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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think if you take champagne to a family dinner

179 replies

namechangedincase23 · 05/04/2015 18:38

It should be opened?

Just that really. Took a bottle of naice champers to family dinner at Dsis house. Umm and ahhed about it as was thinking of saving it for our wedding anniversay.

Champagne was put in fridge and did not re-appear despite suggesting we open it and have a toast.

AIBU to think it should have been opened, especially as it was presented with "I brought some fizz so we could toast Easter together" and there was no grey area around it being a gift?

OP posts:
firesidechat · 05/04/2015 19:08

I wouldn't drink champagne with a meal. Maybe with some nibbles. What food did you have?

Trills · 05/04/2015 19:09

They were BU - you specifically said "let's open it".

It was not a gift to them, which then would become theers to do with as they please.

It was your wine that you wanted to open and drink and share with them.

ladyrosy · 05/04/2015 19:09

My thoughts are:

  1. did the lady of the house have any booze at all? She may be pregnant and they were trying to figure out how to not blurt it quite yet.

  2. could be a drink they don't like. Even when I did drink, I never liked champagne. Perhaps they were trying to cover that.

  3. maybe it was so naice that they want to put it on a pedestal and treasure it for best. They might think this is the highest honour for your lovely gift.

  4. you give gifts without conditions. If they wanted to bathe in it, that's their choice.

Original poster
namechangedincase23 · 05/04/2015 19:09

Sunday roast. But we were there an hour before we ate - which would have worked

Though I'd quite happily drink it with anything from fish and chips to a full dinner. It was fecking vintage

OP posts:
Vycount · 05/04/2015 19:09

In fact, if my sister had pulled a fast one like this on me (unlikely!) I'd be inclined to get on the phone or text her now.
"What a shame we didn't get to open the champagne I brought for us all to share at the meal. Would you mind hanging on to it so that we can do that next time we're all together? Cheers! xxx ". (Those may be Passive Aggressive Kisses).

WhoKnowsWhereTheChocolateGoes · 05/04/2015 19:10

Also they possibly had no idea it was "naice" or special in any way, I wouldn't as I don't drink it, so they might just have put it away without realising. I'd have opened it as we would never use it any other time.

firesidechat · 05/04/2015 19:10

I also agree that if it wasn't a gift then you should have opened it yourself. If I bring a pudding to share it's usually me doing the first slice. I don't think you can complain really.

Vycount · 05/04/2015 19:11

Honestly - if it was a gift it was a gift to all present, not just for the "hosts" (who were only 50% hosting the meal with Op paying half anyway). How can anyone think otherwise?

Original poster
namechangedincase23 · 05/04/2015 19:11

lady

  1. Yes - other wine and beer was provided
  1. DSis loves champagne
  1. Nope - no way. We know each other better than that.
  1. I did give conditions. I said "I have brought some fizz for us to toast Easter together with"
OP posts:
Quiero · 05/04/2015 19:12

I'd have took it back home with me Grin

Quitelikely · 05/04/2015 19:12

Will you text her and ask for it back? I would! Smile

Original poster
namechangedincase23 · 05/04/2015 19:12

Vycount I'm thinking about doing just that as we have another family occasion coming up soon. So I might text and say "Shame we didn't get to open that bottle. Bring it to the meal for xx and we'll have it then"

OP posts:
firesidechat · 05/04/2015 19:13

Well why didn't you open it then? Take charge next time and save yourself the unnecessary stress.

SpringtimeForShatner · 05/04/2015 19:13

Perhaps your sister just didn't think it fitted in with what is essentially a family Sunday dinner. It might still be there next time you see them for an evening get together? Does she like champagne?

Do people toast Easter by the way? I'm not Christian, so I'm not sure of how it's celebrated in believers' homes.

Bunbaker · 05/04/2015 19:13

"I'd find it quite odd and rude to be presented with a bottle and told we were going to toast Easter (who toasts easter?) with it, even if it was from one of my sisters."

Really! Why? What kind of circles do you move in?

Amongst our friends and family it is a given that if you bring a bottle of wine it isn't a gift, but to be drunk before or with the meal.

Original poster
namechangedincase23 · 05/04/2015 19:13

But then again, I don't want everyone to know how petty I really am in my heart of hearts Grin

OP posts:
Bunbaker · 05/04/2015 19:13

I forgot to add that if it was intended as a gift it would be in a gift bag and not just handed unceremoniously over.

SpringtimeForShatner · 05/04/2015 19:14

Oh, she does like champagne, so it wasn't left because of that.

Only1scoop · 05/04/2015 19:14

So you stump up for half a roast and take pud and fizz....I think I'd have just eaten out.

Not sure If Yabu ...you should have been more vocal if you really fancied it....

SpanishMoss · 05/04/2015 19:15

Manners dictate that any drinks you bring to an event should be opened,and shared. YANBU

Original poster
namechangedincase23 · 05/04/2015 19:15

We don't 'toast Easter' exactly (Go Jesus - nice ressurection! etc)

We just don't need an excuse to open a bottle of booze. Any Sunday lunch will have drink. I just thought as it was a special one I'd bring my special bottle of bubbly for everyone to enjoy.

OP posts:
mrsgooglemad · 05/04/2015 19:15

It should have been opened, if someone brought it to my house I would open it straight away and have a toast. Any excuse for a toast with champagne really! Grin

Vycount · 05/04/2015 19:15

Go on Op - do it!
It was very clear what your intentions were, you've told us that you mentioned it several times. Your Sis and BIL know exactly what they were up to. They're probably half way down the bottle as we type.
Next time don't be so polite, not at a family do like this anyway. Different if you've gone to a dinner party and handed the bottle to the hosts with a ribbon round the neck innit?

PearsonSpecter · 05/04/2015 19:16

I must be offending people all the time. I have never opened a bottle bought to my house in the presence of the person bringing it. I was brought up to think that was rude and that as host I should have bought enough in to serve to my guests and not have to serve them what they arrived with. I do always have good wine in stock though.

Yarp · 05/04/2015 19:16

I am not totally sure of the etiquette regarding wine and dinner parties/parties, but I do think that if I had taken a bottle of champagne to a family gathering, I'd expect it to be opened