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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed with fussy eaters?

210 replies

FromRussiaWithLove · 05/04/2015 09:39

Am I being unreasonable to be annoyed with people who are fussy about their food? As in eating things separately, this can't touch that, not eating mushy/solid/green or whatever? Gets me so frustrated. Just bloody eat it! So many people out there would give everything for a fraction of it and yet you're here being awkward! Just needed to get this one out...

OP posts:
Dawndonnaagain · 05/04/2015 11:32

Today I am cooking gammon in honey and ginger. Salmon Wellington. Sausage meat. Mashed swede and carrot, peas, roast potatoes, stuffing, yorkshire puddings.
The only thing that everyone will eat on there is the roast potatoes. The fish is for the non meat eaters, the gammon for the non fish eaters, the sausage meat for the one that can't manage gammon or fish due to textural issues. There are seven of us here today. I don't mind, I'm aware that four of us have and ASC. So, FromRussia YABVVU. People don't choose to be like this. I would love not to gag everytime I smell ketchup, dh would love to eat green vegetables, etc. Nobodies fault, just one of those things that goes along with an ASC. Bit of patience, bit of kindness would be nice.

Gileswithachainsaw · 05/04/2015 11:34

I think it's more annoying g when you know it's BS.

when there's no need for it and it's not even consistent. ie you know they eat it or something very similar but just because it's gig a more exotic name they won't touch it.

or they have eaten it before and not known what it was but now they know it's a curry they suddenly won't eat it.

or they have eaten all components on a pizza but suddenly on a plate it's inedible.

(applies to those full of shit only )

BigChocFrenzy · 05/04/2015 11:34

I don't comment on other folks' food, or pressure them to eat / drink anything.
Eat the food you like, arranged the way you like it. Your choice.
Don't keep telling me all about it, or criticising my choices. I'm an omnivore eats anything that can't run faster than I do

ToadsJustFellFromTheSky · 05/04/2015 11:34

The OP is new.

EmeraldThief · 05/04/2015 11:42

YANBU, I find it pathetic. My dad is like this, he's a nightmare to eat out with as his diet is so limited. He will only eat a roast dinner, providing the veg isn't cooked in anything other that water and the meat is not coated in anything. cremated Well done Steak and chips, pie and chips, chciken and chips or cod and chips. That is it. He will not eat anything with herbs or in a sauce. He has no health problems that prevent him from eating anything, he's just awkard.

Genuine health issues aside I find fussy eating intollerable in adults. They behave like that to get attention IMO.

Gileswithachainsaw · 05/04/2015 11:46

emarald ever lied and caught him out?Grin

Gileswithachainsaw · 05/04/2015 11:50

I don't mean about say, using meat products and claiming it's vege as that's just mean.

but claimed it doesn't have herbs or used a different fish or flavour breadcrumb and he's eaten it and liked it

SaucyJack · 05/04/2015 11:51

Your dad sounds just like my ex-MIL emerald. She does have a genuine mental block when it comes to eating anything other than meat and two veg (Heaven help you put gravy on it tho!), but the fuss she makes about it would be embarrassing in a five year old.

JacquesHammer · 05/04/2015 11:55

I had a work colleague and her husband to dinner years ago. I was cooking fish. I told her and she said "oh I can't bear fish, I don't eat any of it".

So, having bought all the ingredients, I went out and bought something else.

Only for her to get a face on when I served up because she "didn't mean salmon was a fish and it wasn't fair she wasn't getting the same as everyone else as it looked delicious"

They were never invited again

expatinscotland · 05/04/2015 12:05

These threads never go well.

Perfectlypurple · 05/04/2015 12:29

Do people really think fussy people really like these foods but pretend not to to get attention. Ridiculous. As mentioned up thread non fussy eaters have a go at me for my food choices. I have never once said to someone what they are eating looks disgusting, but I have had people do that to me many a time.

I am vegetarian, which probably doesn't help, but there are foods I don't particularly like but could eat if it was served to me, I just wouldn't make it myself, there are also foods that I absolutley could not eat, pineapple for example - it literally makes me sick, same with tomatoes, and milk. Mushrooms I don't really like, but if I was at someone's house and served them I could eat them, I just wouldn't enjoy it.

People should eat what THEY like, not what others want them to eat.

Gileswithachainsaw · 05/04/2015 12:36

I think they do perfect

why else declare a stew was delicious and eat seconds after protesting you didn't like stroganoff/tagine/goulash.

same meal just a re name to get them.to even try it

Perfectlypurple · 05/04/2015 12:45

That's one person. I guess I just get sick of these threads every couple of months making assumptions and being derogatory about people simply because they don't like certain foods.

riverboat1 · 05/04/2015 12:48

I do find it annoying, yes.

There are foods I really don't like, e.g. olives and raw tomatoes. I would always pick these things out of a salad, or sandwich for example, rather than eat them. It is definitely not a choice I am making to be fussy, because raw tomatoes are in loads of things and it is a pain not to like them. I have tried to force them down in the hope of growing a taste for them, and it hasn't worked. I still don't like them. Same with olives.

However, with both these foods, I would and could still eat them to be polite, especially if they were just one aspect of a dish. Like when someone has made a bruschetta with tomatoes and other flavourings and things, I will just eat it, or at least some of it. I like bread and the herbs and flavourings, and they mask the tomatoes to some extent. Same if someone has served up a pasta dish with chopped olives in it, or a tapenade. Much as I dislike olives, I can still manage to enjoy the other elements in the dish and just grin and bear the olivey parts of it.

Therefore I do find it annoying when others are really fussy to the point of going all quiet when a meal is served that has a food they don't like in it, and then not eating it at all because of said element. As a cook/host, I also find it annoying when a conspicuous pile of said ingredient, e.g. olive or tomato or whatever is left on the side of the plate, if it is a dish I have spent time and effort preparing. I wouldn't say anything about it, because I do recognise that people have foods they would rather not eat. But I do internally find it annoying.

Gileswithachainsaw · 05/04/2015 12:49

The only people I'm talking about are ones which I know are just being a pain.

I'm perfectly happy to cater for anyone else's preferences.

just not those who suddenly decide they won't eat something having eaten it before or don't realise it's in their favourite food yet served up separately they don't like it or something.

We all know that one person surely Grin

SauvignonBlanche · 05/04/2015 12:50

YABVU, ignorant and possibly a goady fucker? Hmm

DS is almost an adult and is fussy as fuck about food, he has ASD and can't help it. I wish people would be less judgemental. Sad

EmeraldThief · 05/04/2015 13:01

It's not about people not liking certain things though Perfectly. I can't stand Liver, it makes me feel ill just thinking about it andI'm not especially keen on Lamb either if I'm honest. We all have foods that we don't like, it's when a person has such a limited and particular diet that it starts to impact on the lives of their friends and family. This is the situation we have we my dad, anything other than basic pub grub is off limits. As a family we can't go anywhere too fancy or foreign for a celebration meal as my dad will sulk and refuse to eat anything, it's that kind of behavioir that we all object to. It's manipulative and childish. And please don't get me started on those moronic adults who go "urghh" and "yuck" in restaurants, anyone over the age of about ten who does that is pathetic and needs to fucking grow up!

Perfectlypurple · 05/04/2015 13:04

But that is your dad, not every fussy eater! And the one people I have heard saying yuck and urban in a restaurant is to me because my choices aren't exciting enough for them. It isn't just fussy eaters that are like that.

Perfectlypurple · 05/04/2015 13:04

*only people not one people

Perfectlypurple · 05/04/2015 13:05

And *urghh not urban - bloody auto correct.

ProfessorPickles · 05/04/2015 13:06

YABU, I have an eating disorder that at times makes my life a misery. I can't eat out with friends and have never been on a works do because I am so embarrassed that I am unable to find anything to eat.
All my life I was labelled a fussy eater which suggests it is by choice, but it really isn't a choice it is a serious phobia that makes me very unhappy.

Crossfitmyarse · 05/04/2015 13:07

I have a family member who drinks tea by the gallon but gags at coffee, will not drink any wine AT ALL but will occasionally drink something like a Malibu and pineapple, or a Bacardi Breezer. She won't eat any dishes that have been enhanced or flavoured with onions, garlic, spices, wine, herbs, or other 'strong' flavours or seasonings. She will eat most types of food so long as they are cooked as plain and bland as is humanly possible. Yet weirdly she'll eat liver, mushrooms and cauliflower, and several other things which even 'normal' eaters often dislike. She reckons she can spot garlic at 50 paces yet she'll often eat things like barbecued ribs that have garlic among a million other things in the marinade.

She likes cheese, but only Cheddar. She likes tomatoes and bread, but it took her until the age of about 45 to try a pizza and realise she liked it as a combination. For years she'd just dismissed it as something she wouldn't like, without trying - based on what, God only knows. She likes steak but it must be a well done rump shoe leather. She's now also graduated to eating pasta, so long as the sauce is bland and not too interesting. Hmm She absolutely will NOT try anything remotely curry-like.

She'll eat a 'beef casserole' but not a Boeuf Bourgignon (it's forrin and full of wine and herbs) but ALL my cooking is full of wine and herbs, or Guinness or garlic, or soy sauce or something and so long as I don't tell her what's in them she eats them happily. It's a mental block about the idea of these ingredients - half the time she couldn't pick them out in the overall taste if she tried.

Gileswithachainsaw · 05/04/2015 13:10

or sweetcorn. happily tucking in to tuna and eaten it on pizza for years.

yet on a plate it's apparently yuck Hmm

Topseyt · 05/04/2015 13:13

Emerald is putting it pretty well with her description of her dad and the way it is restricting for others.

I am not keen on liver either and wouldn't actually buy it. Oddly though, I do enjoy some things that have it as an ingredient or flavouring - patés etc. It is the texture and overly strong flavour of it as a meat on its own that I don't enjoy.

Fanfeckintastic · 05/04/2015 13:18

I have a few friends who will only ever order chicken nuggets and chips even if we're in the most amazing restaurant! It annoys me beyond belief, which is totally unreasonable.