to think many people let their children make way too much noise in public places?

[LilacWine7]

I really hate the sound of kids screeching and yelling and misbehaving. It shocks me how many parents seem to think this is normal and ignore it. For example, in IKEA last weekend I was trying to talk to a sales assistant and there were at least 10 kids running round shouting at tops of voices, squealing and climbing on furniture (including climbing up shelving units in full view of parents). AIBU to think IKEA is not a children's playground? By the time we left I had a splitting headache.
It's the same on public transport, in waiting-rooms, in queues, in supermarkets, in cafes, at the local zoo, even during lamb-feeding session at pets corner. (BTW I'm not talking about the odd tantrum I'm talking about parents wilfully ignoring the racket their kids make).

Last week I had an appointment at early pregnancy unit (for HG). The waiting room was full of women who looked just as ill as I felt and was located on the actual ward, so lots of ladies in bed right behind the wall. A couple came in with 3 boys age about 2, 3 and 5. The boys were shouting excitedly to each other, jumping on and off chairs, shouting across the room, and even ripped 2 posters off the wall. It went on for 40mins, until they were called in to see doctor. Parents told them to be quiet a few times then just ignored them. How is this acceptable parenting??

When I was a child we were taught to be respectful. We didn't scream and yell whenever we felt like it. The only places we were permitted to make as much noise as we wanted were in park, beach, playground or in the countryside. We had a big garden but were reminded to keep noise down so it didn't upset neighbours, and there was certainly no screeching indoors. My NDN's kids frequently scream and shout in garden for hours, spoiling the peace for anyone wanting to read or relax outside. Why are people so selfish?

Has society suddenly become noisier, are more children spoilt brats nowadays, or have I just become oversensitive?

Banged on walls, starting swearing, saying bloody kids, parading back and forth, looking in the windows. I very rarely open the curtains.

I know this might be easier said than done but you have every right to make a noise in your own home. What your neighbours are doing is harassment. Go about your daily business. Let your child play. And log every single bit of intimidation from your neighbours. They are harassing you and your family.

Would a community police officer be able to have a word with them?

What YouTheCat said. Even if you did let your children play in the garden all day every day, you wouldn't be doing anything wrong! The police and environmental health would not be remotely interested in their "noise pollution" unless it was at an unreasonable hour.

Your neighbors are harassing you! The police would be far more interested in their intimidating behaviour.

I do worry about the noise, as it is often reflected on mn threads. No noise early, late, in your house, in your yard, restaurants, supermarkets, the street, town. It does make you become reclusive sometimes worrying about it.

maninyellowhat I know. I've had people make comments about ds1's noise (he was physically contained, mind you, in a wheelchair trolley, so JUST noise) to me in the supermarket and it's all I can do to refrain from saying "Seriously? Dude, it's ASDA!! It's not CHURCH FFS!"

Do they think I'm not aware of it or something?

This week has been my first outings since breaking my leg after Xmas & hibernating at home for 14 weeks. As a secondary teacher & mother of 3 (grown-up) DC, I'm used to all age DC & parent noise & actually enjoy it, and accept tantrums, meltdowns, teenage sulks etc., I don't even notice it. HOWEVER in the Library this week there was no escape from the booming loud poshly-spoken Granny SHOUTING a book, complete with animal noises, mocking Aussie accent etc. to her approx 5 year old DG who was not listening, not invited to inter-act, squirming to get away & look at books herself. There was no escape ... I don't want libraries to be places of silence but this was f*ing annoying !

They drive me mad too, dd1 was always so lovely and quiet that i think she spoiled me. Think the second one might be trouble... ;)

To be fair though, it is half term, they are probably going a whole bunch of boring places because life doesn't stop for those 2 weeks I'm afraid. Some kids do just find it so difficult to sit down. I imagine that trip to pizza hut would be hell too!

And you have to expect ikea to be a bloody nightmare, so more fool you for going there. I love it, but I can imagine it is horrendous as it's so fun to mess around there

I think yabu, but that drs etc are unreasonable also and make things harder.

In ours you are not allowed to take pushchairs in, despite there being plenty of room and manky old carpet tiles, then there is a sign about children running around yeah, ok then help me out a bit.

I have two little boys, so am partly immune to noise. When they go to Ikea (which is rare, because it sends me bezerk, all those frigging cupboards for them to hide in, all those things to touch, mirrors to lick, pencils to steal, it's like hell on earth) they probably do make too much noise for other customers. But Ikea is hardly an upmarket fine dining establishment ideally suited to adults. If you want peace, go somewhere children won't be.

As for noise in gardens, children need to run around and be silly. I'm a little bemused at the thought that any neighbours might be cross at DCs for simply playing in their own back garden during spring and summer. It's sort of what gardens were designed for.

Having said all that, DS2 is a whiner, and my God, I gave the child life but that noise is like nails down a blackboard. How strangers haven't shouted at us so far in shops is beyond me.

I've lost count of the times I've watched children run amok when their mums are sat on a mobile texting etc or chatting to friends. Most recently this was in Costa. It is dangerous for children to run around when people are carrying hot drinks and in restaurants.

I was on a plane a few months ago sat next to a mum with a toddler and a baby. I felt so sorry for her as she was trying to feed the baby while the toddler was just being a toddler and generally excited about flying. The tuts and comments from the seats behind were disgusting. I then spent the 75% of the flight having a great time playing games on my iPad with a very excited toddler while a very stressed out mum tried to settle a grizzly baby. At one point excited toddler stood up on the seat and smiled at the people behind us only to be met with more tuts. He wasn't doing any harm and mum had told him to sit down. The woman behind us said in a really loud voice "people should REALLY learn to control their children". I said in an even louder voice "were you born crabbit or did it take years to master the art of it?" She wound her neck in after that.

Children will make noise. I know my lot do. Jeez, do people actually expect them to be silent? It's been a long winter, the light nights are in and the warmer weather is here. Let kids play I say. I think some people forget they were once children themselves for goodness sake.

My dd is loud. She isn't badly behaved, she just gets excited. She is only 3. The thing is, if i get the ipad out, which quietens her down to the point that you wouldn't know she was there, people tut because she is looking at a screen . I can't win.

hmm haven't read all the posts but can I just say that sometimes this behaviour can't be parented out of a child! Both my children have sensory issues and they bounce and screech a lot. My son had a 20 minute screaming meltdown in pets at home this week because his foot didn't feel right - he then hobbled all the way to the bus stop in the most awkward way imaginable and then screamed the entire walk home from the bus. He was over stimulated, in sensory overload and nothing in the world was going to change his behaviour. Its hard enough as a parent dealing with this kind of thing without the extra worry of what everyone else around you is thinking (and we do know you all think we are crap parents but seriously if you have a better suggestion of fixing these issues I would love to hear them!)

Ah yes, DS last optician appointment, 30 minute hellish wait with him and DD. They had a great time jumping from chair to chair in the tiny waiting area, pulling at the displays, shrieking with laughter... I had neglected to bring a distraction device and had to resort to escalating threats, none of which made a blind bit of difference. Naturally in the eye test itself they were both good as gold.
No extenuating circs as both NT just bloody naughty, they forfeited the promised Kinder egg on that occasion and whinged all the way home

Obviously I am a crap parent as they are both very well behaved at school.

I'm signing up for the crap parent club too.

DS1 is 5yo and in the process of being assessed for ADHD. He cannot sit still and not in a "hahahaha, DS is such a fidget" way, I mean he literally cannot sit still. Even when he is sitting he wiggles, he rocks side to side, he click his fingers, he flaps his hands, he nods his head, he swings his legs about, he slides off his chair then climbs back in his chair, over and over again. When sitting on the sofa at home he often has the small sofa to himself because he has an uncontrollable urge to roll around on it. He has zero volume control - shout, speak, whisper, it's all the same to him - and he gives me a stream of conscious commentary on absolutely everything. If it crosses his mind, it comes out of his mouth. A lot of the time he has difficulty controlling his impulses. At least once a day I will say the words "what on earth possessed you to

Straitjackets spring to mind sometimes, little sods don't give a shit and their parents even less. What happened to discipline, oh sorry, it was abolished!!

When exactly was it abolished Pats? Can you give me the date and the name of the Act of Parliament in which is was laid down?

The day you weren't allowed to slap the odd badly behaved brat and children were given carte Blanche to do whatever they want without any chance of being punished. Respect disappeared and we have bred a generation of kids who think the world owes them a living.

As a sideline can you tell me anywhere that hasn't been overtaken by kids, I'm struggling!

The day you weren't allowed to slap the odd badly behaved brat

Well aren't you a charmer. Would you like a broom handle as detailed in my previous post....?

Bearfrills my sympathies - my 8yo ds is exactly like your ds's description. Although his meltdowns can be daily, sometimes a few times a day. People are not tolerant At. All. But the DWP lady when I went in last time was happy for him to come along (and his younger brother who also has SNs), and she took us into a separate office so they could walk around the office and chatted with them happily. Previous visits were not so nice - tuts and sighs and a comment about finding childcare for appointments. I said "really? You see this behaviour due to SNs and you wonder why it's difficult to find childcare? I DID tell you this on the phone, but you insisted on a meeting this week, instead of next week when they were in school!!"

As a sideline can you tell me anywhere that hasn't been overtaken by kids, I'm struggling!

Well, I'm thinking if you don't like children in public places, maybe YOU should just stay home until you're better able to cope with it. After all, that's the advice people seem to merrily hand out to parents isn't it? Keep your kids at home, don't go to restaurants, and so on. Well, pfffffft to the lot of you. Don't like it? Can't tolerate children at all? Stay home. Problem solved.

well patsy old fashioned discipline clearly didn't work in your case .

I would like more acceptance of children with disabilities rather than sympathy or it being ok as long as their parents are working extra hard.

Why should adults be told to stay at home because of the behavior of children?????

Yes people should be more tolerant of kids with sn and toddlers. But for older kids, why can't they sit on their backsides for half an hour and have a meal?

My ds is 9 and we can take him anywhere and expect him to behave. His time for running riot is in garden, park soft play, etc not in Ikea or in a restaurant