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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think dp's ex has cried over these easter dates to bag herself some free childcare?

237 replies

rhonddagirl · 04/04/2015 21:47

They have been split for a year but he does loads for her- most of before and after school care of their 2 dds, plus part of the weekends. He was due to have them over the Easter weekend, from today til Tuesday so she could work from home (she's a teacher) but he has been offered some work so can't do it - or so I thought. He is self-employed so no work, no pay.

Anyway, he went to see her this am to tell her he could only have them until Monday morning (his dm was available til then) and she has had a meltdown - can't cope unless he has them til Tuesday. So he has caved and the job is off Angry.

AIBU to think this is a piss-take and she is using him?

OP posts:
CalleighDoodle · 04/04/2015 22:23

Cross post!

SmokingGun · 04/04/2015 22:25

My DB is a teacher, I popped in to see him a couple of weeks ago and he was very teary due to the shear workload he has. He has no life, he is either teaching, doing lesson plans or marking. He was teary without the added pressure of having DC's to look after. I feel dreadful for the amount of pressure on teachers these days.

I can fully understand why a sudden change of plans meaning she no longer gets an uninterrupted weekend to do whatever she needs to do would have her in tears.

YABVU.

Flowers for all the teachers having to do their work over the weekend.

msgrinch · 04/04/2015 22:26

Why are you struggling?! You can't have been with him for more than 11 months. unless you are the ow, in which case good I hope you are. Grin Alot.

PartyConfused · 04/04/2015 22:26

This sounds so familiar....

You do realise that if you are who i think you are that he is lying to you as much as he lied/is lying to me.

Everything you've said so far (apart from what the 'ex' is supposed to have done) rings very true Sad

mynewpassion · 04/04/2015 22:26

YABU. He changed the plans not her. I would have a meltdown with an unreliable ex like him and with you, who supports his unreliableness.

Baabaapinksheep · 04/04/2015 22:27

Surely when they agreed he would have dc this weekend he knew he wouldn't be able to work at the same time, so he can't possibly be relying on money from work he was never going to be able to do?

CalleighDoodle · 04/04/2015 22:27

Op were you the ow?

msgrinch · 04/04/2015 22:28

Surely in the evenings the ex is looking after her children. you know the ones your boyfriend helped to make.

party Wine Thanks hope you're ok x

KeturahLee · 04/04/2015 22:29

If he needs to work why doesn't he sort some childcare?

PinkSquash · 04/04/2015 22:30

Oh, OP. Why are you so bitter?

Tellmetheduckstory · 04/04/2015 22:31

Oh my God Party is this the ow? Shock

cleanmyhouse · 04/04/2015 22:31

PartyConfused you are my new mumsnet crush. Best post ever.

Baabaapinksheep · 04/04/2015 22:31

"we are struggling" do you really have joint finances with someone who's children you've only met a couple of times??

PartyConfused · 04/04/2015 22:31

If OP is my stbxh 'OW' we split just under a year ago.
the arrangement for this weekend have always been as they stand now. But he had a tantrum because he and cunt want to go away. I suspect he has been lying to her to make himself look less spineless.

I had our dds all of last week (12 days) without a break and they have both been ill with d&v. I am exhausted. last minute I asked for an extra night 'off'.

CadMaryzCremeEggzAreASwizz · 04/04/2015 22:32

Party, is he your ex?

If he is, congratulations, I suspect he and the op deserve each other.

PartyConfused · 04/04/2015 22:33

I am freaking out a bit here.

Original poster
rhonddagirl · 04/04/2015 22:33

Not in the Midlands and not an ow. We have been together nearly 6 months and it is hard as she is very demanding of him. I know they are his children and I love that he is a good dad, but seriously, every few weeks she is in tears over one thing or another and he is therefore cancelling our plans, turning down work or something.

I just want us to be able to make decisions without worrying how she will take them. And I don't get why she needed this weekend so badly - she has 2 weeks off starting Good Friday. Dp will be skint for another week at least now...

OP posts:
BaronessEllaSaturday · 04/04/2015 22:34

but she isn't the one trying to change the plans he is!

Greenrememberedhills · 04/04/2015 22:34

I think that regardless, it is none of your business.

TerryTheGreenHorse · 04/04/2015 22:35

Pointless this is going to be.

msgrinch · 04/04/2015 22:35

Eugh vile little humans. If this is the ow she isn't worth threading the ground you walk on and you've had a lucky escape getting away from such a spineless waste of cells.

99pokerface · 04/04/2015 22:36

My ex used to do this its passive aggressive and I dare say a few single mum know this trick changing an established time to see children in order to render the mother unable to go out usually happens on a weekend like a bank hoildAy or newyears ECt

Y of are not very nice op it's not childcare unless you are saying these are not in fact his children and is a nanny and he has changed the plans not her why shouldn't she cry o bet he fucked her bank hoilday being a single mother I wouldn't think she has fee time often

ChipDip · 04/04/2015 22:36

6 months and already you come across as controlling. It's his kids, he can do/spend as much time taking care of them as he wants. Not your business.

msgrinch · 04/04/2015 22:37

op. YABU. get it into your head. You've been together 6 months, he's a boyfriend not a partner stay out of his family business.

PinkSquash · 04/04/2015 22:37

DP will be skint because he hasn't wanted to pay for childcare while he works. I have no sympathy for him or you.