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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To Kick Her Out Of My House Immediately?

967 replies

Lilylonglegs · 03/04/2015 12:04

I have the Houseguest from hell.

I was told before she arrived that she was coming for 2 weeks spending a week with another friend and a week with me. I have an 8 month old baby and she has a ten year old son and is pregnant with dc number 2. A day after she arrived she called to say that she has to leave her friend's house as her friend is going on holiday the next day. I thought this was odd as how can you come from a different country to visit someone and they tell you after you have got there that they are going away?

Nevertheless I told her that I wouldn't be around at that time as I hadn't expected her until 5 days later. She u ummmd and Ahhhhed saying that a hotel was too expensive and that she might as well go back to Sweden where she lives. I agreed with her although in the end she booked a hotel and ended up coming to mine a day sooner than arranged which I really was not too pleased with but is better than coming the 5 days earlier.

When she arrived my DC was with her grandmother so I took them out to a restaurant and invited another friend. We had a really good time. The trouble started the next day. She complained that my house was too small, my toilet is too small, there is no room in there for her to change comfortably, my sofa bed is too small and uncomfortable. I don't have any food containers, she doesn't like the type of food I have. The shops in my area don't sell the type of food she likes. I should have shave my daughters hair off to make it grow. My daughter would walk if she was surrounded by more children as her child walked at 7 months, why don't I feed my child salty pasta and on and on and on.

My daughter has a mild cold and she wants me traipsing around with them, even though I have told her my child is my priority and not her. I probably would have made more effort before her inconsiderate ungrateful behaviour.

Now where it gets worse is that she is saying that she doesn't want to go back to Sweden but wants to live in UK permanently. She is meant to leave in a week but claims money is coming to her account from the father of her unborn DC the day before she is due to leave, which she will use to source an apartment.

The problem is how will she find and move into a place in a week and who will rent a room to a single pregnant mother and child? She can't afford anything more than a room. My fear is that she is trying not to leave my house. She says her friend who went on holiday will let her stay for a few months until she finds her feet, but that friend is not due back for another 3 weeks. I've asked her repeatedly where she will go until her friend comes back as she is leaving mine in a week and she just keeps saying "it will work out" oh and I forgot she has already asked me to lend her £300 when she knows that I am only on maternity pay.

Would I be Unreasonable to just tell her to leave now as I don't think I can take much more of this!

OP posts:
Loiner45 · 08/04/2015 08:42

Some people on MN really do lead parochial lives Shock- as a teacher I was well used to learning about complex family backgrounds and journeys that would make this boy's look quite ordinary. People who have left, or been displaced from, their country of origin can have very complex lives, friends and connections. They use these connections (sometimes tenuous) to survive as they don't have close family groupings near by. African mothers and children coming into the UK via Europe and sofa surfing is not something I find surprising - and there are some very stark cultural differences in expectations here that are again totally plausible in my experience.

If you don't believe the op then report, don't do the cynical troll hunting on thread, it's tedious. If you don't believe it report and stop reading.

DrankSangriaInThePark · 08/04/2015 08:57

And as a teacher who lives in one of the countries mentioned, I'd say it's you, rather than most of us, who needs to wake up abd smell the
Whilst HQ will undoubtedly say the OP is genuine, what with her having a sum total prior to this of 3 threads, all, iirc mentioning foreign fathers, I believe the houseguest is a lying fantasist sponger. In fact, given the information from the OP, I KNOW she is.
I don't think the OP is a troll. I think she has been taken for a long and intricate ride (round several hostelries by the sound of it) by some chancer who is relying on this multicultural guff to get whatever it is she is after.

Patapouf · 08/04/2015 09:03

No news OP?

ijustwanttobeme · 08/04/2015 09:26

I think HG has left the hospital. Not to stay with the friend who lives close to lily, but from a new friend (coukd be patient, nurse, doctor, cleaner) she made at hospital.

Probably someone who casually mentioned, 'oh I'm from Ghana, Nigeria, Italy, Sweden, Switzerland, Canada' and HG says,' ooh we've got so much in common, we are now best friends'. Grin

Nettymaniaa · 08/04/2015 09:40

Well I am off out and by the time I return I expect the HG and the thread to be gone.

BabyGanoush · 08/04/2015 10:10

Agree Loiner. The trollhunting is so childish as well. And boring.

Justusemyname · 08/04/2015 10:20

How is the little boy?

anothernumberone · 08/04/2015 10:27

I really wish there was less troll hunting on this thread. That is the sort of thing that makes MNHQ delete threads and then we never get to hear where Phileas Fogg's next adventure is.

Nettymaniaa · 08/04/2015 10:35

Actually I am delayed out so I thought I would use up another post. On the subject of parochial lives both myself and my partner (who is Ghanain) are in the education profession. And neither of us would accept this as ok. This is do do with this individuals own personal if she is real drama and not ethnicity. If it is at all real. And in an earlier part of my long career I held a post which required me to work in homes. I still don't accept this. The trigger for me is the speed of escalation in this story and remember OP stated clearly that the HG mentioned leaving the boy with a friend. This is where child protection would come in. Oh the teenager has surfaced we can go. But that's a whole other thread.

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 08/04/2015 10:42

Who's troll hunting?

BadLad · 08/04/2015 10:51

Gordon Bennett. Just throw her out the minute you get home. You should have done that the moment she pissed you off. Bugger her problems.

Lilylonglegs · 08/04/2015 10:57

Please don't post any more so I can come and post the end of the story. It's very long and tragic. Will be back in the next 20 minutes. Just know this I am shakey, in shock, relieved and also feeling some guilt. But knowing you guys I'm thinking I will start a new thread titled houseguest from hell the outcome.

OP posts:
Inkanta · 08/04/2015 10:59

Lily come back or start a new thread. The last few posts are going to get eaten by the afternoon.

Patapouf · 08/04/2015 11:22

I actually can't help myself. Hurry OP!

P.s hope you're okay

Bettercallsaul1 · 08/04/2015 11:29

At least we all have a solid reason not to vote Conservative now that it has been established that George Osborne is an alien. We can thank this thread for that anyway.

Lilylonglegs · 08/04/2015 11:47

I have started a new thread with the outcome.

"Houseguest From Hell: The Outcome" under AIBU

OP posts:
Eggrique · 08/04/2015 19:52

People who have left, or been displaced from, their country of origin can have very complex lives, friends and connections. They use these connections (sometimes tenuous) to survive as they don't have close family groupings near by. African mothers and children coming into the UK via Europe and sofa surfing is not something I find surprising - and there are some very stark cultural differences in expectations here that are again totally plausible in my experience

Indeed this story can serve as a warning about who you get involved with on your travels, pass on addresses to, take a short stay with etc. etc.
The whole friends of friends so can do them a short term favour thing.

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