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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be annoyed with fussy eaters?

210 replies

FromRussiaWithLove · 05/04/2015 09:39

Am I being unreasonable to be annoyed with people who are fussy about their food? As in eating things separately, this can't touch that, not eating mushy/solid/green or whatever? Gets me so frustrated. Just bloody eat it! So many people out there would give everything for a fraction of it and yet you're here being awkward! Just needed to get this one out...

OP posts:
ToadsJustFellFromTheSky · 05/04/2015 14:26

I have also never met a fussy eater who kicks up a fuss or makes gagging noises around food. All the ones I know just quietly get on with it and don't want a fuss made. Most of them are all also very embarrassed about their eating habits.

ToadsJustFellFromTheSky · 05/04/2015 14:31

Yes, some fussy eaters may be on the Autistic spectrum

Hmm Wait a second, didn't you just say that autism was a lame excuse for fussy eating and that they should just grow up?

My dad isn't autustic amd neither are any of the other fussy eaters I know, they behave that way because they've been indulged all of their lives and allowed to get away with it. My dad was a mummy's boy, who my Nana pandered every whim to and my mum, for her sins, carried that on after she married him.

So?

Seriously, grow the fuck up.

EmeraldThief · 05/04/2015 14:33

I have Toads. A female aquatiancence who always orders the same thing when out, a steak baguette, and then proceeds to disect it piece by piece, examining every piece with a look of disgust and suspicion as though it's been laced with arsenic or something.

ToadsJustFellFromTheSky · 05/04/2015 14:34

So?

ToadsJustFellFromTheSky · 05/04/2015 14:37

It always amazes me how invested people are in other people's lives. Someone ordering the same fucking sandwich every day has no effect on your life whatsoever so why do you give a shit?

EmeraldThief · 05/04/2015 14:38

No? Where did I say autism is a lame excuse?

I do however think that presuming all fussy eaters are autistic is lame and ridiculous.

Gileswithachainsaw · 05/04/2015 14:40

Well that's just rude emeralds

order what you like but don't have to give a kitchen nightmares performance. It's hard to eat a meal with friends when someone's deliver all making the focus all about them.

just get on with eating what parts you like and join in the conversation like a normal person.

ToadsJustFellFromTheSky · 05/04/2015 14:42

Nobody has said that all fussy eaters are autistic. People have given autism as a reason some people might have issues around food, along with other things such as eating disorders and sensory processing disorder. That doesn't mean that we're saying all fussy eaters have these things, we're simply pointing out that there is often more to it and you don't know the reasons why people are the way they are.

Gileswithachainsaw · 05/04/2015 14:43

I bet they are also the same people who never offer to host. or suggest a restaurant with a dish you like.

because what fun would it be having cooked and served up a meal that you will eat all of.

(the people who give the performances)

Foxyloxyatehennypenny · 05/04/2015 14:44

I notice you never responded to my post Emerald. So do you think I have a "lame" excuse for not liking all food or being "fussy"? How does what people choose to eat affect you? I'll be it doesn't actually affect you, you are simply intolerant.

Foxyloxyatehennypenny · 05/04/2015 14:45

I bet "selective eating" and food phobias and the other lame excuses for fadiness that are being trotted on here don't exist in third world countries where food is scarce. Would you even have these issues of you were actually starving I wonder?.

To answer your question yes, I would. However, perhaps that's something to do with being made to eat my own vomit because I couldn't finish a plate of food. I often threw up because I was so full. I had to eat it all until that plate was clear of food vomited on or not. So yes, in my case I would still have "issues", be a "selective eater" and have a "lame excuse" for being "faddy".

Here's a repost Emerald just in case you missed it first time.

richthegreatcornholio · 05/04/2015 14:46

I have a few friends who will only ever order chicken nuggets and chips even if we're in the most amazing restaurant! It annoys me beyond belief, which is totally unreasonable.

Can you get chicken nuggets in an amazing restaurant?

Gileswithachainsaw · 05/04/2015 14:46

I think she made it clear how it affects her.

When people make a huge deal about the performance instead of just getting on with it.

I mean usually people can just order a portion of chips or ask the waited to not put a gravy or sauce or peas or beans on.

Most places are accommodating to that.

EmeraldThief · 05/04/2015 14:47

Toads I don't think I'm the one who needs to grow up. I'm not the one who being aggressive and rude to anyone who doesnt agree with me ;)

Giles yes, it is bloody rude. Ordering the same thing every time she eat's out is her business, but the way she dissects it is so embarrassing and disprespectful.

itosh · 05/04/2015 14:47

oh my gosh yes!!! Just get on with!!

MyCatIsAGit · 05/04/2015 14:47

It does make a difference if when you go out to eat with them, a fussy eater, you always have to go to a particular pizza place as they will only eat cheese and tomato pizza. Same person now eats curry, Thai, Chinese after going to uni and being out with friends rather than indulged by GPs.

Or kids here where two are happy to eat almost anything and 3rd won't eat veg and only likes steak, McDs and roast dinner. It makes it really hard to cook or eat out. And it is fussiness.

I'm not saying there aren't people who have real food issues, of course there are.

Gileswithachainsaw · 05/04/2015 14:48

When your all eating together in a restaurant or at someone's house.

just ask the host to not put something on your plate rather than act like they are trying to kill you with garnish

CatHammock · 05/04/2015 14:48

re "you wouldn't be fussy if you were starving" - it's fairtly well reported that people with food allergies in a famine situation will eat their allergen, suffer the allergic reaction and that contributes to mortality stats. What with throwing up what little nutrition you've been able to get, and all.

I'll admit to an irrational irritation at people like my stepmum - she's currently gluten-free (except for some exceptions), previously she was vegetarian except for fish and chicken, no brassicas.... Her exclusion list reads like a combo of those "5 foods you must NEVER eat" adverts and whatever's currently causing cancer/obesity in the Mail, and has never been the same twice. It's the drama of it that irritates me - any meal out with her involves a 15-minute interrogation of the waiter, and a lecture about why whatever it is this week is THE WORST, worse if you've ordered something on her list (I recall gagging noises over a broccoli and cheese quiche - pastry and cheese and brassicas! Basically death on a plate!). It feels like an attention thing? I can compare her to my MiL, who is celiac, and is a delight to eat out with and cook for - it just requires a bit of thought (and at Christmas, enough jugs for three different types of gravy for three people...)

itosh · 05/04/2015 14:49

I had a friend who wouldn't eat anything my mother cooked when she stayed over and to this day I don't understand why.. when asked if she would like some said yes.. then didn't even try it. Pissed me off and I just found it rude

NickiFury · 05/04/2015 14:49

I think people can choose to put whatever they want into there OWN bodies and it couldn't occur to me think I should have an opinion at all leg alone get angry about it

OnlyLovers · 05/04/2015 14:50

No, Toads, as my post clearly says, I find fussy eating as a concept irritating AS WELL as rude behaviour around food.

I have also never met a fussy eater who kicks up a fuss or makes gagging noises around food. All the ones I know just quietly get on with it and don't want a fuss made.

Unfortunately I have had different experiences. Perhaps other posters on here have too?

Family members have bitched about the food when I made them Christmas dinner. A relative handed me back a full untouched jar of chutney I'd made to take to a gathering at their house and said 'Obviously we didn't touch it.'

An ex-friend (not 'ex' because of this behaviour although I certainly don't miss it) used to find something she didn't like in everything I made for her; she made gagging 'yuck' noises and faces when a dish of something she didn't like was passed round the table and she found herself holding it; at a friend's house for dinner, when offered vegan ice-cream she refused it and loudly talked about how she liked her ice-cream full of fat and sugar.

A friend's DH, when I said I was making poached eggs for when they arrived for lunch, asked if we had unsalted butter and what kind of bread did we have; he hoped it was something like a good sourdough.

I could go on.

ToadsJustFellFromTheSky · 05/04/2015 14:50

Emerald would you like to explain what you meant by this quote:

"I bet "selective eating" and food phobias and the other lame excuses for fadiness that are being trotted on here"

You posted that after people had been giving reasons why some people might be fussy. One of the things discussed was autism. Other things discussed was eating disorders and SPD.

If those weren't the things you were referring to when you said "other lame excuses for fadiness that are being trotted on here" that what were you referring to? Because I can't see anything else that you could have been referring to as those were the things which were being talked about.

ToadsJustFellFromTheSky · 05/04/2015 14:55

No, Toads, as my post clearly says, I find fussy eating as a concept irritating AS WELL as rude behaviour around food.

Why? It's none of your business what other people eat. Let people eat what they want.

Lydiand · 05/04/2015 14:56

I am a fussy eater with no MH issues at all, why would anyone else care?

People that are fussy about clothes, now they are fucking annoying.

They drag you round shops asking your opinion on everything they try on, whether you're interested or not.

If they didn't scoff everything on the plates placed in front of them, perhaps their arses might not look so big in the changing room mirrors.

ToadsJustFellFromTheSky · 05/04/2015 14:57

Emerald has also not addressed the posts whee posters have explained that people have indeed starved to death because of food issues.