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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed with fussy eaters?

210 replies

FromRussiaWithLove · 05/04/2015 09:39

Am I being unreasonable to be annoyed with people who are fussy about their food? As in eating things separately, this can't touch that, not eating mushy/solid/green or whatever? Gets me so frustrated. Just bloody eat it! So many people out there would give everything for a fraction of it and yet you're here being awkward! Just needed to get this one out...

OP posts:
maddening · 05/04/2015 10:32

Yabu - how and what other people do or do not eat is fuck all to do with you and has no bearing on people suffering poverty anywhere else in the world.

Sallystyle · 05/04/2015 10:32

I'm sorry my sensory issues annoy you.

They annoy me more.

I will just gag over it all if annoys you less. So will my son.

I can't help it. I'm not like this for fun.

Gileswithachainsaw · 05/04/2015 10:34

As a kid I hated mash potato, sausages, quiche, Yorkshire puddings, any suet pudding (savory)

now ill eat quiche and sausages and Yorkshire given now I know they can be light and crisp as opposed to heavy stodgy and soggy.

still hate suet puddings but no one makes them. any more so my chances of being served bacon pudding are extremely slim.

instill don't like mash but will eat it to be polite and I don't make a fuss about it it's just not something I choose to make alot and eat myself at home just give to lids

Perfectlypurple · 05/04/2015 10:37

Yabu, we get a thread like this every couple of months.

I am what you would call fussy. I never moan at other people for what they eat but my non fussy friends moan about what I eat. If we are going out to eat I will have a couple of sides if there isn't a main I want. I am happy with that. I wish people will just leave me alone and let me eat what I want without commenting. I don't comment on their food, so don't comment about mine.

If I don't like something then I don't like it. I am not choosing to not like the taste of something, I just don't like it.

Gileswithachainsaw · 05/04/2015 10:43

You have a point there perfect

for every dramatic friend who's suddenly decided they won't eat something and everyone has to know about it, there's a weird host who makes the pile of carrots left on the side the focus of the meal demanding to know why they haven't been eaten.

I will always try and make what I know people will eat. I also never comment about what people leave.

I will also eat what I can regardless of whether or not I like it.

Some people just like the attention though.

Foreverlurking · 05/04/2015 10:44

YABVVU!

I am a fussy person, just recently getting better. I won't eat potatoes, most mushy foods, most sauces, most foreign food, etc. This is as a result of a genuine food phobia. When I was a child I almost died of gastroenteritis, and was forcefed as a result.

Trying new food made me quake with fear, and if I didn't like it I would actually vomit. It is only with the support of my family I have begun to expand my palette. (Garlic bread! Korma with most of the sauce scraped off! Any sort of vegetable!)

Don't judge others in short. You don't know their reasons and it doesn't even affect you.

123Jump · 05/04/2015 10:44

I don't like meat. Sometimes people serve me meat and I cannot eat it. Not a moral thing I just absolutely hate the stuff. I hate seeing people eat it too but obviously I don't let on about that, just silently gag inside. Grin
But one of my kids has Aspergers and has severe issues with food.
We have just come back from holidays and he ate dry bread roll x2 small ones for breakfast lunch and dinner. He eats about 8 things, and has been this way for years. He just doesn't really like food. He has made massive progress in that he can sit at a table now, and we have been out for 3 meals this year. Our first ever as a family for 11 years!! DS didn't actually eat much at all, dry bread or chips but he enjoyed the experience.
I know you don't mean to be mean OP, but it is so hard for people who actually have issues with food. They feel bad enough about it without you sticking the boot in.

manchestermummy · 05/04/2015 10:45

YANBU because as others have said, most fussy adults are just fussy.

I am regarded as fussy. I don't eat most types of meat due to being force-fed my mother's horrific cooking. I also avoid most dairy as I am lactose intolerant. This is fussiness according to MIL as Sil is also lactose intolerant but manages to eat all manner of creamy foodstuffs without consequence. I can see how the confusion has arisen.

Even before I realised why I was having to dash to the loo immediately on eating, say ice cream, I didn't really like things like that. See, fussy.

I do think that perception of fussiness is relative.

ChipDip · 05/04/2015 10:49

Yanbu most of the fussy ones I know are just plain fussy. And those who have genuine food intolerances, allergies are the ones who don't make an issue of it!

Crossfitmyarse · 05/04/2015 10:51

It doesn't enrage me, but I do find it wearisome and odd. Given that we are just omnivorous mammals and the vast, vast majority omnivorous mammals will happily just sacrf down whatever's put in front of them, content to just have plenty of food, I do wonder why on earth so many of us ended up with such weird and faddy issues and over food.

MyCatIsAGit · 05/04/2015 10:52

Husband who refused to eat eggs or cheese, unless cheese on pizza. It's stuff his mum doesn't like. Now eats cheese omelettes quite happily, likes them, and goats cheese etc. it was just fussiness. Still won't eat fried eggs which is fair enough.

Topseyt · 05/04/2015 10:56

Foxy, clearly your treatment by your mother over food was awful and has caused very deep seated issues. That doesn't justify calling th OP a bitch though.

As a young child I was a very fussy eater. In fact, I worried my parents so much that mealtimes turned into a battleground, to be endured more than enjoyed. They have admitted many times since that it was a mistake to let that happen, as the more entrenched they became over it, the more little toddler me dug my heels in. It went on for some years and was horrible.

I outgrew the phase eventually and was luckily not left with any major issues. I also know that my parents' reaction stemmed from concern, as they had a child who just didn't like eating at all, apparently.

Food can be such a power struggle between parents and children.

Tokelau · 05/04/2015 10:57

YABU. My teenage DD is fussy, my other one is not. It's not a choice, it's the way she is.

DD has always been fussy, ever since she was a small baby. It's not so much the taste, as the texture of some food that makes her gag. She doesn't want to be fussy, it's a pain for her. She does try to eat new things, but there are some things she just can't stand in her mouth. She would love to just be able to eat the same as everyone else.

There must be something that you can't eat, likes sheep's eyes. Could you eat that, or does it make you feel sick? Well that's how she feels about a lot of things.

I do think DD has minor sensory issues. When she was little, she couldn't bear to wear anything with a label, or with elastic touching her skin, but she is getting more tolerant of things like that.

msgrinch · 05/04/2015 11:00

There was absolutely no need to swear and call the op an insensitive bitch for stating an opinion.

Crossfitmyarse · 05/04/2015 11:02

foxy I think you have bigger issues than just food. Hmm

For what it's worth most people who are very fussy eaters haven't been abused. They are just fussy eaters.

Alisvolatpropiis · 05/04/2015 11:13

I'd say I have food preferences (Grin) rather than I'm flat out fussy eater. My diet is wide and varied, the things I don't like are odd and surprising.

I am aware that some of my likes and dislikes are a pain in the arse, though not in a way which would affect a host cooking or ruin a meal out. Even so, I'm keen my child doesn't pick up on it so plan to be very quiet about my likes and dislikes.

ToadsJustFellFromTheSky · 05/04/2015 11:14

For what it's worth most people who are very fussy eaters haven't been abused. They are just fussy eaters.

I think what Foxy was trying to say is that you don't know why someone is a fussy eater so YABVU to judge.

IME fussy eaters aren't just being fussy just for the sake of it. When I think about the fussy eaters I know, they do have a genuine reason why they are fussy and certainly aren't "just fussy eaters". The ones I know have ASD, sensory processing disorder or have eating disorders.

Tbh I find your attitude to a poster who has been abused quite worrying.

CheeseandGherkins · 05/04/2015 11:15

YABU. Why does it bother you what adults CHOOSE to eat or not eat? Thankfully we have a choice. Do you get this dramatic about everything?

ToadsJustFellFromTheSky · 05/04/2015 11:17

There was absolutely no need to swear and call the op an insensitive bitch for stating an opinion.

Her OP was a bit insensitive though.

Lweji · 05/04/2015 11:19

OP, would you eat insects, brain, snails?

I could be considered a fussy eater because, for example, I loathe sweet corn, which most people are ok about.
But I love other foods that some people don't like or would rather go without.
I hate some textures that lots of people love, but love brains.

If you have to deal with people with issues about keeping food separately, etc, just let them make their own dish and get on with it.

manchestermummy · 05/04/2015 11:23

The fussiness I really cannot abide is refusal to try. I went on a work thing not so long ago and the food was, how do I put this, 'elite'. You know the sort: small portions, strange descriptions, foams, different combinations. This is stuff I have come across but the number of colleagues who poked at it, made a face, then pushed the plate away, was staggering.

msgrinch · 05/04/2015 11:25

I totally understand it was insensitive, my colleague has serious food issues anc it's horrible to watch her struggle when we eat out etc. I just think it was unnecessary to call the op a bitch.

itsnotmeitsyou1 · 05/04/2015 11:25

Genuine fussy eaters are a pain in the backside, they really are. I live with one, he won't eat anything other than chips, breaded chicken, sausages, pizza (you get the childish idea). He won't eat any veg, and yet gets offended that I say if he doesn't try and change his appetite he's going to have health problems in the future. Getting him to try something new is like coaxing a toddler, the other day I managed to get him to try curry for the first time in his life. I still have to get him to eat beans on toast, he's never tried it (British born and bred by the way, travesty!).

My mother was the same, no pasta, no cheese and nothing green was ever allied to touch her plate. I didn't discover proper food until uni, as we usually just ate the same thing. Never had a mushroom until then as she thought they were horrible. Now my unborn kid seems to be following suite, as mushrooms makes me heave at the moment Sad.

ToadsJustFellFromTheSky · 05/04/2015 11:26

I still don't get why people find fussy eaters annoying. Fair enough if they never shut up about what they won't eat or kick up a fuss when eating out or make gagging sounds every time people eat something they don't like (and tbh that's being downright rude more than it's been a fussy eater). But if they just quietly get on with it then why would it annoy you?

Here is another thread about this actually. In the case of the OP of that thread why would something like that annoy you? How does it effect you?

RolodexOfHate · 05/04/2015 11:31

Where I live you are all fussy eaters. Chicken brain, bullfrog, duck tongue, pigs trotters and rotten tofu are all standard here. Fussiness depends on context. It's all OK as long as the fussy party isn't rude about it/ raises the issue with the host if necessary. We are all adults, can't we be adult about it?