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Original poster

Houseguest From Hell: The Outcome

314 replies

Lilylonglegs · 08/04/2015 11:43

This is for all those who were following the original thread, asking whether I would be unreasonable to kick out my friend who was visiting for a week after her scathing comments and seeming reluctance to leave at the appointed date.

For all those who thought the story was not true, oh how I wish it wasn't, and for all those who advised me to drop the bag at the hospital. YOU WERE RIGHT.

I was feeling guilt at not sticking to the original dates and wanted to at least let her stay the next few days as agreed, however things came to light that let me know FOR SURE that she had no intention of leaving despite the mediation session and being blatantly told that she was not welcome.

Let me rewind back to yesterday. I called her at 5.30pm and she asked me to come back and get the boy. I said that I was not nearby (I hate the way how I was driven into basically becoming a liar like her) and she said that the other friend who lives nearby (who according to her begged her to stay in her house) who she met in France (let me call her French Friend) can come and take him. I said that was best as I didn't know what time I was coming back. She said that she would call her and make the arrangements.

I then called her at 9.30pm and told her that I still was not home, that I would stay the night at my mums house and go back in the morning as I had misplaced my key (another lie from me) She then made a joke that it was a good job they were keeping her in as if she had been out we would have both been "sleeping outside" I did wonder why she wouldn't go to FF if the son was there but I didn't mention it.

I asked what the doctors were saying and she said they took blood and she has to wait 48 hours for the results. I asked what the likely outcome was if there was a clot. She said that she would be put on treatment. I then asked where the son was and she told me that FF came and spent the day with her and was at the hospital between 1 and 5, and then took him home with her at 5. (Remember I spoke to her at 5.30pm and she was going to call FF to come and get the son.)

After sitting and thinking about it and coming to the conclusion that there was no way this was not just a bunch of BS (I would like to give her the benefit of the doubt, and think that just MAYBE she had good intentions but has a different was of going about things than me) I texted her at 10.30pm "Please send me FF address so I can drop the case off there."

There was no reply and I went to bed. In the morning I saw texts she had sent from 12.30am later that night. Saying, "You need to let me come out of the hospital. I cant stay as FF's house as she is under the government (she means council housing) and she called me a few minutes ago that her daughter has been rushed to the hospital so she will need to return DS to the hospital tomorrow morning so you need to have patience as this is a very difficult time for me. I should be out of here tomorrow because the results are out and everything is fine."

These were the texts that made me realise that she is really just a liar and a user. Plus I was with my mum when the texts came through and she went ballistic saying that I should not let her back in the house at all as she is spinning story after story. It is funny how everyone who desperately wants to house her goes on holiday or has some other emergency. It was also funny how at 9.30pm there was all this talk about results in 48 hours and needing treatment but then just 3 hours later, she is completely fine and leaving in the morning.

So I went home packed up all her stuff. All the bags of food shopping she had done (enough to last a few weeks not a few days) and the suitcase. I went to the hospital and dropped it on the reception at the ward. I do think this was somewhat cowardly on my part but I really didn't want to face her non stop sob stories etc. By the time I had got back to the car she was already texting me saying that I need to call her and we need to talk. I said "I had my own emergency. My mum has dropped your bags." She still kept sending texts saying that I should call her and that we really need to talk. No doubt she was still hoping on persuading me to stay. I then went a step further and told her "I'm already on the way to the airport. You already told me you had made other plans."

After this I guess she knew there was no coming back and then came the texts about me being heartless and wicked culminating and a rant about she knows I came to the hospital because the staff told her that it was me and my mum, how I ran away and didn't even attempt to see her on her sick bed. How she is seriously shocked by my behaviour, and she can't believe her life has come to this, how can she know such a wicked person.

I just said "I was not there. I don't know who ran."

That was the last contact I had with her. I am spending the day at my mums and although I feel guilty and not holding up to my end of the agreement by letting her stay until the time agreed I feel relieved to have my house back, as I don't think she would have left, and even now I am worried about her turning up, and even worse staying in the area somehow.

OP posts:
TenerifeSea · 08/04/2015 21:59

Gosh, what a palaver!

ihatelego · 08/04/2015 22:11

*They are colluding the in cover up that the child is well cared for and on holiday staying with friends.

But it's clear no-one is going to do anything to check that he's ok, will be going back home in time to start to school, that his father knows where he is, etc.*

^this sums up exactly how i feel Sad feel so sorry for that poor boy.

Icimoi · 08/04/2015 22:17

You are likewise wrong if you are making any assumptions that I have no training in safeguarding, Fairenuff.

msgrinch · 08/04/2015 22:19

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SouthWestmom · 08/04/2015 22:20

Trained in safeguarding is a bit of a nothing phrase really. Could mean an hour's in house training, a day at an external training course, basic, advanced, safeguarding responsibilities etc.

Maryz · 08/04/2015 22:20

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Original poster
Lilylonglegs · 08/04/2015 22:27

Thanks float your assessment is correct. I believe the child would be british as she is coming from the eu, as opposed to outside the EU. The hospital did tell her social services could look after him if she didn't have anyone else and yes she did refuse, because FF came and got him. He is very attached to his mother. I had to call her twice before bed and then all the way to the hospital he was sulky asking why it was taking so long to see his mum.

OP posts:
Gooddaysunshine · 08/04/2015 22:28

Wasn't the HG staying with someone who turned out to be an alcoholic trying to pimp her out before she came to the UK? Did the Italian wife say HG was working as a prostitute?

I've got serious concerns for that little boy. He could be in a very unsuitable environment. I know I would definitely spend a few minutes making that call to SS if I were in the OP's shoes. I don't know how I could sleep otherwise.

Lweji · 08/04/2015 22:34

He is very attached to his mother. I had to call her twice before bed and then all the way to the hospital he was sulky asking why it was taking so long to see his mum.

Probably because he is unsure of her and has been dumped before. :(

kinkyfuckery · 08/04/2015 22:49

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KwaziisEyepatch · 08/04/2015 22:52

If she's meant to leave the Uk next week she can't be Swedish. Haven't read the whole thread so sorry if I e got it wrong but I'm guessing she's from elsewhere but has been living there? Perhaps she's here for some natal care if she's pregnant? You can always report her if you think she's taking the mick (crimestoppers number) and that may also cover the safeguarding angle. I wouldn't usually think of it but it sounds pretty blatant to me.

Nettymaniaa · 08/04/2015 22:56

I'm off to bed.. May I leave you with this. Polygamy is not legal or the desired norm in Ghana. I think aside from that in the previous thread and parts of this one I thought there was a bit of casual racism. So it's ok for this boy to be in an unstable situation it's just casual globetrotting. African mothers attracted a comment from an educationalist who thought we were parochial for being shocked at nomadic existences. He has a bag full of noodles and biscuits. I doubt I'll be back as I have got some work that I have been avoiding to be getting on with. If OP has connections with Ghanaian families I would request a delete of the whole thing.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 08/04/2015 23:01

Her child will not have automatic rights to British Citizenship, the rules have changed www.aboutimmigration.co.uk/giving-birth-child-uk.html

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 08/04/2015 23:01

I mean the baby, not the 10yo!

madreloco · 08/04/2015 23:03

OP can't decide where this person is from. Ghana? Sweden? Italy? Who can keep track?

Gralick · 08/04/2015 23:05

I've read both threads. I do just want to say I've known a few people like this 'HG'. There are more of them around than you think! The last one, who is British, took my close friend for all of her money and is, I hear, currently leeching off someone else. She has two verified identities that I know about, and two children who exist but we never saw them in 2 years. It looks like she dumps them with various friends/relatives/exes for years at a time, then brings them to be with her whenever she relocates so she can claim more assistance as a single parent.

The woman I've just described is seriously mad in the head, but a lot of people don't see that for a long time. She's charismatic. Some of the others I've known are disturbed, addicted, confused or just plain criminals. One of my family members falls in the 'addicted' category. I'm fond of her, but won't have her to stay with me because she expects the world on a gold plate.

Original poster
Lilylonglegs · 08/04/2015 23:11

gralick these types do tend to be charismatic, funny, witty etc that is how they get away with it and attach to people so easily.

OP posts:
mathanxiety · 09/04/2015 00:01

Icimoi:
Hi, Social Services, I'm a bit concerned about a young boy. Yes, he's with his mother. Yes, they have somewhere to live., it's just that they had to move quickly after I said they couldn't stay at mine any more. She's got Italian citizenship. Yes, she's got a ticket back home. Yes, the boy's father agreed to his son travelling. Yes, she seems to have access to money, he's fully clothed and fed. Sorry, I have no idea where he is. No, he's not in school, but then it is the school holidays and for all I know she's going to enrol him, or travel back to Switzerland or Italy.

...............
Hi Social Services. I am very concerned about a 10 year old boy. He is here with his mother and she has no fixed abode here, nor is she a citizen of the UK. He has stayed in three different private homes since arriving in the UK two weeks ago, as well as a hotel and a NHS hospital where his mother was admitted, and one other place where he and his mother disappeared to while they were staying with me. She may or may not be an Italian citizen and she may or may not be entitled to whatever residence permit she has in the EU as she used a different date of birth from her actual DOB when she recently stayed in X hospital. She told me she left Switzerland two weeks ago, where she had been living for three months and may have been working as a prostitute. I do not know when the child was last in school as the mother is a pathological liar. I do not know if the child's Italian father has any idea where he is or who he is staying with. The child and his mother are living out of their suitcases that appear to hold all their earthly possessions. The mother has made no attempt to enroll the child in a British school and he should have been back to school in Switzerland or Italy this week but instead he and she are staying at the home of a random acquaintance of the mother's. Last thing I heard from the mother she was thinking of dumping the child with friends or relatives or even complete strangers for all I know in Ghana, with no reference made to the child's father in Italy or what he thinks of that plan or whether he has given permission to bring the child to Britain or to Canada.

BackOnPlanetEarth · 09/04/2015 00:19

Nope, I still can't see how it's a SS issue at all. Of course it's best to report if you have any doubts but I can't see that there is anything to report Confused

GettingEggyWithIt · 09/04/2015 00:54

Sorry I ever doubted you OPFlowersWine
Your responses to everyone on here, where you have explained every point wiithout getting remotely frustrated or defensive, is to your credit.

HeyDuggee · 09/04/2015 01:59

"And may have been working as a prostitute"

well yes, calling SS and plain LYING is always sound advice.

The OP wrote the houseguest claimed her flat refusal at a veiled possible suggestion of such a though was the reason she left the accomodation so suddenly.

mathanxiety · 09/04/2015 04:26

The woman is a total liar.
Why bring up that subject when any number of other causes would have been sufficient reason to leave Switzerland -- boyfriend hit her, wife threatened to have her kneecapped-tarred-feathered, wife threatened to shoot her/stab her/take her passport/money, wife was mean to her son...

Why not go back to Italy where her son speaks the language and presumably she knows more people to glom off than she does in Britain?

Come to think of it, if it was that easy to make her leave, the OP should probably have accused her of prostitution, and let the chips fall where they might.

Where did the HG go that night she spent away from the OP's home?

Why does she have three bank accounts? Or does she??

Original poster
Lilylonglegs · 09/04/2015 06:06

mathanxiety she went to FF house and went back there upon discharge as I called FF to check on the boy and I heard her in the background as if she were trying to grab the phone when she realised it were me.

With regards to the fake documents. I don't think they are fake I believe that really is her age but she was lying to ME about being ten years younger. Really odd but some ppl are paranoid about age particularly in cultures where you would be 40 and not valued as an unmarried woman. She probably tells the age lie so much she wants to keep it consistent.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lilylonglegs · 09/04/2015 06:08

mathanxiety you are right there could be soooooo many reasons. I have a huge list in my heads as a lot of what she told me and her actions don't add up, however it is merely speculation.

OP posts:
giraffesCantBunnyHop · 09/04/2015 06:21

Enjoy your freedom op!

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