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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think dp's ex has cried over these easter dates to bag herself some free childcare?

237 replies

rhonddagirl · 04/04/2015 21:47

They have been split for a year but he does loads for her- most of before and after school care of their 2 dds, plus part of the weekends. He was due to have them over the Easter weekend, from today til Tuesday so she could work from home (she's a teacher) but he has been offered some work so can't do it - or so I thought. He is self-employed so no work, no pay.

Anyway, he went to see her this am to tell her he could only have them until Monday morning (his dm was available til then) and she has had a meltdown - can't cope unless he has them til Tuesday. So he has caved and the job is off Angry.

AIBU to think this is a piss-take and she is using him?

OP posts:
keepsmiling2015 · 04/04/2015 22:37

You want us to say that she's being unreasonable for not accepting him changing the plans at the last minute. That's really not going to happen.

Of course Yabu.

Foxyloxyatehennypenny · 04/04/2015 22:38

I just want us to be able to make decisions without worrying how she will take them. And I don't get why she needed this weekend so badly - she has 2 weeks off starting Good Friday. Dp will be skint for another week at least now...

You have absolutely no right to use "us" where the children are concerned after ONLY being with him for 6 months. Your DP and the mother of their children had an arrangement which is nothing to do with you. It's also none of your damn business why she "needed" this weekend. You seem very interested in the money your boyfriend makes...

PartyConfused · 04/04/2015 22:39

Well, OP, all i can say that as both an ex and as a woman in a new relationship I can see both sides. But when my new bf spends all weekend with his dc are find this a massive attraction.

As for the ex having 'a meltdown' are you serious?! It is fucking hardwork looking after kids on your own and a massive shock to the system to be let down by someone you thought would help bring them up together and with you to suddenly leave you with the lot.

You say you have dc? I dont believe you. And if you do, well done you for finding it easier than me.

YABVVVVVVVVU

WELL DONE.

Fiddlerontheroof · 04/04/2015 22:40

My ex does this, cancels at the last moment or wants to change days. It's fucking infuriating, especially when I do 95% of the childcare. He also comes out with...I'm not childcare. If I need to work, I organise childcare, if he needs to work he needs to do the same!

Also, it really isn't any of your business....if I'm really honest.

msgrinch · 04/04/2015 22:41

Party. Thanks I hope you find all the happiness in the world in your new relationship.

MarshmallowFluff · 04/04/2015 22:41

Seems like she only has to turn on the tears and our plans change - not the first time...

She didn't change the plans. He did. Confused

You really need to stop dabbling.

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 04/04/2015 22:41

Is this for real? Wow. Nobody can be this lacking in self awareness and empathy surely?

msgrinch · 04/04/2015 22:42

interesting first thread op.Wink

Littlemonstersrule · 04/04/2015 22:42

He needs to run a mile. A GF of a few months has no right to be dictating anything much less when he has contact with his own children. He could of work had he arranged childcare.

DrankSangriaInThePark · 04/04/2015 22:43

PartyThanks from me too. And a big Wine Wine

PartyConfused · 04/04/2015 22:44

Oh plenty of Wine tonight. Ex has the dc Wink

To you OP Easter Biscuit

IHateStampysVoice · 04/04/2015 22:44

party Flowers

If the OP is the partys ex's new gf then of course the op will panic and deny it to save face.

But OP, whether you and party are connected or not you sound utterly bitter and vile.

tiggytape · 04/04/2015 22:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

msgrinch · 04/04/2015 22:46

We should have a party's ex is a wanker party Wine Wine

textfan · 04/04/2015 22:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CaptainHolt · 04/04/2015 22:48

Why did he take on work over Easter weekend if he knew he didn't have childcare Confused

I don't get how she is 'using him'. Surely he is just looking after his own kids.

99pokerface · 04/04/2015 22:51

Op please do these poor children a favour don't marry or have children with him you will make a wicked stepmother not in a cool fab way either

justonemoretime2p · 04/04/2015 22:56

It's very short notice to change plans and they have only been separated for a year.
Maybe she could have tried to be really reasonable but you don't know her plans.

MissyMistress402 · 04/04/2015 22:59

Mumsnet Bitches on patrol, fucking hell, calm down ladies. No need for this verbal bashing the OP seems to be getting! Nasty nasty nasty. As per.

IHateStampysVoice · 04/04/2015 23:00

You have blatantly been caught out OP. Party found you out. This is hilarious.

She wont comeback, I bet.

msgrinch · 04/04/2015 23:03

missymisstress have you rtft

username says it all Wink

BunnyCake · 04/04/2015 23:03

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Jackw · 04/04/2015 23:03

It's the "he does loads for her" comment that I find really distasteful, as if spending time with his own children is in some way doing her a favour. You have a bad, bad conception of what parenting is. I understand that if there was the opportunity for work, it was worth him seeing if she could take over but thank goodness, he is a decent person and recognised that this was too difficult for her. She's not being unreasonable, he is behaving decently, you should be ashamed of yourself.

ihatelego · 04/04/2015 23:06

YABVVVU nothing else to add as pp have spelt it out perfectly!

AyeAmarok · 04/04/2015 23:07

YABU. Very.

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