To be annoyed with fussy eaters?

[FromRussiaWithLove]

Am I being unreasonable to be annoyed with people who are fussy about their food? As in eating things separately, this can't touch that, not eating mushy/solid/green or whatever? Gets me so frustrated. Just bloody eat it! So many people out there would give everything for a fraction of it and yet you're here being awkward! Just needed to get this one out...

I haven't met anyone that makes gagging noises or makes a fuss about food. I don't know, maybe I don't watch people closely enough. A few of my friends are vegan and I think I annoy them though as I text the menu I'm making before they come. I like to make sure I'm not cooking anything with ingredients they don't eat. That's more of a lack of confidence on my part though.

But Cat being allergic or intolerant to something is not the same as being fussy is it?

Its pretty obvious that the people the OP is referring to are those who dislike pretty much eveything other than a new bland choices and even claim to dislike something that they've never even tried.

Well, I've already said why – or, rather, already made clear that I KNOW it doesn't always affect me but that it annoys me anyway.

I'll say it again: lots of things get discussed on here that just annoy people. I'm not unusual or terrible for finding something annoying just because I do.
And I love the idea that I might NOT let someone eat what they want.

Feel free to keep asking me why but fair warning: I will just keep saying the same thing; because that's my answer. It's not that interesting or worthy of further discussion, really, is it?

But some people make sure it becomes everyone else's business. be case instead of speaking up when the invitation is received, or politely explaining on arrival and having the chance to raid the hosts fridge and throw together something they will eat that enables everyone to sit down together. they seemingly prefer to sit there eating nothing and turning down every thing else offered meaning no one can actually sit down and relax.

what other reason would that behavior be for of not to just be the centre of attention.

Toads I don't think I'm the one who needs to grow up. I'm not the one who being aggressive and rude to anyone who doesnt agree with me ;)

So you're the one who has made fun of disabilities and mental health issues among other things, yet I'm the rude one who needs to grow up?

Lol, okay.

Ordering the same thing every time she eat's out is her business

I'm glad you admit as much.

but the way she dissects it is so embarrassing and disprespectful

Who cares?

My mother used to boast that I was a 'good eater'. In later life I realised that I was just less fussy than she was and that was quite fussy.

The list of things she wouldn't eat was enormous.

• Any vegetable that wasn't green unless it was a carrot or a potato;
• Some vegetables that were green eg spinach, asparagus, courgettes, marrows and green peppers;
• Meat with fruit - so no to apple sauce with pork or cranberry with turkey;
• Salt and pepper - her cooking shouldn't need it. In fact any condiment was wrong though she allowed my dad to eat mint sauce which was a jar of vinegar with some elderly dried mint in it and turned a blind eye to my brother's habit of smothering everything in HP sauce;
• Tomato ketchup;
• Pizza;
• Any cheese other than the mildest Irish cheddar, though she developed a racy liking for Sainsbury's West Country in her later years;
• Any meat with a modicum of pinkness - she'd buy the best cuts and then annihilate them. That's where my love of stews comes from. It's hard to dry out a stew;
• Any offal except annihilated lamb liver. Calf liver was poncey but she was tempted by the flavour and cheapness of chicken liver.

But she was very easy to take out to dinner because lots of places do steak and chips and the best places will nuke them without a murmur. She would just whisper to me: 'Can you get me something nice?' I was very touched when I ordered grilled chicken for her in a Florentine restaurant and she carefully scraped the devilling off without complaint.

I've grown into a human dustbin - though I'll never take my dad's crown .

OnlyLovers um, of course it doesn't really matter and it's not worthy of discussion. That's what I've been trying to bloody say.

Giles that's just rudeness rather than fussy eating. Plenty of fussy eaters just get on with it and don't make a fuss. I'm willing to bet that if those rude people weren't fussy eaters they would find something else to be rude about.

See the options are : say before hand. Give the host a chance to liaise with said guest and produce something acceptable for all or something easily adjustable.

bring your own

find out details of restaurant and give a quick call to pre check ingredients etc to see if it's possible to request or pre book a dish.

offer to host and then cook what you like

eat before hand and just order some chips or eat the one component the host has coined that you will eat

ask host of s/he minds if you make up a plate of food you like.

sit down, get on with it and join in conversation.

All these options allow fir a relaxed fun meal, anyone questioning why someone has something different or laughing then becomes the rude one.

What is an interesting question o's why people don't consider this and blindly go ahead and ruin it for everyone.

meals out are a treat for many people. not something that can be afforded often. There is no need to puff and sigh about the menu or moan about the food or gag and be dramatic over your order.

I'd probably be classed as a fussy eater - tastes are very simplistic/childish, I'd much rather have fish fingers and mash than anything with a sauce on it.

I don't like curry, don't like many veg (I'm a fiend for peas and sweetcorn though), hate baked beans, don't like eggs other than the occasional boiled egg and soldiers if I'm in the mood, don't like things with sauces I've tried on it other than ketchup and BBQ (I even hate brown sauce).

I don't know if I'm more sensitive to horrible tastes or other people are less sensitive, or if it's something to do with stomach issues in the past, but I can't just grin and bear it and eat it, say 'Ooh yummy' or whatever. I think it's much more polite to silently leave it on the plate, rather than to force it down and be sick, which is a very real possible alternative, particularly in the case of beans, eggs or celery.

I politely refuse, or just leave it and apologise if questioned on it. People who question it or make comments are rude and annoying, IMO. Those who 'perform' their fussiness are rude and annoying too, but if you get genuinely irritated at people for disliking/being unable to stomach the same foods you like, you're the one with the issue to be honest.

bland choices and even claim to dislike something that they've never even tried.
Again with the ignorance Emerald. Some people on the spectrum have under sensitive tastebuds, some over sensitive, so some need bland, some need spicy foods. Many will not try something new, particularly when out. It's hard enough being out and suffering sensory overload in a restaurant without being expected to try something new. Again, tolerance dear, and a little kindness.

YANBU. I know people who are so restrictive that they'll only eat at one restaurant, and ask for dry chicken on a dry toast sandwich, with chips and only one place does it how they like it. I find myself on edge tbh because of it.

But you can choose who you hang out with and who you don't so I'd say if it bothers you; just keep it more casual and don't arrange to meet if food is involved.

I have no doubt whatsoever that my son would die if he lived in a third world country.

In fact, the go to bed hungry thing? he would for days if he only had the option of eating food he hated or hunger, he would pick hunger. Or he would just vomit it all out.

I wouldn't say being a fussy eater and wanting your food separate/ not touching is the same thing. My dad doesn't like food touching and eats it all seperately, I just think he's weird not fussy.

I'm also referred to as fussy as im a vegetarian, I always inform people I'm veggie prior to visits if I'm eating there. I'm often offered fish which drives me insane as a vegetarian doesn't eat fish so I say no thanks and to which I'm then told I'm fussy!! Erm no I'm not Im just a vegetarian!!!!! And relax

vegetarian is not fussy. more is vegan.

those unable to cater for that have a very limited repertoire . so much so the irony is in them calling someone else difficult.

nor not more

YANBU. People are entitled to eat or not eat whatever they like, but nobody who expresses any kind of strict dietary preference/requirement ever gets invited to mine for dinner. I've been known to rescind invitations to dinner when someone starts telling me what they will and won't eat! If you have food issues, don't go to a dinner party and create awkwardness for the host and everyone else by having to have special treatment.

Very true Giles.

I also forgot to add to my post that im also wheat intolerant, which is difficult at weddings, christenings and parties as they always have sandwiches. But as bread is my weakness I'll eat it and suffer the consequences :(

I cook a vegetable curry for vegetarian friends at home that I realised was suitable for vegans too.

They really like it and so do I and fussy-as-hell DH. If you want the recipe, feel free to ask.

The reason why I cooked for them is that I couldn't face the arsey comments to the waiters when we ate out. Even if it was a restaurant of her choice.

She is a vegetarian for animal welfare reasons but turns a blind eye to milk and eggs.

AyMamita from experience most people who are either genuinely intolerant of foods, or really selective in their eating, will refuse dinner invitations anyway. I do as much as possible. The thought of eating at someone's house makes me panic for days beforehand as I don't want to be seen as rude.

Why is disliking some food now an "issue" or fussiness. We are all different and like different things in life, food is no different. I don't like tomatoes and tomato based sauces for example and don't see it as an issue at all. There's no way I would have good friends ovet for dinner and make them eat something they don't like, of course ongoing to make something they like.

See that's where talking comes in handy strawberry

perfect chance to speak up and make suggestions and answer questions.

unless you prefer to play the victim and puff and sigh

I'm with you OP.
Child fussy eaters I can understand, but Adult fussy eaters do my head in.
If you don't like it, just Leave It On The Plate!

My husband, although a recent convert to cheese, can't face something like Mac cheese or risotto. Friends made us mushroom risotto, I knew he couldn't eat it, it was delicious and full of Parmesan. But he took lots of salad, some bread, ate a bit, chatted, did his dues as a guest and gratefully filled up with my pudding when I said I couldn't finish it,

He's fussy but polite, they didn't notice, had a lovely meal. No grumps etc.

I meant as if you were to eat at mine. not teh weddings strawberry

I'd not trust mass caterers