail - maybe because their children are toddlers (not always possible to stop a 2 yr old shrieking), or because theyre children have SN, or because their kids are just playing up that day or for myriad other reasons. Maybe they just were being a 'crap parent' that day. Boo hiss

I cant recall the last time I saw marauding, unruly kids shrieking on public transport, or in doctors surgeries (unless they were bored or unwell toddlers) etc.

OP, I think you're either exaggerating or have very low tolerance for noise.

And YABVVVU expecting Ikea shopping to be a pleasant and serene experience .

Yessssss, how do you know I don't know all the words and dance moves............

God your a lot better than me.I seem to manage to zone out when the film is on.DH is much better he knows as much as DD.Not sure if hell appreciate me saying that or not.

If parents are attempting to stop / control their kids, I have no problem at all. It's the parents who are moseying along on their phone whilst the kids cause havoc and danger which irritates me!

DH and I went to an open air museum (quite expensive day out for us) and knew it was half term, there would be kids. There were tons of them, all running about and exploring and having a good time. Lots of them were noisy. There were only a handful who really irritated DH and I - the kids who kept running in front of the traffic playing chicken (at one point causing an attendant to run into the road and pull one kid out of the path of a bus) whilst mum and dad had a cigarette and played on their phones are one such example. When the attendant told them, they actually had the gall to shout at him "for scaring their son".

The other one was a nightmare called Harrison (amazing how I know his name!!) He was about eight and kept trying to kick the animals in the farm, threw stones at them, punched DH's leg because " he was in the way" and climbed all over everything (including into the animal pens). Mum tailed along behind him and said every fifteen minutes or so "Harrison, be nice or I'll put you on eBay". He screamed at the animals to wake them up and, when told he couldn't go upstairs as it was roped off and a private house, went running of up the stairs whilst Mum berated the attendant for trying to stop him cause he was "expressing his creativity ". We ended up walking around near this family for ages as we were on the same part and I could have cheerfully throttled Mum for being so useless!

Regardless of what you do, people will find some reason to complain.
No they won't, if you do your best to stop your kids from running wild and disturbing everyone else they won't complain. It's the parents who just sit back and let it all happen that get complained about.