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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think if you take champagne to a family dinner

179 replies

namechangedincase23 · 05/04/2015 18:38

It should be opened?

Just that really. Took a bottle of naice champers to family dinner at Dsis house. Umm and ahhed about it as was thinking of saving it for our wedding anniversay.

Champagne was put in fridge and did not re-appear despite suggesting we open it and have a toast.

AIBU to think it should have been opened, especially as it was presented with "I brought some fizz so we could toast Easter together" and there was no grey area around it being a gift?

OP posts:
MerryKat · 06/04/2015 07:15

YANBU OP. I do hope you get to taste your fizz at the next family gathering!

MrsKoala · 06/04/2015 07:31

I never understand how this kind of thing happens. I would have just opened it or jokingly teased 'oi stingebag, i bought that for us all to share, get the champers out' etc.

As for the friend saying 'Wow Thank You' and speeding off with it. i would have corrected immediately 'No, this is not a gift this is my drink'.

I know people say, it's easy to say that on the internet blah blah. But honestly, I really would say these things. But that's the kind of friends and family i have. If it was a work colleague/acquaintance then i can see why it would be hard.

I once was given a very nice bottle of wine by a client and left it on my desk - as i was going straight out - to take home the next day. When i got in it was gone and replaced by Mead. My boss had had a late meeting with someone and gave it to them as a gift and then bought the Mead on the way in to replace it. She was a Muslim and didn't drink. To her wine was all just the same and she saw no difference Angry

BringMeTea · 06/04/2015 07:41

MrsKoala wow! That is like, theft. Silly moo.

Siarie · 06/04/2015 07:55

I don't love my family enough to share my good champagne with them. Actually no, I do love some of them enough but I would probably restrict it to £100 maximum price wise per bottle. So if I didn't get a taste it would just be a shame but I wouldn't feel like disgruntled.

We have a epic bottle chilling in the fridge for our PFB arrival, a variety neither of us have tried yet. I think if DH drank it I would demand he restock it immediately! Happy to share with my DH though, after nine months of not drinking I'm going to destroy it.

Siarie · 06/04/2015 07:58

I should add my point is, never take anything you really want to try to a dinner party. This happened to me with cookies, I baked them and had never tried them but really fancied some.

The guest kept them and I never saw them again. Next time I made them I made myself a batch.

SummerHouse · 06/04/2015 08:03

Is everyone else googling DP 2004?

TheReluctantGenius · 06/04/2015 08:06

Nodding along here at mrskoala..
I would have done the same and either opened it myself or made a joke about it - would have saved feeling all resentful.

Hulabaloo3 · 06/04/2015 08:07

Have a meal, ask your sister to bring that lovely celebration bubbly you left at her house, put it in your fridge, use some other wine instead Wink

lemonhope · 06/04/2015 08:13

"Etiquette dictates that if someone brings wine to a dinner you are hosting that is better than what you plan to serve, you should serve theirs. Otherwise thank them for theirs ( treat it as a gift) and serve yours."

Actually etiquette dictates that you shouldn't take wine to a drinks party at all as it implies that you don't trust the host's choices of wine Smile

Taking a smart bottle of champagne is irritating as it implies that your choices are better. Perhaps they had planned what they wanted to drink and there was no room for your champagne. Or perhaps, like me, they don't like champagne Smile

EveBoswell · 06/04/2015 08:15

Hulabaloo You beat me to it but I think the sister would bring it as her contribution anyway to save buying one herself.

PUGaLUGS · 06/04/2015 08:25

I would have just opened it. Plenty of time to drink it before lunch, I would drink it with lunch too.

IMO there doesn't need to be a reason to quaff a glass or two of champagne.

lemonhope · 06/04/2015 08:30

You'd drink dom perignon with lunch faints

MsVestibule · 06/04/2015 08:31

summerhouse yes Grin. And then fainted at the thought of sharing a bottle of £100+++ of champagne with family. Or with anyone. Or even ever owning a bottle of said champagne.

lemonhope · 06/04/2015 08:34

If the OP took a bottle of champagne worth 100 to a family gathering she's a terrible show off. Hopefully the hosts had better manners and took it to be a gift to drink at another time.

SummerHouse · 06/04/2015 08:40

Indeed msvestibule. I would be calculating the cost of each sip whilst hand wringing over having had to serve it in nutella tumblers due to only having one flute.

ElizabethHoover · 06/04/2015 08:43

Lol at "go Jesus"

Financeprincess · 06/04/2015 08:47

Bloody hell, OP, I'd be furious!

Can't believe that she didn't get the bottle out even when you suggested that you all drink it.

I tend to agree with other posters who suggest that the cork was popped before you got to the end of the drive. The cheek of them! If your sister likes champagne then she'll have known that you brought good stuff.

I suspect that they'll now hope that you forget about it before the next family occasion. That is why you should remind them about it two weeks before, to give them time to source a replacement online. Make sure to be specific: we're so looking forward to drinking that 2004 Dom we didn't get around to drinking at Easter!!

bananayellow · 06/04/2015 08:57

Make sure you text them to remind them just before the next family occasion. Don't let them "forget"

Financeprincess · 06/04/2015 09:01

Just told DH about this. He is outraged on your behalf too!

Are you known in your family for being generous? It can lead to to family members taking the p* in my experience: "X can afford nice things, so she won't miss this".

Most people would be too embarrassed to act as your sister has. Don't let her get away with it!

FeijoaSundae · 06/04/2015 09:22

If the OP took a bottle of champagne worth 100 to a family gathering she's a terrible show off. Hopefully the hosts had better manners and took it to be a gift to drink at another time.

This is a joke, right...? Because otherwise it's unbelievably chippy.

And as per the 100s of previous posts, it wasn't a gift, it was brought to be shared and enjoyed by everyone.

silverbangles66 · 06/04/2015 09:48

Forgive me if you've addressed this, OP but didn't she say that as do many people were driving, she didn't think it worth opening?

I'd have kept it for another time when everyone could have had a glass not just the person who brought it and the people who didn't have to drive afterwards.

Zucker · 06/04/2015 09:52

lemonhope
If the OP took a bottle of champagne worth 100 to a family gathering she's a terrible show off. Hopefully the hosts had better manners and took it to be a gift to drink at another time.

What were you thinking OP, you should have brought a bottle of tap water with you!

Original poster
namechangedincase23 · 06/04/2015 10:00

I'm not a show off! They all knew I had been given the bottle as a result of a work thing because I told them all previously (about a week previously as I was so chuffed when it happened) - I didn't pretend I bought the thing and like to casually splash out upwards of £100 on a bottle of champagne for lunch. Also, they know I don't have the spare cash to do that!

She has replied "Will do". We shall see - I bet she 'forgets'

The wierd thing is, if it was just her I would have just opened it. But we were at her DPs house (she lives there too but there is this really odd dynamic where it feels like "his" house and she is very much just living there - not as an equal partner.) I don't know her DP very well and don't feel massively comfortable or welcome there in terms of him. So I didn't feel able to just go "Oi Stingy, open my bloody amazing bottle".

OP posts:
cookiemonster100 · 06/04/2015 10:00

OMG this has happened to us a few times. We now know who we can take the decent stuff to & who we can't.
It's one of those petty things in life that makes me quietly seethe!

Trills · 06/04/2015 10:01

The OP had won/been given a very nice bottle of champagne.

Bringing it to a family gathering to share is A NICE THING TO DO (she could have kept it and drunk it herself).

It is not showing off.

If any of my family members want to come and "show off" in a way that means I get to drink nice wine, they can go ahead.