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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed with fussy eaters?

210 replies

FromRussiaWithLove · 05/04/2015 09:39

Am I being unreasonable to be annoyed with people who are fussy about their food? As in eating things separately, this can't touch that, not eating mushy/solid/green or whatever? Gets me so frustrated. Just bloody eat it! So many people out there would give everything for a fraction of it and yet you're here being awkward! Just needed to get this one out...

OP posts:
StrawberryTot · 05/04/2015 16:09

Limitedperiodonly vegetarians eat milk and eggs. You are mixing vegans up with vegetarians.

StrawberryTot · 05/04/2015 16:14

haha it's okay Giles ??

I will admit that I refer to my DH as fussy, but when I actually think about it, he just likes the things I don't and vice versa.

Gileswithachainsaw · 05/04/2015 16:24

crystal

preferences are fine and normal. and usually hosts ask "is there anything you don't like"

but turning up sighing and gagging at food then announcing you only eat tinned spaghetti cold out the tin and kettle chips, or staring at the chicken in disgust and poking it around your plate cos you only eat himalayen, blue corn fed, never been in a kitchen containing sainsbury own orange juice is just unnecessary and fussy.

Gileswithachainsaw · 05/04/2015 16:26

especially when a week before you were posting pics on Facebook of your 12 inch chicken Chipotle subway.

ToadsJustFellFromTheSky · 05/04/2015 16:28

you only eat tinned spaghetti cold out the tin

ShockShockShock

limitedperiodonly · 05/04/2015 16:29

I'm aware of the difference between vegetarians and vegans strawberry

My vegetarian friend avoids meat and fur and leather on the grounds of animal welfare. However she consumes eggs and dairy.

I think that is somewhat hypocritical of her seeing as the production of eggs and dairy is exploitative and cruel.

But I would not point that out to her and I am similarly grateful to her for not calling me out on wearing fur.

I think I am more ideologically sound than she is because I eat pink veal which are male calves of milk herds, raised in the UK under reasonably good welfare standards, rather than being shipped abroad to be imprisoned in crates in Holland to lick the bars for iron for their pathetically short lives.

Those male calves are the 50 per cent product of keeping dairy cows in milk. The females go back into the herd to be impregnated and slaughtered when they can't give milk any more.

If you consume dairy, what would you do with them?

Gileswithachainsaw · 05/04/2015 16:36

slight exaggeration toads although I have a friend I've cooked for who when you go to serve the veg tells you they won't eat it and and asks for spaghetti instead but not cooked.

point is it tastes the same hot or cold in or out of the Tin and it's just being fussy and unnecessary. no one has to like veg but for the love of god just leave it on the plate instead of eating cold spaghetti with a roast dinner

StrawberryTot · 05/04/2015 16:55

Limitedperiodonly, i was only stating what they were as you queried her choice to consume milk and eggs. But you don't have to understand her reasoning just respect her decision. She is a vegetarian not a vegan so therefore she can have dairy products and eggs without having to explain why.
Not entirely sure what the rant afterwards was about though, but okay Confused

StrawberryTot · 05/04/2015 16:58

Mini! I put mini rant Grin

MrsCs · 05/04/2015 17:13

The thing with this topic is that some people will always feel fussiness is ridiculous and some people will argue it's eating disorders. Neither opinion is right or wrong, simply different. While I will cater to ethical eating, allergens and autism I do feel 'selective eating disorder' is a first world phenomena made up by people who won't grow up. I am as entitled to that opinion as people are to agree with me.

Jacobsmum1973 · 05/04/2015 17:13

I think that their is a boundary between fussy and just not liking certain foods.

MrsCs · 05/04/2015 17:13

*disagree

limitedperiodonly · 05/04/2015 17:22

It wasn't a rant strawberry.

I was explaining why I feel she and other people who refuse to eat meat on the grounds of animal welfare are hypocrites if they consume eggs and dairy.

Those things are the products of meat production and can be easily avoided.

I have another friend who refuses to eat meat, not because he loves animals, but because he finds consuming flesh and all animal products disgusting. I respect his POV more than hers.

I've no problem with the ideology of veganism and thinkiing about it, it's not that hard. I like meat but could avoid it. Wine and isinglass I'd find a bit more difficult. That's another thing that my vegetarian friend ignores.

Are you a vegetarian btw? Or a vegan?

Do you eat dairy and eggs?

What are your rules and get outs? Do you ignore inconvenient things like she does?

The welfare issue of the product of dairy and egg production is a huge one. If you eat dairy and eggs, what do you propose we do with the male calves and chicks? Eat them? Ship them abroad to face stress and lower welfare? Kill them and plough them into the ground?

Sorry if I'm ranting...

CalicoBlue · 05/04/2015 17:27

My DH is a very fussy eater, though he does not think so. It really does bother me.

He is a real pain to cook for and it is embarrassing when we eat at other peoples homes. When we were first together he asked me to pick up ingredients for a salad, so I did, I did not know that a salad was spinach and avocado only! He will not eat eggs, fish (unless it is smoked salmon) most vegetables, dishes were veg and meat are mixed, olives, tomatoes, anything spicy or with too many herbs.....

I look through recipe books and know that I can not cook most of the dishes.

I have to tell friends his list of food he will not eat and I when we do go to friends for dinner he always complains afterwards, to me. So boring.

His father is even worse, no pasta or rice, nothing with a sauce, nothing that would not have been eaten in a mining village in the 40's. I only ever cook Sunday lunch for him, not pork though and he will only eat the peas from the veg.

DH is away at the moment, so I am having tuna steak and salad for supper, he would never eat that.

I am not bothered about other people being fussy if I am not expected to cook for them daily.

Pixa · 05/04/2015 17:28

I have a pescetarian husband who won't touch most vegetables.

I have a brother who won't eat anything that has a sauce or odd texture.

Fussy eaters are welcome at my house - just tell me what you will eat and I will find something. Easter Grin

YANBU though, it can be difficult.

TokenGinger · 05/04/2015 17:30

YABU.

If I don't like the taste of something, I'm not going to eat it. Why should I? Because tosser has an issue with what I'm putting in to my body? Kiss my arse and eat your own food.

limitedperiodonly · 05/04/2015 17:31

Sounds a bit like my DH CalicoBlue except he'd love the tuna steak and salad.

Me? I'd rather eat the cardboard it came in.

StrawberryTot · 05/04/2015 17:38

Limitedperiodonly, I'm a vegetarian, I'm the only one in my household of 2 DC's, DH and my dad. I'm also the only redhead in my family and out of 3 kids the only white one, I doubt there is any link but might as well get everything out there Grin
My choice for being a vegetarian is completely psychological and a long story that relates back to being a child. I eat eggs but try to avoid them as much as I can. I do eat dairy though, I have a mega weakness for chocolate. I prep and cook meat for my family and it doesn't bother me, my DCs are both completely different on the meat front too, my ds would eat the cow in the field where as my dd will take the veggie option over meat.
I don't ignore the inconvenient things, I'm well aware of the dairy industry and the production of eggs but sadly there is little I can do other than be conscious of what's happening. I buy my eggs from a local farmers shop and my milk from the supermarket.

CrystalCove · 05/04/2015 17:41

Giles, fair enough I can see there is a difference! Grin

Micah · 05/04/2015 17:42

Likes/dislikes and general preferences I can take.

I do get a bit judgypants when people get all gluten/carbs/sugar/wheat whatever the latest fad is (with no medical reason)

For one meal, get over it and enjoy your food. Or just ask for no bun with your burger, or don't have pudding. But i don't want a lecture on how we should all be eating low carb, Or if I cut out sugar I'd feel sooo much better, live longer and bring about world peace.

Especially as I have a degree in biochemistry and know way more about energy cycles than you've ever read in a mass market book.

nocoolnamesleft · 05/04/2015 17:56

You'd probably call me a fussy eater. I have textural issues (given that half my family have ASD, I suspect this is one of my traits). Frankly, I would sooner starve than eat mushrooms...it would beat retching and starving. The other textures....cauliflower, brocolli, onions (slimy), egg white, grilled tomoatoes...I can manage to eat, but they ruin the meal. I can only swallow them (without risking the melodramatic gagging you so hate) if each small piece is disguised thoroughly with something else on the fork. It would be much easier if I could just readily eat them.

Of course, I spend days planning for a diet to meet the requirements of my vegan relative whene they visit, but every single fucking time I visit them they cook a combination of mushrooms/cauliflower/brocolli, because I'm just being fussy. FFS.

Alisvolatpropiis · 05/04/2015 18:09

nocool

Those relatives would piss me off so much. How hard could it possibly be for them to do a meal you will enjoy? You extend them that courtesy.

I think worse than flat out having "fussy" eating habits (or food preferences) are people who pretend they eat everything but when you then cook for them they announce a list as long as their arm of things they don't like. So...you don't "eat everything" at all, do you?

That type of person is actually more common than people who are open about it but just get on with it quietly.

Like the relative I have who announced she was now a vegan as we sat down to eat at a japanese restuarant. She then proceeded to ordered sashimi (?????!!!!) whilst I had to pretty much eat my own tongue to stop myself commenting.

SauvignonBlanche · 05/04/2015 19:47

Child fussy eaters I can understand, but Adult fussy eaters do my head in

DS (17 ) has ASD so he's not annoying now but he will be in a few weeks when he turns 18? Hmm

Original poster
FromRussiaWithLove · 05/04/2015 20:11

Guys. Just to be clear, I wasn't talking about eating disorders or digestion disorder or anything legitimate. I was talking about genuinely ridiculous lot who have no good reason for doing that kind of thing. And all those who are going on about minding my own, well isn't what mumsnet threads are for - having a rant? And after all, you're here reading it Smile or are you just one of those fussy eaters and I've offended you? Sorry!

OP posts:
BadEmployee · 05/04/2015 20:14

A lot of what we eat is cultural, to be sure, but those of you who complain about people who'll only "eat British" would probably turn up your noses at, say, Balut or deep-fried tarantula, both of which are eaten in SE Asia. So someone who won't eat curry or whatever is just an extension of this. We all have things we don't like, so unless you eat literally anything that's edible, you're a fussy eater. Just because someone's tastes don't align with your own doesn't mean they're more fussy.

I can't/won't eat baked beans, rice, anything spicy or containing coriander, mushrooms or celery. I also have a food intolerance that is getting worse as I get older and all sorts of things trigger it so I am rapidly running out of things I can safely eat (I managed to set it off with something I cooked from scratch myself yesterday Hmm)

If other people's eating habits bother you, eat alone...