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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not want her playing with my soft toys?

185 replies

MsMarvel · 04/04/2015 17:32

Even though dsd has a room full of soft toys and teddies, she seems to always want to play with mine.

I have a few soft toys that I have a strong sentimental attatchment to. Various gifts from dp, and I really like having the comfort of them.

I really don't like dsd playing with them, and want to tell her to go and get her own and leave mine alone, but it feels really petty, so it always ends up with her playing with them, and me on edge while she has them. I don't even know what I'm expecting to go wrong, but I get really uncomfortable if they ar e being played with.

Am I a horrible horrible person? Dp doesn't see the big deal, and I think he would be annoyed if I actually told her no if she asked to play with them.

OP posts:
maninawomansworld · 04/04/2015 19:13

YANBU at all, just tell her straight 'sorry these are mine and you're not allowed to play with them, why don't you go and play with your own'.

No need to explain yourself to her or put them out of reach or anything like that, simply telling her that they are yours not hers and are off limits should be enough.

We have 2 year old twins so haven't quite got to that stage yet but we've plenty of nieces and nephews who regularly stay with us and we don't go round the house before they visit hiding things away - they just know no to touch certain things because we've told them not to. There are some stuffed toys, loads of dog toys, a couple of really very expensive guitars (DW is a very accomplished musician) and all sorts of fun stuff. They just aren't allowed near them and they know if they're caught there will be consequences.

CatsCantTwerk · 04/04/2015 19:15

Sorry but this thread is just hilarious! Grin

Ledkr, I am a size 14 and not keen on soft toys either, Anyone else want to play? Grin Grin

liveloveluggage · 04/04/2015 19:17

I agree put them away before her visits and have a few "special" toys in your room ( nice looking normal toys that you keep on a special shelf in your room and only let her play with if she promises to be careful)

x2boys · 04/04/2015 19:20

My auntie never left home she had a teddy bear and a doll all of her neices and nephews were allowed to play with all thirteen of us I m not sure
why you
wouldnt allow
a child to play
with them .

OTheHugeManatee · 04/04/2015 19:21

YABU. Sorry, but adults with loads of soft toys are a bit weird.

MadameJosephine · 04/04/2015 19:22

I am also a size 14 and no teddy bears in sight. DP however is 6'1" and built like a brick shithouse and has several childhood toys stashed in the garage that he couldn't bring himself to throw away when we moved in together, should I be concerned that he may become morbidly obese/skeletally skinny (delete as per crackpot theory)

liveloveluggage · 04/04/2015 19:23

I say I agree, but I don't agree with everyone, only those who said the same as me! I remember when dd was little my stuff was what she wanted to play with because it was more special than her own boring baby toys. I think you need to keep a balance between being kind and letting them play with some of this amazing stuff and retaining some of your own right to have nice things.

NerrSnerr · 04/04/2015 19:24

I'm a size 10 and have some soft toys.

msgrinch · 04/04/2015 19:25

I'm a 12-14 depending on shop and I'd rather not have stuffed toys in my house.

WhirlpoolGalaxyM51 · 04/04/2015 19:28

I have the one stuffed toy mentioned earlier, and have also purloined one of the kids larger ones that I like to crook my leg over (fnar) when I sleep as it's more comfy... Is this because I'm getting older?

At the mo I'm a size 12.

And have a 5.5 shoe size.

msgrinch · 04/04/2015 19:31

My shoe is a 5

WhirlpoolGalaxyM51 · 04/04/2015 19:32

Interesting.

FaFoutis · 04/04/2015 19:34

I gave all my childhood soft toys to my DC, if my husband bought me a teddy I would sneer at him openly.
I'm size 12/14, size 9 feet.

HoraceCope · 04/04/2015 19:38

i came on here as I thought you were talking about a puppy, playing with your toys
i was wrong.
yabu

Waxlyrically · 04/04/2015 19:39

I have two teddy bears, an old childhood one and a Mother's Day present from when DC were small. I am a size 10/12 , size 5 shoe and I am on the short side at 5 ft 3. HTH

BucketFullOfDinosaurs · 04/04/2015 19:39

Did you ask your teddies whether they want to play with her?

Marmiteandjamislush · 04/04/2015 19:39

Sorry if I've missed this OP, the thread was a bit hard to follow tbh. Are they in your bedroom? If so, can you not just say: 'DSD, please don't go into my room and play with things. That is my room and you have your own.'

MidnightDinosaur · 04/04/2015 19:40

I think Caspian has the right idea.

Explain to DSD that they are your special teddies and you are going to put them out of the way to keep them Safe. Why don't we both go to the shop together once a month (or whatever) just the 2 of us and choose a special teddy together that we can share?

I'm a MidnightDinosaur, I have a turtle teddy and I'm a size 12.

MidnightDinosaur · 04/04/2015 19:41

Well that bold didn't work. Caspian

Nospringflower · 04/04/2015 19:43

Size 8 and no teddies here Grin

HoraceCope · 04/04/2015 19:46

my dds have bought me teddies, I am not telling you my size

PtolemysNeedle · 04/04/2015 19:47

People like all sorts of random things, I don't think an adult liking soft toys is a problem. Personally, I love a colouring book and have been known to get very excited over a new set of felt tip pens.

Just put the toys away when she comes OP. You might nt like having to hide your own things in your own home, but you home is hers too if her Dad lives there, and she deserves to be happy there just as much as you do.

ihavenonameonhere · 04/04/2015 19:48

I am a size 12 within my bmi and have a teddy in my bed. To be fair I am not keen on kids playing with him but then I also always put him away if there are kids visiting as its only fair. Otherwise they just wont understand

TerryTheGreenHorse · 04/04/2015 19:49

I'm a size 12 and not a teddy person.

Is there a pattern yet?

GlitzAndGigglesx · 04/04/2015 19:51

Size 10 prior to pregnancy now size 12 and no soft toys. I do however hoard chocolate. In my stomach where it's safe.