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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not want her playing with my soft toys?

185 replies

MsMarvel · 04/04/2015 17:32

Even though dsd has a room full of soft toys and teddies, she seems to always want to play with mine.

I have a few soft toys that I have a strong sentimental attatchment to. Various gifts from dp, and I really like having the comfort of them.

I really don't like dsd playing with them, and want to tell her to go and get her own and leave mine alone, but it feels really petty, so it always ends up with her playing with them, and me on edge while she has them. I don't even know what I'm expecting to go wrong, but I get really uncomfortable if they ar e being played with.

Am I a horrible horrible person? Dp doesn't see the big deal, and I think he would be annoyed if I actually told her no if she asked to play with them.

OP posts:
Unexpected · 04/04/2015 17:33

What age is she?

Original poster
MsMarvel · 04/04/2015 17:34

She's 7.

OP posts:
BellasOrgasmicWalkingFoot · 04/04/2015 17:34

Why not just lock them away somewhere?

Madamecastafiore · 04/04/2015 17:35

I'd think you were a bit of a tosser if you told a child she couldn't play with your teddy, well unless it was a mega expensive antique Steif or some such heirloom.

But then if DH bought me a stuffed toy I'd probably laugh at him.

Zippidydoodah · 04/04/2015 17:36

Erm, yes YABU and a bit odd. But yes, if you really don't want your child to play with your toys, put them somewhere she can't get to them.

MangoJuggler · 04/04/2015 17:36

I would put yours away prior to visits, as you would with any other precious/untouchable/personal stuff. Out of sight out of mind yada yada.

(Not commenting on the adult soft toys thing, not my place to)

TerryTheGreenHorse · 04/04/2015 17:36

It feels petty because it IS petty.

I don't think you can tell a 7 year old not to play with your teddies, the only solution is you box them up and put them away.

ChipDip · 04/04/2015 17:36

Er grow up. Yabvu.

msgrinch · 04/04/2015 17:38

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

gaggiagirl · 04/04/2015 17:39

Lock your toys away if you can't share nicely with other children.

Mrsstarlord · 04/04/2015 17:40

Never mind how old is DSD, how old are you?! Confused

Unless you are a very young step parent or have some sort of additional needs I would say that a) having teddies is a bit odd and b) not wanting to share them with an actual child is even more odd.

As Terry says, it feels petty because it is petty

KurriKurri · 04/04/2015 17:40

If you didn't want her to play with them you should have never let her see them in the first place - of course she wants to play with them, they are toys, she's a little girl. You need to lock them away if it makes you uncomfortable - but what do you fear will happen to them if she plays with them?

As a word of warning soft toys can take over your house (I know because it happened to us !) I wouldn't get her too many more, they are hard to get rid of for exactly the reason you mention - people become sentimentally attached to them.

AlpacaMyBags · 04/04/2015 17:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TerryTheGreenHorse · 04/04/2015 17:41

Your like Lord Business from the Lego Movie.

Do you want that?

Vivacia · 04/04/2015 17:41

I thought this was going to be one of those threads written by a cat or a baby.

Personally, I don't really get stuffed toys for adults, but I understand that these items are yours and have sentimental value. Put them in a drawer or somewhere safe.

HostOfDaffodils · 04/04/2015 17:42

I think it's all a bit symbolic. You want to keep (some of) your relationship with your partner separate from your stepdaughter.

Meanwhile your 7 year old stepdaughter wants to feel that she's able to share everything. In particular she doesn't want to feel that there's another 'special girl' who is given toys by her Dad, which she isn't allowed to touch.

If your partner had given you priceless crystal ornaments, then you could reasonably put them on a high shelf.

Perhaps you just need to focus on deciding which are the appropriate bits of your relationship with your partner to keep 'private' - and which parts of your life together she gets to share.

PinkTriangle · 04/04/2015 17:42

Yabu for having teddies and then being so preciois about them!

TwoOddSocks · 04/04/2015 17:42

She probably wants to play with them because they're yours. Maybe she looks up to you or just likes you and that makes the toys more appealing. If you don't want her to touch them lock them away so she can't see them, or get another cuddly toy that can be "yours" but that she's welcome to play with.

Madamecastafiore · 04/04/2015 17:44

Cock Ring Hostofdaffodils?

Nanny0gg · 04/04/2015 17:44

Blimey!

How rude do some of you have to be?

Just because you don't like soft toys for adults, doesn't mean other people can't have them. I love the Live and Let Live ethos on here.

Just like anything else precious, put them away so she can't see them in future.

TerryTheGreenHorse · 04/04/2015 17:44

She wants to play with them because they are children's toys.

It she wanted to play slingball with the OPs bra I could see the point.

KurriKurri · 04/04/2015 17:44

I don't think you are odd by the way for needing teddies - adults sometimes do turn to comfort objects maybe because of some childhood thing that happened or some anxiety or insecurity or whatever - we don;t know the reason OP might want comforters, let's not condemn her as odd. Little girl is totally normal in wanting to play with them though so you will have to hide OP if it worries you.

crazykat · 04/04/2015 17:44

I think it's fair enough telling her she can't play with them. I have a few teddies that mean something to me, including an expensive steiff one that my mum bought me, and my dcs aren't allowed to play with them as they belong to me.

Could you get a shelf put up for them where she can't reach? Mine are on top of our wardrobe and a high shelf above our bed.

Your dsd is old enough to understand that she can't play with things that aren't hers.

KurriKurri · 04/04/2015 17:45

x-post NannyOgg - I agree with you.

gamerchick · 04/04/2015 17:45

Because nobody on this thread has been irrational about anything EVA Wink

You know she can't hurt them but the only way to stop a kid playing with something is to put them away. Or buy some new ones and put them with yours to take the edge off.