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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think if you take champagne to a family dinner

179 replies

namechangedincase23 · 05/04/2015 18:38

It should be opened?

Just that really. Took a bottle of naice champers to family dinner at Dsis house. Umm and ahhed about it as was thinking of saving it for our wedding anniversay.

Champagne was put in fridge and did not re-appear despite suggesting we open it and have a toast.

AIBU to think it should have been opened, especially as it was presented with "I brought some fizz so we could toast Easter together" and there was no grey area around it being a gift?

OP posts:
vienna1981 · 05/04/2015 18:42

YANBU. It should certainly have been opened. I get very annoyed with hosts who hide away the bottles they have kindly been brought and serve cheap crap to their guests. Just bad manners.

hiddenhome · 05/04/2015 18:42

Yes, it was a rude and selfish thing not to open it Sad

Original poster
namechangedincase23 · 05/04/2015 18:43

AND I brought pudding and paid half of the food cost Hmm

OP posts:
GiveOverLuv · 05/04/2015 18:47

YANBU!!! Cheeky.

Theycallmemellowjello · 05/04/2015 18:47

I don't know really. I would open it myself. But i wouldn't get upset at someone who didn't - it's a gift to the host really. Like when everyone brings wine the host should open bottles throughout the evening but gets to keep the surplus.

SpaghettiMeatballs · 05/04/2015 18:48

YANBU! It was a contribution to the celebration rather than a gift to the host.

ajandjjmum · 05/04/2015 18:49

Out of order. Friends of ours did this once - we took along a lovely bottle of red for 'him' and DH to share. It was handled it lovingly, put away, and opened their Sainsburys plonk. Which is fine normally but did irritate DH hugely at the time. Grin Even his DW saying, 'come on, open the nice red', didn't crack it!

Original poster
namechangedincase23 · 05/04/2015 18:49

It really, clearly wasn't a gift. It was presented as something to have with dinner and we are a very close family so we don't do "gifts" for dinner as we see each other all the time. It just narked me as it was a very nice bottle and I really was saving it for our anniversay, but thought "Hey - I love my family, let's celebrate".

I still love them, but I'm a bit peeved at this. Not the end of the world but just a bit annoying.

OP posts:
MayLuke83 · 05/04/2015 18:50

YANBU!

HermioneDanger · 05/04/2015 18:50

YABU. I always would consider a bottle I took to someone's house for supper as a gift to thank them for hosting and therefore for them, and not for us. I'd find it quite odd and rude to be presented with a bottle and told we were going to toast Easter (who toasts easter?) with it, even if it was from one of my sisters.

Frankly though I don't think its worth getting het up over and would just let it go and buy another bottle of the fizzy stuff to guzzle drink at home.

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 05/04/2015 18:51

Why didn't you just open it?

Eigg · 05/04/2015 18:51

Erm, if you take a gift to someone's home surely it's just that -a gift?

Theycallmemellowjello · 05/04/2015 18:51

I think it's fine for the host to open his own wine instead of guest's. Some people are picky about wine. As long as there's enough wine for the whole meal.

ahbollocks · 05/04/2015 18:53

I would think it was a gift Blush
I wouldnt toast easter

No no I wouldn't

Theycallmemellowjello · 05/04/2015 18:54

If it wasn't a gift then yabu for not suggesting to open it, sorry! But I'd be annoyed too if I'd been saving a nice bottle. Hope you can treat yourself to another.

Vycount · 05/04/2015 18:55

You were very clear that you took the bottle with you for sharing. I can't work out why posters are saying it was a gift when you've clearly stated that in your opening post. It was a gift to everyone there. Not out of the ordinary when family get together FGS.
You're polite. At my sister's house I'd have probably just asked where the glasses were and gone and got it.

Original poster
namechangedincase23 · 05/04/2015 18:56

If it was a friends dinner party or someones birthday etc I'd be happy for it to be a gift.

It wasn't - it was DSis and it was really clear what it was for.

I did suggest opening it. Twice. On the second occasion it was decided that as half the family were driving it wasn't worth it.

OP posts:
EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 05/04/2015 19:00

I don't know about you but we don't do the formal gift to the host when it's family! We all chip in but it's stuff to be consumed there and then whether wine, olives or pudding. Your sis was out of order! I'd have gone and opened it myself though with a cheery 'where are your nice glasses kept then'?

Original poster
namechangedincase23 · 05/04/2015 19:01

Exactly Ehric. Friends etc, yes - formal gift. Family - no formal gift, just all contribute to a lovely dinner.

I should have just got the glasses :)

OP posts:
OTheHugeManatee · 05/04/2015 19:02

YANBU. Your sister was basically saying 'Seeing you isn't a special enough occasion to warrant opening the champagne YOU brought me, so as it's your gift to me I will save it for an occasion that means more to ME.' Which is fucking rude.

CalicoBlue · 05/04/2015 19:02

I would have got it out of the fridge and opened it. If they then said no it is not worth it, I would have taken it home.

As it was not a gift, just a lovely idea for everyone to drink it together and no one wanted to, taking it home would have been ok.

It was family not friends.

WhoKnowsWhereTheChocolateGoes · 05/04/2015 19:02

I would never take anything to someone for dinner in the expectation it was for sharing unless it was agreed beforehand, eg bringing a salad or pudding. If they are hosting they get the final say on what is served, including drinks, YABU.

RedCrayons · 05/04/2015 19:03

You wouldn't have to ask me twice. Or once really.

SwedishEdith · 05/04/2015 19:05

I think you should have just opened it when you got there. Too late now though.

Vycount · 05/04/2015 19:07

This isn't a formal dinner party, it's lunch with family. All this "anything you take is a gift for the host to dispose of as they choose" is complete bollocks in that situation. Not only did she tell them what the champagne was for... she also paid for half the food and brought pudding. It was obviously a situation where the catering was shared.

I think Op was very restrained. I can't quite visualise a situation where this could happen in my family. The bringer of the champagne would be "Come on then, where's our champaign?!" and it would have been enjoyed by everyone.